When too many is, in fact, too many

I flipped on the television the other night and caught part of "17 Kids and Counting." the horrendous show about the Duggar family from Arkansas and their passel of children. The mother is my age and just gave birth to baby No. 18, with no plans to quit.

I'm no fan of the Duggars. I know, I should live and let live. And if they kept their life private, then I would be less inclined to comment. But once they took their family onto a cable television program, then it became everyone's business.

I have real issues with their basic child-rearing philosophy, with continuing to just have more and more and more children with very little regard to the consequences. It's impossible to have too many children, they say; "that's like saying there are too many flowers." Not a good analogy - flowers can be left in a garden, watered from time to time, and merely gazed upon for enjoyment. When you're rearing children, they need to be looked upon as individuals, not as one tiny part of a group. They need time and attention, something those kids are not getting.

They are extremely conservative; the girls wear only skirts, don't cut their hair, and they have some odd dating/courtship ritual that precludes any physical contact before marriage - not even a kiss. Which is all OK, if that's what you believe.

But my biggest gripe? Their claim that they watch "very little television." Yet they have their children on a cable show? It says exploitation to me. Obviously, they could not afford to have all these children and maintain any sort of standard of living (which includes a giant house, bus, and multiple appliances - much of which was provided through donations/corporate sponsorship), thus they are willing to prostitute out their kids to a medium they disdain in order to make a buck.

Appalling.

Yes, Mrs. Duggar, it is possible to have too many children. A sentiment I would love to pass on to the anonymous mother of brand-new octuplets. This woman gave birth to eight infants. And - surprise - she already had six children at home under age 7.

Even without the six children already at home, multiple births such as this are nothing to celebrate. I think it is irresponsible of physicians to allow this to happen. Yes, it can be controlled, by not implanting more than a designated number of embryos - two? three? - during an IVF cycle.

It is so dangerous for the mother and the potential babies. Women end up on bed rest, their bodies overwhelmed with trying to sustain this many fetuses. The babies are cramped, competing for space and nutrients, and often the competition is detrimental for some of the fetuses, with some taking over. The mother is on medication to delay preterm labor, and she is faced with possible organ failure (kidneys are overtaxed), heart problems, and high blood pressure.

And this is in a best-case scenario. You hear about the success cases, but you do not read about all the failed multiple pregnancies.

Women are always offered the chance to reduce the number of fetuses they are carrying. Some women refuse, likely because they are troubled by the idea of "aborting" any of their babies. But as one medical ethicist put it, this is not like abortion, as the outcome here is not terminating a pregnancy, but guaranteeing a healthy birth for the mother and any other babies. As one woman put it, after several miscarriages, she knew she had the option of carrying two or three babies to term or none - the six or seven in her would never be born.

Bobbie McCaughey, the mother of septuplets in Iowa, said she could not reduce her fetuses because it was "God's will" they be born. So, she was willing to accept medical intervention to get pregnant, but suddenly it was up to God? Maybe God didn't want her to get pregnant in the first place - you can't pick and choose when divine intervention is appropriate and when medical science takes over.

Typically, these children are born with multiple health issues. They are already premature, requiring neonatal care and a team of physicians; they must remain in the hospital for weeks, and they often have health problems throughout their lives, and learning disabilities. Not always, but often.

And who pays for this? Who paid for the team of 46 health care providers who helped deliver those babies? Who will care for them as infants, when the mother is overloaded (she already has six other children)? Who pays for the diapers, the formula? Will she expect corporate donors to kick in?

And what kind of physician allowed fertility treatments for a woman with six children? Fertility does not appear to have been an issue in the past.

I find this entire scenario beyond troubling. Medicine has done great things for people, and I certainly respect that some women are able to have families that they might not have been able to have years ago. But we need some limits and some responsibility.

One baby is a blessing. But at some point, it is possible to have too much of a good thing.