The Last of the School-Day Events

In stark contrast to the event at the middle school, I attended Sylvia's third-grade garden party Thursday morning. The third-graders run the Imagination Garden at the elementary school. It's a cute little garden, vegetables and flowers, and the kids work in it as part of their science curriculum.

So, Thursday morning the parents were invited to have a look, share some snacks, enjoy the garden with our children. The teacher in charge had put together a little Power Point presentation ... and it was delightful. She had beautiful photos of the garden - close-ups of the flowers, the vegetables, the insects - and lots of photos of the kids. All the kids. (I remember sitting through my school's Memories Assembly and feeling as if the photos were only of three people, and this did not feel that way at all.)

(And there were three of four nice ones of my daughter - but she hardly dominated. As there were several group photos, every kid was included. Plus the soundtrack was Raffi, and considering how much we looooved Raffi, once upon a time, it was just a feel-good moment.)

So Sylvia and I had a nice time. Then I went to the seventh-grade awards night at the middle school.

I remember Honor Day from my school. To be honest, I have a lot of issues with the stupid way my high school did things (no campaigning for student body elections, arbitrary rule enforcement, to name two). But Honor Day was done well. It was a dress-up day, a fairly formal occasion. All kids were treated equally - applause was held until every kid from that grade had walked across the stage; it was a very nice event, always run the same way, but always done nicely.

At our middle school, it's a bit looser. The kids do not have to dress up - and I'm just wondering, would it kill them to, on occasion, wear something other than jeans and flip-flops? My child refused to dress up. She looked nice, but she was not putting on a dress. The principal made jokes that I felt were inappropriate.

But the worst grievance? (Come on, you knew I'd have one!) The counselor, who read the awards, said: Please hold your applause until every student has been recognized. Fair enough - this event could drag out forever with personal cheering sections.

Except that, on occasion, the counselor encouraged individual applause. She would say, "Wow, what a long list," or "Now that deserves some applause." Nice way to diminish the accomplishments of other students. Or make it clear that some kids' awards are more important than others.

You know, just because a kid has an especially long list does not mean anything. For some kids, making all A's is not that challenging. And for others, just making the honor roll, or being recognizes in a single class, or doing well in a sport, for some kids that is a major accomplishment. By singling out just a few kids for "special" applause, it sends a clear message: Some kids are more valued than others.

This isn't about my child. She had a respectable list of awards - not the longest, by any means, but honors she, and we, are proud of. And she knows this. I am just bothered by the school's inability to see that playing favorites isn't right. They would encourage applause arbitrarily - other kids with lists that seemed just as long would not get the recognition.

But we're done - no use getting all worked up over it. I vented my frustration with a very nicely worded e-mail to the principal and counselor ... and got a snippy response from the principal. Which is fine. But at least she'll think about it for next year. (And I did not even mention the inappropriate jokes - wonder how she would have responded to that?)

*****

Took my daughter lunch from Chick-Fil-A today. It took me more than half an hour to make the trip. Traffic is awful here. Doesn't matter what time of day, what street, which day of the week. It is hellish.

Seven weeks. Not that I'm counting.

*****

We got our second market analysis for our house sale. And the numbers were amazing - we are totally jazzed. The price he quoted us was higher than we could have imagined, and it's what houses are actually selling for. We should be in good shape.

And we got some loan rates and ran numbers on what our remodeling budget will be for the new place. We should be able to do just what we want.

Bring on the old house restoration - I am ready!