Oh yes, it's '80s Night

I always look back on music from the 1980s with great fondness. I actually thought that music I listened to in high school and college had some redeeming qualities.

Then I tuned into American Idol on '80s night. And learned I was wrong.

I listened to two hours of mostly crap music. I knew there would be some, but wow, I had no idea just how craptastic it would be. I had to listen to:

• Don't You Forget About Me - Simple Minds
As sung by Aussie guy
• Tainted Love - Soft Cell
As sung by the very gay boy
• Unknown Don Henley son
As sung by the Kid
• Hello - Lionel Richie
A sung by Emo guy
• Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - Wham
As sung by Luke
• Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen/Jeff Buckley
As sung by Dreads
• Unknown Whitney Houston song
As sung by Chikezie
• Unknown song
As sung by Stripper boy

I didn't mind the Simple Minds, Soft Cell, or Leonard Cohen. During the first strains of that Lionel Richie song, I was struggling, wondering what it was. Then I realized - good god - that it was by Lionel Richie, and I wanted to run screaming from the room - this was the best you could come up with? But when I listened, I gave him some credit - he kind of did a cool take on it. Or as cool as you can get with, well, Lionel Richie.

Then the girls sang. And I have to say, the song selection was no better. We were treated to not one, but two Whitney Houston songs, Journey, Phil Collins, and Pat Benatar.

I am losing faith in my coming-of-age music.

I heard a commentary on NPR one day, and it described how you set the soundtrack of your life based on the music you listen to, the music you love, between the ages of 14 and 21. After that, you are less likely to be open to new music. For me, this puts my soundtrack-setting years right smack in the 1980s. A decade where, apparently, all the tunes that made the charts were non-imaginative, techno-pop-dance numbers with sappy lyrics.

Which left me wondering, what would I have sung? Had I had to choose? I started trying to remember what my favorites were, what albums (transferred to cassette) did I play? I immediately settled on The Bangles first LP, All Over the Place, with the song Going Down to Liverpool. Then it was Sweet, Sweet Baby Mine by Lone Justice, fronted by Maria McKee. Great songs.

And it all came coming back - all the music I loved about the '80s. From new-waveish bands like The Human League, Kajagoogoo, Flock of Seagulls, Talk Talk, to better alternative fare like The Smiths, Game Theory, Aztec Camera, the Replacements, They Might Be Giants, Tears for Fears, Depeche Mode, the Cure. Singers like Suzanne Vega and Kate Bush. Big-name acts like Elvis Costello and The Police (who started in the 70s, but they carried over). XTC, INXS, Bruce Springsteen, and U2. MTV-only bands like Roman Holiday.

I take it back. The 1980s did have great music. Those American Idol kids just aren't aware of what it was - after all, some of them weren't even born. There was a lot of throwaway crap, but there was a fair amount that was good. Or good at the time. And that's all that matters.

I'll leave you with a most entertaining, not to mention disturbing, video from the heyday of MTV videos: