Stage Fright

I spoke in church today. I did it because a) a friend asked me to, b) it was a topic that interested me, and c) I sort of kid myself into thinking I should learn to be a good speaker, so I should do this more often.

In fact, at one point this morning I was thinking maybe, maybe just maybe, I would even consider joining the worship committee (the committee that helps with services when the minister is not there).

I should back up. I love my church - really love it. The denomination stands for everything I believe in, and we UUs are a fun bunch. I really like the people there - my women friends from church are amazing. I am always amazed when I look at the older women who attend - when I see them, I do not see little old lady types, but a group of strong women who are smart and very together. No blue perms and frumpy house dresses - these are women who are on the ball, still making a difference in their community, in the world.

So today, I was ready. And, as I sat there waiting, the nerves hit. I got up there, and my delivery was OK, but I spoke way too fast. I knew it at the time, but I just couldn't manage to slow down. When I ended, it hit me: I was too fast.

I decided not to worry about it. But someone - very nicely - did point it out to me afterwards. I gave him the printout of my talk - he seemed interested. Then Gary warned me, Do not talk to M. He complained to Gary that I was too fast. And complained. And complained.

I avoided him. Not purposely, but I managed to not run into him.

Criticism. They were right, of course - I was too fast. But I take it waaay too personally. Now I'm rethinking the "let's join the worship committee" idea. I'll stick to listening and let others do the hard work. For now.