Dancing with the Stars

Or, as Conan O'Brien said it should be renamed, Dancing with People Whose Names Sound Vaguely Familiar. Tee hee hee.

I wanted to hate that Heather Mills from the very beginning. Who is she anyway, monkeying around with Sir Paul? Screwing him over? He's the cute Beatle! What could he possibly have done wrong? We all know she is entirely in the wrong. (Even though it was just stupid of him to get married without a prenup - what was he thinking? A man of his wealth? Bad move.) Still, I am a true Beatle fan, and the blame is all on her. I mean, he is Paul McCartney.

And she showed up last night, looking so uncomfortable. Her hair made her look ancient. And I didn't need the not-so-subtle vying for the sympathy vote - over and over. We get it, you're missing a leg. You're just a selfless champion for the disabled. Please.

(Gary was concerned that he might have to take the girls out of the room, to get away from my loathing ... then the girls wanted to know if I was going to vote against her. But she hadn't even danced yet, so that really didn't seem sporting.)

After all that ... her dance wasn't too bad. Sigh.

Fair is fair. She did OK. But the best were Joey Fatone and Apolo Anton Ono (Alison's favorite). I also liked Laila Ali, Ian Ziering (Steve Sanders - loved 90210). And I confess to a soft spot for Paulina P. - I'm just hoping to catch a glimpse of Rik Ocasek in the stands, I think. Plus she's very pretty, and my age.

Not a big fan of Billy Ray Cyrus, mullet man. And you should not be allowed to dance to your own song. He'll be the first to go, I predict. After that is anyone's guess. Though the NBA guy (I think) was sort of lame, and I was disappointed in Cliff Clavin. (Though he looks pretty good, other than the gut. And as you know it ain't over til it's over.)

I tried to vote, but all the phone circuits were busy. Too bad. And you can't really vote against someone, only for them. It would be hard to choose at this point.

Hardly wait to see what happens - is this what my life has come to? Dancing with the Has-Beens?

Silly. But fun.