Life in the 'hood

Out here in the suburbs, life can be a little bizarre. Everyone has to leave for work before 6 am in order to avoid the traffic. We don't allow our trash cans to be seen if it's not trash day. We like our sidewalks edged, and we will cite you if they're not edged to our satisfaction. Women actually get breast enhancement and plastic surgery.

And then there's the mass consumerism. I would describe much of what I see around me as the cult of conspicuous consumption. I'm not a big fan; I'm sort of a less-is-more kind of person in that respect. I like quality, but I don't feel a need to 1) only buy name brands or 2) advertise to the world how much I spend on everything.

I also grow tired of the attitudes around me. There is an air of entitlement, this tacit belief that if you can afford to buy a house in this "exclusive" suburban development, then you are just a little bit better than, a little more important than those who can't.

To perpetuate these beliefs, my neighborhood has its own Yahoo group, an open forum for the exchange of ideas. It is used mostly as a place to get contractor or business recommendations, find out information about where to go, sell stuff, look for babysitters.

It is also a place for those who feel most sanctimonious about their lives in this suburban enclave to voice their opinions on the evils of the world. Among the topics that get hotly debated are:

* Recycline - yay or nay (and boy does THAT one pull out the crazies)
• Girl Scout cookies for sale - which deteriorated into virtual sexual harassment when one particular board member (who has since been banned) recommended that moms lay off the cookies so that he "would have something worth staring at at swim meets and soccer games."
• Why we cannot possibly tolerate apartments being built in our school district
• Any slow-moving vehicle or stranger seen in the neighborhood - two recent examples ended up being the newspaper delivery guy and a real estate appraiser, hardly subversive characters

There was a recent thread on how dangerous the world has become and why don't we just gate ourselves in - because as everyone knows, if you just shut yourself away, the evils of the world simply vanish? Fortunately, voices of reason pointed out that a) it's not as simple as it sounds (ie, you have to be willing to maintain your own streets) and b) if we'd wanted to live in a gated community, we would have purchased houses in one.

But my favorite started this week: A parent asked if someone had an old copy of The DaVinci Code for her son to use in school. It literally hit the fan: This is required reading in school? Don't tell me schools don't have an agenda! Thank goodness my kids go to private school! and on and on.

One parent said she did not want her children exposed to the ideas in that book; there are some things she does not want her children to question. Another parent was outraged that the public schools allow kids to read books that mock Christianity.

The arguments went downhill from there - posts from people arguing that the schools are pushing propaganda, posts from others espousing the right to read what they want.

Mostly, I am bugged by the lack of tolerance. One woman got off on a tangent about the book Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry, saying that it's not appropriate for kids because of the language. Another parent said Tom Sawyer has been banned (not true as far as I know), that kids can't wear t-shirts to school that say Merry Christmas, carry a Bible, or pray (not true, not true, not true), and that kids need to be protected from such radical ideas.

I should point out that The DaVinci Code was not required reading - it is part of a unit on modern fiction and the student chose the book from a list. All the parent did was ask if someone had a copy of the book. And mass hysteria has ensued.

I read The DaVinci Code. It is fiction. And it's not even great fiction - sure, it was entertaining enough when I read it, but it's not all that well written. And I know it's not necessarily true - it's based on myths that have been floating around for years, but that doesn't make it fact. (Gary said he felt it was pretty clear from about the second chapter that Dan Brown has a huge axe to grind with the Catholic Church so it was hard to take him seriously.)

But I am not going to shield my kids from books that might be controversial, that might make them engage in ... critical thinking. My mother read everything I was reading, and she never once told me I should not read a book (even when it was Flowers in the Attic). Reading encourages dialogue, prompts discussions.

As one level-headed person on the list pointed out, this year kids have read books about rape, double suicide, accidental gun shooting, communism, and multiple gods. Do we really want to discourage kids from reading Oedipus? To Kill a Mockingbird? Huckleberry Finn? The Catcher in the Rye? What are we to do? Burn all the books? Instead, let's encourage our kids to open their minds. A little thinking never hurt anybody.

My children will be allowed to read The DaVinci Code. They will also be allowed to read The Golden Notebook. And The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. All of it. And I am happy to discuss all of these ideas - and more. We're kind of big on the exchange of ideas - the more they question, the more they learn.

Is it any wonder the suburbs drive me nuts?!?!?