OverAchieverville

I'm not above plagiarizing for a good cause.

The title of this post was borrowed ("stolen" is rife with ugly connotations) from Sarah's post, and it is apropos for today's ramblings, "In Which She Lets Off Steam in Describing A Fellow Suburbanite."

I've referred before to my favorite PTO mom, whom we shall refer to hereafter as PM (as in, Perfect Mother). As a disclaimer, I should say that she is probably a pleasant person. I never said she was mean or nasty or someone people don't like. She is loud and sort of overbearing, the kind of person who likes to be the center of attention. Thus she bugs me. But only a little.

Well, I was at her house recently. In order to protect the innocent, I am not going to reveal the circumstances. Suffice it to say, I was there.

And it is huge. I mean gi-nor-mous. Obnoxiously big.

True enough, we live in the same subdivision. But there are variances in the sections. One area has what are referred to as "cottages," another area has patio homes, yet another is the gated, estate section, where the homes start at half a mill.

I think the houses in my area (Section 26 of the 1200-acre, 2900-house neighborbood, for those who are keeping up) are big enough. They start around 3000 sf; we have around 4100, and ours is not the biggest around here by far. Yet with our three children and the dog, we feel quite comfortable.

But these people — PM and her family — have taken big to a whole new level. Their ceilings are higher, the rooms are more palatial, the backyard is like a football field (complete with tennis court ... and room for another one ...). A 14-seat mini-theater upstairs is decked out with a huge screen and leather recliners on graduated platforms. Lots of little extra rooms line the corridors — rooms that are so small as to have no apparent purpose, other than yet another opportunity to use designer paint colors and decorator touches.

Not that any of this is really that big a deal; I guess I just need to have a nemesis. Lots of time on my hands these days, you know.

But the plot thickens ... the other day Maddie had a friend over. They were discussing an issue that had occurred at lunch when her friend, L, mentioned a classmate and Maddie said, "You know PD?" (Perfect Daughter, of course.) Not the girls' favorite person, as they — unprompted by me — described her as spoiled. According to these girls, PD has been known to say, "You know, my house is so big I get lost in it."

Rearing children with lots of money and privilege is not inherently evil. Rearing children without grace or humility is. If I ever found out one of my children were using what they perceived as our supposed wealth or status to intimidate or humiliate others I would be very disappointed.

Despite what I've written here, I don't have it in for PM. I used to be sort of amused and entertained. Now I catch myself thinking that something must be up; no one's life is that perfect. And judging by the behavior of her daughter, it isn't; well-adjusted children do not feel a need to make others feel inferior by brandishing about the fact that they have more than others.

Life in OverAchieverville. It takes all kinds. Thus it remains my job to keep my kids grounded. They need to be reminded that there will always be families with more than we have and with less than we have. They need to conduct themselves in an appropriate manner when they are around any other people, regardless of where they live, what school they attend, or what social circumstances they inhabit. In short, they need to live their lives with class.

And that is something money can't buy.