Back in the groove

Routine. I cherish it. I value knowing what I'm going to do each day, doing it in that order. I love having the option of spontanaeity - when it can be planned in advance (!) In short, I like my time to myself. This is what I get after all those years of having kids home with me. My time is my own, for the present.

So, for the last few days, my house was overrun by my in-laws - Gary's parents and his sister. They are very high maintenance - and they're the worst kind - you know, they think they're low maintenance.

My relationship with my in-laws is not too unlike many others, I'm guessing. I suspect they would have preferred their son marry someone who had more in common with them - someone who came from the same part of Missouri they did, who liked to fish and camp and have fish fries. Their children are perfect (trust me - they've said so more than once), thus if we ever do anything they don't like (move far away, don't call enough, don't visit often) it must be my fault, because their *perfect son* would never do such a thing. (News flash: Their son is, like all the rest of us, a flawed human being.)

I truly think they have good intentions. They're provincial people, not well educated, not terribly sophisticated. They've lived in the same town of 5,000 people their entire lives and have limited experience. I think that they truly look at other people's lives, others' mistakes, and quietly think to themselves, "You know, we raised our kids this way, we did this. If other people simply made the same choices we did, they would have good luck too." I think it's beyond their comprehension that others might not have those same options - others' children are complex, with problems beyond their scope or realm of experience.

And I have real concerns for assuming your kids are *perfect.* I made a comment once about Gary being absent-minded. My MIL had a fit - she took it as a personal affront. What if someone called one of your children less than perfect, she asked me. Well, I said, it might be true. Just as I said about her son, my children are merely human, complete with flaws and imperfections. I think that if you set up your kids for perfection, then you're all in for a huge disappointment. Why not just be realistic? I think my children are wonderful, and I know I have to be their advocate - if I don't, then no one will. But at the same time, they will make mistakes. It's my job to make sure they don't make mistakes from which they can't recover.

So, needless to say, being around my in-laws wears me out. They mean well, but I need short doses.

It's all small stuff, really, all picky. But it all runs together and wears on me. Still, they are my in-laws, so I will bear it. And with a smile.

Still, I'm glad it's over. Two more days til summer vacation ...