We were chatting this weekend - just general lunch time chat, about such things as Michelle Obama's arms and whether or not critics should be after her and her penchant for sleeveless dresses, even in February.
Which is when Maddie reminded me of a great quote from a favorite television show, Pushing Daisies (which, apparently, has met with an early demise - collateral damage from last year's writers' strike).
The quote: Where did I put that rat's ass I could give?
That program always made me giggle - very clever, very snappy writing. And that quote is just apropos sometimes. Because now, when it seems that I should get worked up over something trivial, I can remind myself and just not care.
As I've gotten older, I've learned a thing or two. About life. I've learned not to let little things get to me. If you do, you'll be consumed with angst. I like my husband's favorite quote, too: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss hit it right there - why bother worrying about what other people think?
I could concern myself with the fact that my husband and I do not use the same last name - won't people wonder whether or not we're married? Whether or not he is the father of our children? But I gave that up long ago - we know we're married; we know who the girls' father is. And anyone who matters knows. Why care what anyone else might possibly think, about someone who might have the wrong idea. It is their problem, not mine.
Which isn't to say I don't worry, but I save it for the stuff that matters - I worry plenty about my children (who else will?), and about my husband (I only have the one), about our life, our home, our finances, the choices we make regarding all of the above.
But as far as some of this other stuff? Such as, What will the neighbors think? or, Does he/she like me? I have learned to let all that go. Not that I didn't used to worry. But somehow, along the age of 40, I figured it out: If people don't like you (or, in this case, me) it's about them, not me.
And when I look at the people in my life that I consider friends - people in my neighborhood, my church, friends from high school and college - I am really surrounded by some great friends.
As for the rest of it? The small, nitpicky stuff? The keeping-up-with-the-neighbors? The kind of nonsense that surrounded me in the soulless suburbs of Houston?
Where did I put that rat's ass I could give? Because none of that matters a bit.
(And special thanks to Maddie for being clever enough to remember that bit of television philosophy.)
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2 comments:
Amen, sista! I realized I was a grown-up when I stopped worrying what my parents would think; it took me a long time to get there. Don't get me wrong--I would never do anything to make them ashamed of me! BTW, I love that quote, and am using it on the Order of Service next Sunday (picked it out about a week ago!).
It takes a while to get there, huh? Turning 40 was such a good thing.
I certainly hope you're using the Dr. Seuss quote, and not the rat's ass one. But hey, whichever works!
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