Anxiety

It's been an anxious sort of day.

It started when I woke up this morning; it was around 4 a.m. I lay awake, worrying. Worrying about two bills that need to go in the mail. Worrying about a product rebate that needs to be posted. Worrying about some paperwork I need to return, about a deadline looming.

None of these tasks is insurmountable, really. None is undoable - once awake, none of these was even slightly stress-inducing. The bills went in the mail, item on deadline was sent off by noon, and the paperwork request was answered. So I lay awake, tossing and turning, for nothing it seems.

The psyche does strange things.

Having a lengthy to-do list is nothing new - when you're rearing three children, working - even part-time, even from home - own a house, have volunteer responsibiities, then you always have several items that aren't done. Always. I've been keeping a list of tasks since college. It's not something that ordinarily causes me to panic. Why last night was different, I don't know.

So today actually felt pretty good. I worked in the office all morning, got my project finished and sent off well before my deadline.

What is there to worry about, really? It all gets done, one way or another, on time, or a day late. And in the grand scheme of things, does it matter?

Little stuff. I'll save the worrying for bigger issues. I wonder who's on Stephen Colbert tonight .... that is worth worrying about.