Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Criticism

A couple of years ago, I wrote a blog entry on my other blog site that was featured. I didn't realize it was until I started getting comments. I usually get a few for every entry, from my little circle of readers. But for this one, I got hundreds. Literally - I think I got over 400 comments.

Many people agreed with me. And some didn't. Really didn't. Some disagreed with me in a very respectful way - and we became "friends" - others called me judgmental and other names I won't repeat.

Which is all OK. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. I wrote the entry in question (though if I had known it would have such a wide audience, I might have written it somewhat differently) but others had a very different viewpoint, and they were free to express that.

On this blog, I don't generate a ton of comments. (I also post very different entries - people I know in real life read this.) I also don't leave a lot of comments on blogs written by people I actually know. Partly because I tend to read them quickly and move on to something else, and also because unless they really strike me, I just don't feel that moved to share my opinion on someone else's writing. These are not professionals; they are not asking for my critique.

I'm ruminating on this because a blog I read sometimes mentioned getting snippy comments. Anonymous comments. And I'm wondering how I would feel about that. And how I would handle it. I have gotten the occasional odd comment here, from people I don't know. And you know what? They kind of sting.

I have tried to respond to their comments (this has really only happened a few times). I have not apologized, but I have acknowledged them and left a response. I have considered deleting them, but decided against it.

Their criticism is a little reminder to me that I need to think through what I say. I am, as we all are, entitled to my opinions. But I do need to make sure I have carefully thought about what I'm saying and need to be prepared to defend my opinions.

It has made me realize how tough it must be to write a national column. Anything you write will generate all sorts of comments - people will either like you or hate you, and they will not hesitate to let you know. Thus you make a lot of friends as well as a lot of enemies. And you have to develop a thick skin.

I'm not sure I'd be cut out for that. It's not personal, but it still can't be easy.

I confess, I have thought, a time or two, about leaving snippy comments on blogs. But I don't. I would have a hard time signing my name to something mean, and I am not going to leave unsigned messages. That just feels low and cowardly. At the newspaper, we always required letter writers to sign their name. Which makes me think twice before writing a letter to the editor - people will know I wrote it, so I had better be prepared to defend my stance.

This discourse is really a good thing. When people question you, or you know they may, you make certain you have facts to back up your assertions. You make sure to use logical arguments, that you have valid data on your side.

But with blogging? When it's a personal blog, where someone spouts off about their kids, their activities, their day-to-day life? My guess is, someone is still not going to like it. And may feel compelled to share that.

Criticism? Bring it on. I may not like it, but I think I can handle it. It's still my blog; these are still my opinions, nothing more. But maybe I'll learn something, even if it is just a little humility.

2 comments:

Tammy said...

Like you, I tend to read several blogs daily and don't leave comments. Sometimes it's because I'm in a hurry and sometimes it's because I really don't have anything to say. If I don't agree with someone I usually keep that to myself. I did receive a comment on a recent post about cosmetic surgery and the person seemed offended I would include LASIK in that category. I figure it's her opinion and didn't respond. I also think it's easy to assign a "feeling" to a response so I'm reluctant to react.

Blogging is tough because I know who reads my posts. I often don't talk about issues I'd like to discuss because it might be read by my mom or someone might misunderstand what I'm saying. I use my blog for fun. If I wanted to post something serious I'd have another blog just for that purpose.

I enjoy your posts and read them often even if I don't always comment. It makes me feel closer to you and your family. I really enjoy hearing about what the girls are doing.

Cindy said...

See, and it means so much more when you do comment because I know you don't feel as if you have to.

Blogging is tricky - wondering if you'll say something that upsets someone. In some ways I don't worry about it, but I can't say that I don't censor - I definitely do. But sometimes you have to say what's on your mind, and people need to learn to disagree - respectfully. Generally, I think a little dissent is a good thing.