Everything you wanted to know about Texas but were afraid to ask

Of all the things I knew about Texas before I moved here — and I did know a bit about the state that is number two in land mass and has more electoral votes than any other state I’ve ever lived in — there are a few that gave me pause, not limited to, but including …

• The Texas flag is allowed to fly at the same height as the U.S. flag — something about the fact that Texas was once its own nation.
• In the public schools, the kids say the pledge of allegiance to the United States and the Texas pledge.
• A full minute of silence follows said pledge(s).
• The Alamo is not just a tourist attraction.
• The bugs are giant.
• As are the houses.
• Not everyone speaks with an accent or even says “y’all”

And there’s all kinds of fun, freaky stuff about Houston, which probably applies to many major metropolitan areas — many of which I have had the opportunity to visit, but never inhabit as an official resident:

• You have to dial all 10 digits anytime you dial a phone number. No 1 before the area code, but area code included. Every single time.
• To enroll the kids in school when living in temporary housing (two weeks) while the house is under construction, a signed sales contract is not enough proof that one intends to dwell in said premises. It required a visit to the district office, a letter from the builder, many signed documents, and an oath signed in blood … well, maybe not that last one, but I’m sure it was next. Miraculously, they waived the tuition. We took in the closing statement, but we STILL have to take in our Texas drivers licenses and a utility bill. Even with the closing statement. Wow.
• Some freeway interchanges are six stories high. Not kidding. Terrifying,
• The morning news gives you the traffic update (“The 290 inbound is backed up all the way to Barker Cypress; to the inner loop is a 25 minute drive.”) And the evening news gives you the murder update. When do you get the weather closings?!?

When will I call this place home?