Pool Time

The pool is officially open.

The older two girls were gone, but Sylvia, Gary, and I went for the inaugural first dip. Though to be precise, I have to confess that only my toes got in - at 70 degrees, the water is a mite chilly for me.



Sylvia, however, jumped right in. She said she was freezing, but she loved it anyway.





I love summer!

Fame

I am wondering if America got it right.

American Idol, of course. I like Kris. I became a fan about halfway through the season, when I figured out who he was. He was a quiet contender, consistently solid. Then he pulled something out of his sleeve and became very impressive.

Yet I fully expected Adam to win. Adam has a charisma that is very unlike Kris's. He is a bit more boisterous, more theatrical. And there were weeks - several weeks - when Adam was clearly the best performer - the best by a mile.

And while I like Kris - and voted for him, because he was the underdog - I wonder if Adam might have been the better choice. I am concerned that a) people voted against Adam because the judges had virtually declared him the winner weeks ago and, more importantly b) there might have been a "Christian backlash" against Adam, for Kris, because of Kris's reputed ties with his church and concerns that Adam might be gay.

All that said, however, and America didn't lose either way. They are both talented, and Adam will go far, regardless of whether or not he won. Plus Adam and Kris are friends, which was obvious watching the finale. Which, by the way, was great (especially if you watched the recorded version - zipping through any boring parts). I loved seeing Adam with Kiss, and I really loved Adam and Kris with Queen singing We Are the Champions - what a moment. The two men really are friends, and it was fun to watch, knowing that either one of them would truly be a winner.

Champions, indeed.

*****

I am having a hard time giving a rat's ass about Jon and Kate.

To say I don't care sounds harsh. But I don't know them. And they are suddenly everywhere, those two with their marital problems and infidelity rumors. Which they are choosing to share with three million of their closest friends.

What I find most interesting about all this is her complaints about intrusion and how tough their life is. Yet they are the ones who invited the cameras in, who are using this television show and the exploitation of their family as a means of support.

You cannot invite the publicity in then complain that it is destroying your life - you can't have it both ways.

I don't watch the show and have no plans to. But it's hard to avoid the hype - it's everywhere I look.

Maybe those two need to turn off the cameras and lights (and yes, give up some of the cash), sit back, and figure out what is really best for their children.

Overheard

Bag boy at supermarket:

I watch Fox News - it's my favorite. And I watch it because it's the only news station that gives both sides of the story. All those other channels, they just talk about how great Barack Obama is. I watch Fox so I can hear both sides.


Saying you watch Fox News is fine - you have every right to choose your news source. But to suggest that they are, in fact, "fair and balanced" is to be naive. I am a big fan of MSNBC (Keith! Rachel!) but I do know they favor one side more than the other. And I'm OK with this because they do not pretend otherwise.

For people to watch Fox because they like the right-wing slant but to pretend the bias isn't there is disingenuous. At least admit what you're seeing.

Monday

Have you ever heard of anyone dumb enough to leave their contacts in all night? To just forget to take them out before going to bed?

How dumb must one be to completely space that? And have absolutely no idea that's why their eyes feel so strange in the morning, have no idea why they can't see?

Really, how stupid is that? I've been asking myself that question all day long.

*****

Sylvia was to have cleaned her bedroom yesterday. Went in at bedtime, and yikes! that room is a dis-as-ter. Crap everywhere. I asked her what was going on.

"It's an on-going process," she replied.

What a kid.

*****

Gale the contractor & friends are here tiling my back splash. I have a large group coming over for Mah Jongg later today. Let's hope these two activities do not collide.

*****

Many thoughts racing through my head, but no time to collect them. Instead, must start washing machine, must run some errands. Sigh.

Stuff That Bugs Me*

Stuff that bugs me? People who make up names for their family on their blog. They call their kids stuff like "Princess Zoot" or "Raspberry" or "Scudder." The spouse they call "Big Mama" or "The Wife" or "King Wa."

Feels contrived. You're writing about your family on the Interwebs. You really think that by giving them pseudonyms you're protecting their privacy?

(*Not a comprehensive list by any means - stay tuned ....)

American Idol: The Final Two

America, you got it right.

When Season Eight of American Idol started, my girls and I picked our favorites. We watched every minute of those auditions, seeing if we could pick out the winner.

We liked Danny and Jamar (and were so disappointed when Jamar didn't make it on the show); we liked Lil and Anoop and a few others that I can't even remember.

And when they named the top 36, I didn't even notice that kid named Kris Allen. I thought he was a total throw away, assumed each of those early weeks that he would go soon.

Then I started to listen to him.

When he did that James Taylor song early on, I took notice. Then he sang "Ain't No Sunshine," and I was firmly in the Kris camp. And that rendition of "She Works Hard For the Money" turned me completely around - this guy has some serious talent.

Did you hear what he did with "Heartless"? I didn't know the original, but I've gone back and listened and Randy was right - this is so much better than the original. Every week this guy blows me away.

Kris rocks.

Which isn't to say I don't like Danny and Adam. Danny is OK, but his schtick was sort of the same week after week - not risky, not that interesting, what with his drunken-frat-boy-at-ex-girlfriend's-wedding dance moves.

And Adam is good, no doubt. He has mad charisma (oh my god, I'm channeling Randy now ... ) and sings the hell out of everything. So he will be tough to beat - with good reason. For my money, though, I think Kris has more real talent.

It's a different type of talent, that's for sure - but one singer can't satisfy all of us. Adam may, in fact, encapsulate more of what people want in their American Idol. Which is OK by me - he's a talented guy.

But for me, it's all about Kris. He came out of nowhere and captured our attention. Whether he gets the title of American Idol or not, he's a winner.

Let's see how fast I can text in my votes next week.

My day could have sucked so much more

It's a lovely crowd you see at the courthouse first thing in the morning.

But what can I say - I was part of that crowd.

I confess: I was there to pay a traffic ticket. Not one of my proudest moments. But you suck it up and do what you have to do, huh?

I tried, in vain, to avoid this trip. I read the ticket (OK, two tickets - but it could have been three) carefully, trying to figure out if I could just go in. Because the computer was not working, the tickets were hand-written (!) and hard to decipher. All I could read for certain was that 8.30 a.m. court date.

I even went online to try to pay. It appeared to be working, then timed out. When I went back, the option for online payment had disappeared. So I figured I had to go appear in traffic court.

So I did it. The ATM ran out of cash, so I was worried that I would run into problems paying. I was panicky - I could only find a 20-minute parking space, and the last thing I wanted was another ticket - and nervous (this was so embarrassing). And I felt so out of place in line - in ordinary jeans, I was dressed nicer than almost anyone there - I say almost because I thought I saw two prosecutors talking together, then realized the one woman was, like me, guilty of traffic violations (maybe just one in her case). "Appearing in court" actually seems to mean standing in line, chatting with the prosecutor, then being directed to a cashier.

So I went in to pay, with much chagrin (as if the cashiers really care), and to my surprise and delight, it said my online payment had gone through. I don't have to go to driving school. I could have been spared my humiliating trip downtown. And the whole thing took only 20 minutes, thus no ticket on my car. And, to top things off, when I got home, there was a message that my cabinet doors were ready at the glass place.

So, all in all, it could have been so much worse. Let's just hope it's a scene I don't have to revisit for a long, long time.

Happy Mothers Day

On Mothers Day, my girls (with a little help from their dad) make a big deal of properly fêteing me. This year, for example, they made me waffles for breakfast, took me to brunch after church, showered me with gifts (small ones, but gifts, no less), took a long walk downtown with me after lunch (to check out the new city art project), and let me lie on the couch and read while they unloaded the dishwasher and tidied the kitchen.

It does not get better than that.

But this year, I am thinking of my own mother and all I learned from her. Because clearly, had it not been for her example, I would be no kind of mother myself.

Years ago, in a book group, I read The Kitchen God's Wife by Amy Tan. The discussion that evening turned to what we didn't know about our mothers. In the novel, the protagonist's mother had a whole life in China of which her daughter was completely unaware. The hostess told a story about an event in her own mother's life that she only learned of through another relative. And it made us all think about how our mothers were full and complete women before they ever became parents.

Sometimes, that's hard to see - and not only as children, but as adults. We see our mothers as existing solely for us. We don't think about their needs, their desires, their dashed dreams. When we're small they don't even have names of their own (her name is Mommmy), much less ambitions or plans that don't involve us.

My parents were young parents - not uncommon at all for the early 1960s. They were married in their early 20s and had a newborn by their first anniversary. I am the second born, and even the third child was born while they were still in their grad student days - my dad was working on his doctorate at the University of Nebraska, they lived in married student housing, and my mother worked. Sounds hard, but they've both commented that those were happy times. And why not - they were surrounded by friends their own age, all in the same circumstances. Rather than complain about what they lacked, they celebrated it.

My mother followed my dad in his career - once again, not uncommon. She took care of us, but she also worked. She stayed home for a time after my youngest brother was born, and then, when he was about 2, she decided to go back to school to finish her degree. She hadn't finished when she was younger - once again, not uncommon. So when I started fourth grade, she, too, went back to school.

Mostly what I remember about those days is how unremarkable they were. Meaning, my life did not change a lot. She was a full-time student, but our lives were affected very little. She still seemed to do all the housework (I don't recall my dad helping out that much), did the shopping, the laundry, and cooked dinner every night (not a lot of eating out was going on). She had some night classes, yet I was still driven to piano lessons and girl scouts; my brothers had basketball practice and play dates.

Though I do remember her studying, spending hours reading and typing up her class notes in the office she had set up in the corner of her bedroom.

She even had time to help out at school - at my fourth grade class Christmas party, she was there, serving cookies and punch, handing out the favors - snowmen made of marshmallows, wearing tiny top hats, that I know she made. Thirty of them.

She made mostly A's. She finished her degree a few years later, graduating with honors.

I could share hundreds, thousands of anecdotes about the kind of mother she was. Some would portray her in a flattering light; some ... well, not so much. Like most parents, she wasn't perfect. But who among us is? We all have to figure out how to handle this job without any experience. We go on what our mothers taught us, be it good or bad, even when the children we get are so varied, and the times in which we live are ever changing.

She taught me, along with how to deal with my own children (results still pending on tha one), how to be a daughter, as I watched her deal with her aging parents. This is a task she did mostly alone, as both her parents were ill at the same time and she is an only child. She handled it by herself, watching four children while my dad finished up a year overseas. And if she complained, I never heard it.

She was my go-to person when I needed a paper typed. She was not always patient with me, but I think she tried. And when I can catch her in the right mood, she shares stories of when she was not always such a well-behaved child herself - stories that make me smile and do help me fill in the blanks as to what kind of person she really is.

But my very favorite thing about her? What I remember the most? It's when I left a book I was reading on the coffee table. It was a novel based on a movie I had seen. The story was not bad, really, but the novel did contain several very graphic sex scenes. I had left it on the table, and my mother read it. When she was done, she told me she had liked the story, found it very interesting. There were some scenes she didn't think were necessary, but in general it was good.

I could have been mortified that she knew I had read that. Instead, the message I got was that I never had to hide what I was reading. I never had to worry that I would be reprimanded, that I would get in trouble. She talked to me, let me know she had read it, too, and that it was OK. It's a message I never forgot, and one I've passed on to my own daughters.



I love this photo - my mother is on the left, then my dad, then me, my Grandma Dorothy, and my brother John. My mom is hard to see - the old photo is so faded after all these years. She isn't in a lot of our family photos - she always hated having her picture taken. But in this one, she is smiling. It doesn't show up well in this image, but in the original it is clear. Childhood, for most of us, isn't perfect. But it's reassuring to look back all these years later and be able to remember it this way - like the image in a faded photo, where all the disappointments have faded away, and only the happier memories remain.

Which is how I like to look back on the example my mother set for me, now a parent myself. I prefer to overlook the shortcomings and remember the positive things she taught me.

Happy Mothers Day, Mom.

Saturday

Today I took Sylvia shopping. Fun time - just the two of us.

Now I am painting Sylvia's room (well, at this moment I'm on a break). I am also listening to my book club book on CD. Icky stuff, all about Chinese foot binding. Shudder.

Then, later this evening, I am off to the Lesbian Garden Party with a group of very fun friends.

All in all, a great Saturday.

Spring

I've always loved the month of May.

I love the anticipation in the air - school is nearly out, the weather is getting warmer, the shorts and sandals begin to appear.

I was driving somewhere the other day, sun shining, car windows down, and I was reminded of this time of year when I was in high school, riding around with my friend Jami. She was getting ready to graduate; I was going to be in high school for two more years, but I vicariously enjoyed her senioritis.

College must have been fun, too, but I think I had way too much studying to enjoy the springtime. High school was ... well, it was another story. I don't remember feeling that stressed about school work.

This is what I remember about that spring:

Keine Angst

I wonder if I blog better when I an angst-ridden.

Which, these days, is not the case so much. Generally, life is good.

Oh sure, this could change in a split second. But for the most part, life is good. So I am lacking much to kvetch about.

*****

Zinn guys are here fixing my cabinets. I don't think it is their last trip.

Today they are moving the upper cabinet to the right of the stove, which was not lined up quite as I had envisioned it. But no matter, as they agreed to change it. They made my in-door spice racks bigger (the first one held 12 spices - not enough) and changed the shelves to accommodate more spice racks. Now they will need to make a piece to cover up the top of the dishwasher.

One more step on the road to a complete kitchen.

*****

John Edwards has profoundly disappointed me.

Need I say more? He's hardly the last man who will turn out to have behaved very badly. But I expected more from him. He is smart - especially on health care and needs of the lower/middle classes. He showed such promise.

And he threw it all away for what? A roll in the sack? His career is over.

He's not the first, not the last. But still, I am sad.

*****

I've been looking through the pool catalog - lots of fun toys for summer. The girls have mentioned a slide; not sure if we need to go quite that far, but it's worth consideration, anyway.

Summer, come faster!

This is my weekend?

I was up way, way too early for a Saturday.

But I had to get moving. We had a 4H cake decorating workshop bright and early. Then it was off toe ballet recital rehearsal.

Came home, did some laundry, went to Jeff High School antique show. (Bummer - didn't find anything that great.) Spent rest of afternoon tearing up living room carpet (aching back).

(And I'm now thinking of increasing my mandatory penalty for those who install carpet over hardwood floors.)

This evening will be spent at ballet recital. Gary and Alison will attend Maddie's concert - I went to the rehearsal last night, so I will have seen both. (Fun Friday night, huh?)

And as a late-night treat, we may go seem some friend of ours and their classic rock cover band. Good times; good times.

And there's the stuff I should be doing but am not

I have so much I should be doing. Could be doing. My to-do list is a mile long.

So today? I started to tear out the carpet on our steps. Which is, technically speaking, on my list. But it's a little further down than some of the other, more immediate stuff.

Yet I'm glad I started it. We live in this 100-plus-year-old house with a beautiful oak staircase. And someone, in around 1985, decided that a runner of ordinary taupe carpet would appropriately accent this staircase? Try fast-forwarding 20 years. The carpet is so ordinary, so dated. And filthy - stained (who has taupe carpet in a house with kids and pets?) and dusty beyond dusty - I'm sure it was anyway, and we've been tearing out plaster and putting in drywall.

Yuck.

Oh - and people who install carpet over hardwood floors or stairs should have to do hard time. Pulling out all those little staples and tacks is a bitch. And my pry bar mars or gouges the floors on occasion.

My kitchen counter tops were installed yesterday. When (if?) all the little details get dealt with, I'll post photos. I should snap a photo of the awful carpet (I only got two-thirds of the way up; the steps turn so that's where I quit).

The electricians were supposed to come when they got rained out this week. They've never made it - is someone trying to tell me they didn't get rained out? I am finding that hard to believe.

Lazy

I should be tackling my to-do list .... this is the best I've got. Lame.

1, What color is your toothbrush?
Not exactly sure - white/clear and some color

2, Name one person who made you smile today?
Sylvia. She makes me smile every day

3, What were you doing at 8 am today?
Sighing in my quiet house - the kids were all gone and the day was mine

4, What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
Reading the newspaper, drinking tea

5, What is your favorite candy bar?
Midnight Milky Way

6, Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yes - did a story on a stripper for the paper once

7, What is the last thing you said aloud?
Bye! - to Sylvia

8, What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Some sort of chocolate - Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie

9, What was the last thing you had to drink?
Tea

10, Do you like your wallet?
Yes. Birthday gift one year

11, What was the last thing you ate?
Bagel w/cream cheese. Hadn't had one forever

12, Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Over the weekend - shirt off sale rack and new sandals. Very cute

13, The last sporting event you watched?
Gary had the Masters on, but I wasn't really watching

14, What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
Kettle Corn

15, Who is the last person you sent a text message to?
Gary

16, Ever go camping?
Yes. But not for years. Hate it

17, Do you take vitamins daily?
Nope

18, Do you give to church/charity?
Yes

19, Do you have a tan?
In the summer time. I use sunscreen liberally, but we spend a lot of time in the pool

20, Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
Not necessarily. Like them both

21, Do you drink your soda with a straw?
Sometimes. Not at home. But I'm not drinking much pop these days

22, What did your last text message say?
Sent: Good news - I need some right now (after Gary texted me that the Audi is getting 24 mpg in the city
Received: The counters look great and the desk is very clear (he had just gotten home and was, apparently, impressed that I cleaned off my desk)

23, What are you doing tomorrow?
Running errands, house stuff, chaperoning a rehearsal for one of my daughters

25, Look to your left, what do you see?
My new kitchen counters through the doorway (sigh of happiness), bookcase filled with ... books

26, What color is your watch?
Gold/silver

27, What do you think of when you hear Australia?
John & Megs Phipps (friends of ours)

29, Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Rarely go.

30, What is your favorite number?
5 (Oh I've got 5 people in my family, and there's not a one of them I'd swap - from Sesame Street)

31, Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
Gary

32, Any plans today?
Errands, pull out old carpet? Maybe ....

33, How many states have you lived in?
Five

34, Biggest annoyance right now?
I'm feeling very Zen at the moment. But there are always some people that bug me. We'll go with that

35, Last song listened to
Feeling Good

36,Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Probably not - why would I need to?

37, Do you have a maid service clean your house?
While I'm not working, it's hard to justify

38, Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Summer: Sandals Winter: Boots

39, Are you jealous of anyone?
Nope. My life is good

40, Is anyone jealous of you?
I doubt it. Envious, maybe ....

41, Do you love anyone?
Husband, three daughters, parents, brothers, friends ... yes

42, Do any of your friends have children?
Of course

43, What do you usually do during the day?
Currently, supervise remodeling, answer questions for the contractor, house stuff, kid stuff, read, write ... the usual

44, Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
Hate is a strong word

45, Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
When I answer the phone

46, What color is your car?
The one I drive: Black The title with my name on it: Silver (but I generously let Gary drive it)

47, Do you like cats?
They're OK. I'd let the girls get one if Gary didn't have allergies

48, Are you thinking about someone right now?
Gary and his allergies, my girls and their desire for a kitty

49, Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Yes. Last time there was awful. I'll never go back

50, How did you get your worst scar?
Fell in the house when I was two, cracked my head open on a corner. Bunches of stitches in my head. I think physicians have better suture technology these days

Filibuster-proof Democrats?

Interesting. Though I've wondered about people whose political allegiances can be switched easily; on the other hand, moderate Democrats or Republicans do have a lot in common with the other party. And - though I'm sometimes skeptical - I suppose people can change.

I've always respected Arlen Specter; he has been extremely supportive of women's rights. Thus it's not really a huge surprise that he is switching to the Democratic party.

Specter intends to switch to Democratic Party
Posted: 12:04 PM ET
Specter announced Tuesday he was leaving the GOP.

WASHINGTON (CNN) – Veteran Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter intends to switch from the Republican to the Democratic Party Tuesday, multiple sources tell CNN.

A Specter party switch would give Democrats a filibuster-proof Senate majority of 60 seats if Al Franken holds his current lead in the disputed Minnesota Senate race.

Specter, a five-term Senate veteran, was expected to face a very tough primary challenge in 2010 from former Rep. Pat Toomey, who nearly defeated Specter in the Pennsylvania GOP Senate primary in 2004.

Numerous Republicans are very angry with Specter over his recent vote in support of President Barack Obama's $787 billion stimulus plan.

Specter was one of only three GOP senators who voted for the measure.

Pondering

Anyone have any idea how many cookies I ate over the weekend?

Yeah, me neither. This could explain a lot.

Tired (Or, where did my Sunday go?)

Long day today. Not my ideal Sunday.

Spent the entire day at church. Really - the entire day. Some of it was optional, theoretically, but given some volunteer responsibilities I have undertaken, I felt obligated. So, I attended the Sunday service - wanted to, as I like Fritz, who did the lay-led service. We then stayed for the monthly potluck (where I sat and signed up people for church directory photos). Then attended a two-hour meeting, a wrap-up of the
Appreciative Inquiry process from earlier this year (this is the meeting I felt obligated to attend, seeing as I am joining a very important committee in the next month).

This meeting ended at 2.30. But we stayed at church for another two and half hours, this time for Maddie's flute recital.

It was such a beautiful day - and we spent much of it inside, listening to discussions of church issues (and if you understood the make up of our church, you would understand why this is significant - though it all went well) and music.

The music was nice, but two hours? Sigh.

I'm beat. But we have to go hang shelves in Sylvia's room. This part of the administrative "we" will be supervising. And placing books back on said shelves when they are back in place.

Believe it or not, I'm ready for Monday.

Ouch. But Better.

I stubbed my toe yesterday afternoon.

And I do mean I stubbed it. But good. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not really in the routine of wearing sandals. Or if I'm just a klutz. But coming around the corner in my bathroom, I caught my left foot pinkie on the corner and Wow, but it hurts.

Maddie giggled because she could hear me and the interjections coming out of me - none of which, by the way, was a curse word. Score one for me, as those spew forth in situations where they are much less warranted than this, which hurt like a son of a gun. Which I actually did say. And which invoked Maddie's afore-mentioned giggles.

(Maddie's room is next to our bathroom. I shudder to think what else she hears that might make her giggle.)

I lay on the couch for a while, talked on the phone, iced my poor toe, finished Eclipse (the third in the Twilight series - I am plowing through those books painfully slowly - they are totally not doing it for me - even the sex/angst parts are not that fascinating), and successfully avoided taking Sylvia to Target to buy a birthday gift (nice husband).

Then, after an hour and a half on the sofa, I managed to pull myself together - we had no children last night, so we had to do something. I hobbled upstairs, got dressed, and Gary and I hit the bar at the Hour Time for a pre-show drink.

I love how the Hour Time has held fast to its traditions, not seeing the need to update their theme or redecorate. What worked in 1989 should be good enough 20 years later, that should be everyone's motto. And I enjoyed feeling as if I were sitting in a ship's hull.

Didn't affect the quality of the drinks or the service, I must say - my Flirtini was great, and our server was very friendly.

Then we headed off to Sunshine Cleaning, which I loved (and stayed awake through, even though it was the 9.45 showing and I'd had a drink). Movie was great - the combination of Amy Adams, Alan Arkin, Emily Blunt, bloody details, and foul language was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Liked Steve Zahn, too.

Everyone should love Amy Adams. And if you saw Junebug or Miss Pettigrew Lives for Day, you do. She is talented. And can drop an F-bomb when needed.

Today, my toe still hurts. I don't think it's broken - I'm thinking it would be throbbing with pain, and it's not quite that bad (though close). It is swollen and sort of purple in places. But if it were broken, what would they do for me? Give me pain meds and tape it? I think I'll live.

Though I'm thinking this might be a good day to sit outside and read.

L'chaim!

I did it.

I made my way up to the elliptical. On the way, I procrastinated. Just a little. I hung Sylvia's jacket in the closet (it was on the hall tree, and I'm thinking that place will be bare of jackets for some time now - yay!). I brushed my teeth (didn't want to work out with bad breath). I removed my six-day-old nail polish.

But I made it up there (our elliptical is in the third-floor game room). For 30 excruciating minutes.

Music on my iPod helps (also helps drown out the phone, which will invariably ring once I get one there, and I hate the distraction of wondering who needs or wants what from me at that moment). Today's music of choice, music that moved and inspired and motivated me: Broadway.

I need to remove the jazz - it's just not fast enough to make me work. Dave Edmunds never fails; other artists, depends on the song. But for some reason, the strains of Topol and Fiddler on the Roof were doing it for me today.

While on the elliptical (for those 30 unbearable minutes), I had some time to think. And what I thought of, in my daily exercise-induced haze (not the endorphins that others drone on about - there is no euphoria in my torture), was that I want my life to be like a musical.

That's right. I want to break into spontaneous song. And dance. And for others around to not only stare at me as if I am crazy, but to join in. And know all the words and harmonies.

I want to dance in the street, to grab passers-by and have them join me in song. I want the lyrics of my songs to answer, or at least ponder, the problems of the world - well, of today, anyway. I want glorious music to follow me as I walk away with a skip in my step.

But I live in the real world, so I know this isn't going to happen. I can, however, enjoy the music in the background of my mind, knowing that even if others can't hear it, I am dancing through life.

L'chaim - to life!

Struggle

I read a bunch of blogs. Some are funny; some are dull. But I ran across this the other day:

I would like to lose about ten pounds.

Problem: Food. It is delicious.

Another problem: Exercise. It is less fun than you might imagine.

Truer words were never spoken. Or written.

Which leads me to my dilemma. I really, really do not want to hit that elliptical right now. Really do not want to.

Which is my I'm headed up to do exactly that.

Sigh. The things I do for my health ... oh, screw that. The things I do for vanity.