First, the good

The weekend? A mix. Part of it was great - Saturday. Friday evening we just hung, ate our homemade pizza on the patio, then I read aloud to the girls. No television - nice night. Saturday morning Gary took Sylvia to her soccer game and I took Maddie to her first swim team practice. Came home, then went to soccer game No. 2 - they won - yay! Took Maddie to get a birthday gift for a party, then Gary and I went to the opera: Aida, at the Wortham Center.

In a word: Amazing. The music: Flawless. Sets: Amazing. Costumes: Fabulous. Dancers, acrobats. Sigh. The costumes comprised a dazzling color scheme - gold, green, orange, bright yellow, brilliant blues in cerulean, aquamarine. It was a stunning effect. I enjoyed every minute. Season tickets are tempting me .... but we are more than 30 minutes from downtown, and the effort of eight operas - more than one every two months - would take a toll on us. If you get tickets for Tuesdays, they are a steal, but a weeknight is so hard for us. When they were small I could just get a sitter and go. But now that they are older, someone has to be home. Homework, projects, computer, Tae Kwon Do, swimming, music lessons .... someday we'll do it. But not this year.

However, we may go to the symphony in a couple of weeks, as they are doing An American in Paris. Gershwin - be still my heart. I am a big fan of the early 20th century American composers: Berstein, Copland, and yes, Gershwin. Throw in Cole Porter and Irving Berlin, and I'm in heaven (and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak !).

Then came yesterday. We were to go to church, then to the International Fest. So we're all in the car, but Maddie, who went upstairs after she came home from her sleepover. Gary went up to get her, and she threw a fit: She wasn't going. Even after he told her to get in the car. The minutes tick by, and by the time I got up there to talk to her, we were going to be 10 minutes late to church. Which I hate. Plus I got a glance at the other girls' rooms, and no one had even made their bed. Keep in mind that is 11 a.m. by this point.

I was livid. I didn't stay mad at her too long - she's only 12 - but we did have a talk later (no festival). I made it clear that on weekends, especially when we're going to church, no one gets to opt out. Secondly, when a parent tells them to do something, they are to do it. No arguing. (I tested this twice later, when Maddie asked for ice cream and her dad said no, and when she asked to use the computer and I said no.) I felt as if my weekend had been hijacked - we hung around Sunday, did some laundry, did a little reading. But that wasn't the plan. I am not taking a second car into the city, and I am not going to make a second trip in (Maddie calmed down and said maybe we could go later - no way. It's too far, too much gas, too much waste).

All in all, everyone settled down and the day was OK. But those girls need to learn to do what they're told. And that our family is not, sadly, always a democracy. I like being a fun parent, and giving my children lots of say, but I would never have dared talk back to my parents the way my girls do. It must change.