Ten hours in the car

Can make you want to kill your children.

We were up at the crack of dawn - after being up til midnight - and the girls' rooms were disasters. I thought I had made it clear that rooms were to be clean before we left. Who knows - maybe I hear those words in my head and don't articulate the thoughts. I was stunned at the amount of disorder upstairs. So we left an hour later than planned, but the rooms are in better shape. (Something has to change in the coming months ... but that's another post.)

We'd been on the road less than two hours before we heard complaints: I'm hungry. Can we watch a movie? At 11 we gave in, let them watch a movie. Stopped for lunch, then were back in the car.

And the fighting started. Keep in mind that we are driving in pouring torrential rain, and all I hear from the backseat is: She moved my seat up! But she moved it back. But I don't have any leg room. But I can't close the cooler.

Andonandonandon. Good golly. One of these two has the ENTIRE back seat of the van - three seats - to herself. And they are fighting over one lousy inch.

I finally told them I had had enough. Enough! One daughter was mad enough at me for laying down the law that she refused to speak to me til we hit the hotel. I can live with that - hey, it was quieter.

This reminds me of my own family vacations, where we fought in the back seat (in a car that was a whole lot smaller and less comfortable than ours - good grief, our van has every option under the sun) and my dad threatened to pull the car over. He never actually did, but the sight of that arm coming over the front seat was enough to scare us straight. We had no radio (those AM jobs didn't pick up much on the highway), and I'm not sure if we always had AC. (Though we did have the stench of my dad's cigarettes ...)

Just outside Memphis we hit some sort of accident and the Interstate was closed. So, after waiting awhile, assessing the situation, we (the administrative we, that is) riskily maneuvered the car around and headed back the way we came. This is where the Navigation system pays for itself, as it re-routed us and - at last! - we are settled into the Homewood Suites, complete with complimentary Internet access. (The last hotel where I stayed was in Europe, where nothing is free, and the Internet costs a pretty pfennig.)

Our room sort of smells funny. But it's OK. Because tomorrow we see Graceland. The Mississippi delta is shining like a national guitar. For reasons I can't explain, there's some part of me that wants to see Graceland. We all will be received in Graceland