From here to there and back

Pool Time

2009-05-24T07:12:00.000-07:00

The pool is officially open.

The older two girls were gone, but Sylvia, Gary, and I went for the inaugural first dip. Though to be precise, I have to confess that only my toes got in - at 70 degrees, the water is a mite chilly for me.

Sylvia, however, jumped right in. She said she was freezing, but she loved it anyway.

I love summer!

Fame

2009-05-21T12:16:00.000-07:00

I am wondering if America got it right.

American Idol, of course. I like Kris. I became a fan about halfway through the season, when I figured out who he was. He was a quiet contender, consistently solid. Then he pulled something out of his sleeve and became very impressive.

Yet I fully expected Adam to win. Adam has a charisma that is very unlike Kris's. He is a bit more boisterous, more theatrical. And there were weeks - several weeks - when Adam was clearly the best performer - the best by a mile.

And while I like Kris - and voted for him, because he was the underdog - I wonder if Adam might have been the better choice. I am concerned that a) people voted against Adam because the judges had virtually declared him the winner weeks ago and, more importantly b) there might have been a "Christian backlash" against Adam, for Kris, because of Kris's reputed ties with his church and concerns that Adam might be gay.

All that said, however, and America didn't lose either way. They are both talented, and Adam will go far, regardless of whether or not he won. Plus Adam and Kris are friends, which was obvious watching the finale. Which, by the way, was great (especially if you watched the recorded version - zipping through any boring parts). I loved seeing Adam with Kiss, and I really loved Adam and Kris with Queen singing We Are the Champions - what a moment. The two men really are friends, and it was fun to watch, knowing that either one of them would truly be a winner.

Champions, indeed.

*****

I am having a hard time giving a rat's ass about Jon and Kate.

To say I don't care sounds harsh. But I don't know them. And they are suddenly everywhere, those two with their marital problems and infidelity rumors. Which they are choosing to share with three million of their closest friends.

What I find most interesting about all this is her complaints about intrusion and how tough their life is. Yet they are the ones who invited the cameras in, who are using this television show and the exploitation of their family as a means of support.

You cannot invite the publicity in then complain that it is destroying your life - you can't have it both ways.

I don't watch the show and have no plans to. But it's hard to avoid the hype - it's everywhere I look.

Maybe those two need to turn off the cameras and lights (and yes, give up some of the cash), sit back, and figure out what is really best for their children.

Overheard

2009-05-18T12:06:00.000-07:00

Bag boy at supermarket:

I watch Fox News - it's my favorite. And I watch it because it's the only news station that gives both sides of the story. All those other channels, they just talk about how great Barack Obama is. I watch Fox so I can hear both sides.

Saying you watch Fox News is fine - you have every right to choose your news source. But to suggest that they are, in fact, "fair and balanced" is to be naive. I am a big fan of MSNBC (Keith! Rachel!) but I do know they favor one side more than the other. And I'm OK with this because they do not pretend otherwise.

For people to watch Fox because they like the right-wing slant but to pretend the bias isn't there is disingenuous. At least admit what you're seeing.

Monday

2009-05-18T10:22:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard of anyone dumb enough to leave their contacts in all night? To just forget to take them out before going to bed?

How dumb must one be to completely space that? And have absolutely no idea that's why their eyes feel so strange in the morning, have no idea why they can't see?

Really, how stupid is that? I've been asking myself that question all day long.

*****

Sylvia was to have cleaned her bedroom yesterday. Went in at bedtime, and yikes! that room is a dis-as-ter. Crap everywhere. I asked her what was going on.

"It's an on-going process," she replied.

What a kid.

*****

Gale the contractor & friends are here tiling my back splash. I have a large group coming over for Mah Jongg later today. Let's hope these two activities do not collide.

*****

Many thoughts racing through my head, but no time to collect them. Instead, must start washing machine, must run some errands. Sigh.

Stuff That Bugs Me*

2009-05-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

Stuff that bugs me? People who make up names for their family on their blog. They call their kids stuff like "Princess Zoot" or "Raspberry" or "Scudder." The spouse they call "Big Mama" or "The Wife" or "King Wa."

Feels contrived. You're writing about your family on the Interwebs. You really think that by giving them pseudonyms you're protecting their privacy?

(*Not a comprehensive list by any means - stay tuned ....)

American Idol: The Final Two

2009-05-14T07:28:00.001-07:00

America, you got it right.

When Season Eight of American Idol started, my girls and I picked our favorites. We watched every minute of those auditions, seeing if we could pick out the winner.

We liked Danny and Jamar (and were so disappointed when Jamar didn't make it on the show); we liked Lil and Anoop and a few others that I can't even remember.

And when they named the top 36, I didn't even notice that kid named Kris Allen. I thought he was a total throw away, assumed each of those early weeks that he would go soon.

Then I started to listen to him.

When he did that James Taylor song early on, I took notice. Then he sang "Ain't No Sunshine," and I was firmly in the Kris camp. And that rendition of "She Works Hard For the Money" turned me completely around - this guy has some serious talent.

Did you hear what he did with "Heartless"? I didn't know the original, but I've gone back and listened and Randy was right - this is so much better than the original. Every week this guy blows me away.

Kris rocks.

Which isn't to say I don't like Danny and Adam. Danny is OK, but his schtick was sort of the same week after week - not risky, not that interesting, what with his drunken-frat-boy-at-ex-girlfriend's-wedding dance moves.

And Adam is good, no doubt. He has mad charisma (oh my god, I'm channeling Randy now ... ) and sings the hell out of everything. So he will be tough to beat - with good reason. For my money, though, I think Kris has more real talent.

It's a different type of talent, that's for sure - but one singer can't satisfy all of us. Adam may, in fact, encapsulate more of what people want in their American Idol. Which is OK by me - he's a talented guy.

But for me, it's all about Kris. He came out of nowhere and captured our attention. Whether he gets the title of American Idol or not, he's a winner.

Let's see how fast I can text in my votes next week.

My day could have sucked so much more

2009-05-13T11:13:00.000-07:00

It's a lovely crowd you see at the courthouse first thing in the morning.

But what can I say - I was part of that crowd.

I confess: I was there to pay a traffic ticket. Not one of my proudest moments. But you suck it up and do what you have to do, huh?

I tried, in vain, to avoid this trip. I read the ticket (OK, two tickets - but it could have been three) carefully, trying to figure out if I could just go in. Because the computer was not working, the tickets were hand-written (!) and hard to decipher. All I could read for certain was that 8.30 a.m. court date.

I even went online to try to pay. It appeared to be working, then timed out. When I went back, the option for online payment had disappeared. So I figured I had to go appear in traffic court.

So I did it. The ATM ran out of cash, so I was worried that I would run into problems paying. I was panicky - I could only find a 20-minute parking space, and the last thing I wanted was another ticket - and nervous (this was so embarrassing). And I felt so out of place in line - in ordinary jeans, I was dressed nicer than almost anyone there - I say almost because I thought I saw two prosecutors talking together, then realized the one woman was, like me, guilty of traffic violations (maybe just one in her case). "Appearing in court" actually seems to mean standing in line, chatting with the prosecutor, then being directed to a cashier.

So I went in to pay, with much chagrin (as if the cashiers really care), and to my surprise and delight, it said my online payment had gone through. I don't have to go to driving school. I could have been spared my humiliating trip downtown. And the whole thing took only 20 minutes, thus no ticket on my car. And, to top things off, when I got home, there was a message that my cabinet doors were ready at the glass place.

So, all in all, it could have been so much worse. Let's just hope it's a scene I don't have to revisit for a long, long time.

Happy Mothers Day

2009-05-11T06:01:00.000-07:00

On Mothers Day, my girls (with a little help from their dad) make a big deal of properly fêteing me. This year, for example, they made me waffles for breakfast, took me to brunch after church, showered me with gifts (small ones, but gifts, no less), took a long walk downtown with me after lunch (to check out the new city art project), and let me lie on the couch and read while they unloaded the dishwasher and tidied the kitchen.

It does not get better than that.

But this year, I am thinking of my own mother and all I learned from her. Because clearly, had it not been for her example, I would be no kind of mother myself.

Years ago, in a book group, I read The Kitchen God's Wife by Amy Tan. The discussion that evening turned to what we didn't know about our mothers. In the novel, the protagonist's mother had a whole life in China of which her daughter was completely unaware. The hostess told a story about an event in her own mother's life that she only learned of through another relative. And it made us all think about how our mothers were full and complete women before they ever became parents.

Sometimes, that's hard to see - and not only as children, but as adults. We see our mothers as existing solely for us. We don't think about their needs, their desires, their dashed dreams. When we're small they don't even have names of their own (her name is Mommmy), much less ambitions or plans that don't involve us.

My parents were young parents - not uncommon at all for the early 1960s. They were married in their early 20s and had a newborn by their first anniversary. I am the second born, and even the third child was born while they were still in their grad student days - my dad was working on his doctorate at the University of Nebraska, they lived in married student housing, and my mother worked. Sounds hard, but they've both commented that those were happy times. And why not - they were surrounded by friends their own age, all in the same circumstances. Rather than complain about what they lacked, they celebrated it.

My mother followed my dad in his career - once again, not uncommon. She took care of us, but she also worked. She stayed home for a time after my youngest brother was born, and then, when he was about 2, she decided to go back to school to finish her degree. She hadn't finished when she was younger - once again, not uncommon. So when I started fourth grade, she, too, went back to school.

Mostly what I remember about those days is how unremarkable they were. Meaning, my life did not change a lot. She was a full-time student, but our lives were affected very little. She still seemed to do all the housework (I don't recall my dad helping out that much), did the shopping, the laundry, and cooked dinner every night (not a lot of eating out was going on). She had some night classes, yet I was still driven to piano lessons and girl scouts; my brothers had basketball practice and play dates.

Though I do remember her studying, spending hours reading and typing up her class notes in the office she had set up in the corner of her bedroom.

She even had time to help out at school - at my fourth grade class Christmas party, she was there, serving cookies and punch, handing out the favors - snowmen made of marshmallows, wearing tiny top hats, that I know she made. Thirty of them.

She made mostly A's. She finished her degree a few years later, graduating with honors.

I could share hundreds, thousands of anecdotes about the kind of mother she was. Some would portray her in a flattering light; some ... well, not so much. Like most parents, she wasn't perfect. But who among us is? We all have to figure out how to handle this job without any experience. We go on what our mothers taught us, be it good or bad, even when the children we get are so varied, and the times in which we live are ever changing.

She taught me, along with how to deal with my own children (results still pending on tha one), how to be a daughter, as I watched her deal with her aging parents. This is a task she did mostly alone, as both her parents were ill at the same time and she is an only child. She handled it by herself, watching four children while my dad finished up a year overseas. And if she complained, I never heard it.

She was my go-to person when I needed a paper typed. She was not always patient with me, but I think she tried. And when I can catch her in the right mood, she shares stories of when she was not always such a well-behaved child herself - stories that make me smile and do help me fill in the blanks as to what kind of person she really is.

But my very favorite thing about her? What I remember the most? It's when I left a book I was reading on the coffee table. It was a novel based on a movie I had seen. The story was not bad, really, but the novel did contain several very graphic sex scenes. I had left it on the table, and my mother read it. When she was done, she told me she had liked the story, found it very interesting. There were some scenes she didn't think were necessary, but in general it was good.

I could have been mortified that she knew I had read that. Instead, the message I got was that I never had to hide what I was reading. I never had to worry that I would be reprimanded, that I would get in trouble. She talked to me, let me know she had read it, too, and that it was OK. It's a message I never forgot, and one I've passed on to my own daughters.

I love this photo - my mother is on the left, then my dad, then me, my Grandma Dorothy, and my brother John. My mom is hard to see - the old photo is so faded after all these years. She isn't in a lot of our family photos - she always hated having her picture taken. But in this one, she is smiling. It doesn't show up well in this image, but in the original it is clear. Childhood, for most of us, isn't perfect. But it's reassuring to look back all these years later and be able to remember it this way - like the image in a faded photo, where all the disappointments have faded away, and only the happier memories remain.

Which is how I like to look back on the example my mother set for me, now a parent myself. I prefer to overlook the shortcomings and remember the positive things she taught me.

Happy Mothers Day, Mom.

Saturday

2009-05-09T14:32:00.001-07:00

Today I took Sylvia shopping. Fun time - just the two of us.

Now I am painting Sylvia's room (well, at this moment I'm on a break). I am also listening to my book club book on CD. Icky stuff, all about Chinese foot binding. Shudder.

Then, later this evening, I am off to the Lesbian Garden Party with a group of very fun friends.

All in all, a great Saturday.

Spring

2009-05-07T07:37:00.001-07:00

I've always loved the month of May.

I love the anticipation in the air - school is nearly out, the weather is getting warmer, the shorts and sandals begin to appear.

I was driving somewhere the other day, sun shining, car windows down, and I was reminded of this time of year when I was in high school, riding around with my friend Jami. She was getting ready to graduate; I was going to be in high school for two more years, but I vicariously enjoyed her senioritis.

College must have been fun, too, but I think I had way too much studying to enjoy the springtime. High school was ... well, it was another story. I don't remember feeling that stressed about school work.

This is what I remember about that spring:

Keine Angst

2009-05-06T08:08:00.001-07:00

I wonder if I blog better when I an angst-ridden.

Which, these days, is not the case so much. Generally, life is good.

Oh sure, this could change in a split second. But for the most part, life is good. So I am lacking much to kvetch about.

*****

Zinn guys are here fixing my cabinets. I don't think it is their last trip.

Today they are moving the upper cabinet to the right of the stove, which was not lined up quite as I had envisioned it. But no matter, as they agreed to change it. They made my in-door spice racks bigger (the first one held 12 spices - not enough) and changed the shelves to accommodate more spice racks. Now they will need to make a piece to cover up the top of the dishwasher.

One more step on the road to a complete kitchen.

*****

John Edwards has profoundly disappointed me.

Need I say more? He's hardly the last man who will turn out to have behaved very badly. But I expected more from him. He is smart - especially on health care and needs of the lower/middle classes. He showed such promise.

And he threw it all away for what? A roll in the sack? His career is over.

He's not the first, not the last. But still, I am sad.

*****

I've been looking through the pool catalog - lots of fun toys for summer. The girls have mentioned a slide; not sure if we need to go quite that far, but it's worth consideration, anyway.

Summer, come faster!

This is my weekend?

2009-05-02T14:12:00.000-07:00

I was up way, way too early for a Saturday.

But I had to get moving. We had a 4H cake decorating workshop bright and early. Then it was off toe ballet recital rehearsal.

Came home, did some laundry, went to Jeff High School antique show. (Bummer - didn't find anything that great.) Spent rest of afternoon tearing up living room carpet (aching back).

(And I'm now thinking of increasing my mandatory penalty for those who install carpet over hardwood floors.)

This evening will be spent at ballet recital. Gary and Alison will attend Maddie's concert - I went to the rehearsal last night, so I will have seen both. (Fun Friday night, huh?)

And as a late-night treat, we may go seem some friend of ours and their classic rock cover band. Good times; good times.

And there's the stuff I should be doing but am not

2009-04-30T18:49:00.000-07:00

I have so much I should be doing. Could be doing. My to-do list is a mile long.

So today? I started to tear out the carpet on our steps. Which is, technically speaking, on my list. But it's a little further down than some of the other, more immediate stuff.

Yet I'm glad I started it. We live in this 100-plus-year-old house with a beautiful oak staircase. And someone, in around 1985, decided that a runner of ordinary taupe carpet would appropriately accent this staircase? Try fast-forwarding 20 years. The carpet is so ordinary, so dated. And filthy - stained (who has taupe carpet in a house with kids and pets?) and dusty beyond dusty - I'm sure it was anyway, and we've been tearing out plaster and putting in drywall.

Yuck.

Oh - and people who install carpet over hardwood floors or stairs should have to do hard time. Pulling out all those little staples and tacks is a bitch. And my pry bar mars or gouges the floors on occasion.

My kitchen counter tops were installed yesterday. When (if?) all the little details get dealt with, I'll post photos. I should snap a photo of the awful carpet (I only got two-thirds of the way up; the steps turn so that's where I quit).

The electricians were supposed to come when they got rained out this week. They've never made it - is someone trying to tell me they didn't get rained out? I am finding that hard to believe.

Lazy

2009-04-30T07:29:00.000-07:00

I should be tackling my to-do list .... this is the best I've got. Lame.

1, What color is your toothbrush?
Not exactly sure - white/clear and some color

2, Name one person who made you smile today?
Sylvia. She makes me smile every day

3, What were you doing at 8 am today?
Sighing in my quiet house - the kids were all gone and the day was mine

4, What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
Reading the newspaper, drinking tea

5, What is your favorite candy bar?
Midnight Milky Way

6, Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yes - did a story on a stripper for the paper once

7, What is the last thing you said aloud?
Bye! - to Sylvia

8, What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Some sort of chocolate - Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie

9, What was the last thing you had to drink?
Tea

10, Do you like your wallet?
Yes. Birthday gift one year

11, What was the last thing you ate?
Bagel w/cream cheese. Hadn't had one forever

12, Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Over the weekend - shirt off sale rack and new sandals. Very cute

13, The last sporting event you watched?
Gary had the Masters on, but I wasn't really watching

14, What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
Kettle Corn

15, Who is the last person you sent a text message to?
Gary

16, Ever go camping?
Yes. But not for years. Hate it

17, Do you take vitamins daily?
Nope

18, Do you give to church/charity?
Yes

19, Do you have a tan?
In the summer time. I use sunscreen liberally, but we spend a lot of time in the pool

20, Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
Not necessarily. Like them both

21, Do you drink your soda with a straw?
Sometimes. Not at home. But I'm not drinking much pop these days

22, What did your last text message say?
Sent: Good news - I need some right now (after Gary texted me that the Audi is getting 24 mpg in the city
Received: The counters look great and the desk is very clear (he had just gotten home and was, apparently, impressed that I cleaned off my desk)

23, What are you doing tomorrow?
Running errands, house stuff, chaperoning a rehearsal for one of my daughters

25, Look to your left, what do you see?
My new kitchen counters through the doorway (sigh of happiness), bookcase filled with ... books

26, What color is your watch?
Gold/silver

27, What do you think of when you hear Australia?
John & Megs Phipps (friends of ours)

29, Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Rarely go.

30, What is your favorite number?
5 (Oh I've got 5 people in my family, and there's not a one of them I'd swap - from Sesame Street)

31, Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
Gary

32, Any plans today?
Errands, pull out old carpet? Maybe ....

33, How many states have you lived in?
Five

34, Biggest annoyance right now?
I'm feeling very Zen at the moment. But there are always some people that bug me. We'll go with that

35, Last song listened to
Feeling Good

36,Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Probably not - why would I need to?

37, Do you have a maid service clean your house?
While I'm not working, it's hard to justify

38, Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Summer: Sandals Winter: Boots

39, Are you jealous of anyone?
Nope. My life is good

40, Is anyone jealous of you?
I doubt it. Envious, maybe ....

41, Do you love anyone?
Husband, three daughters, parents, brothers, friends ... yes

42, Do any of your friends have children?
Of course

43, What do you usually do during the day?
Currently, supervise remodeling, answer questions for the contractor, house stuff, kid stuff, read, write ... the usual

44, Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
Hate is a strong word

45, Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
When I answer the phone

46, What color is your car?
The one I drive: Black The title with my name on it: Silver (but I generously let Gary drive it)

47, Do you like cats?
They're OK. I'd let the girls get one if Gary didn't have allergies

48, Are you thinking about someone right now?
Gary and his allergies, my girls and their desire for a kitty

49, Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Yes. Last time there was awful. I'll never go back

50, How did you get your worst scar?
Fell in the house when I was two, cracked my head open on a corner. Bunches of stitches in my head. I think physicians have better suture technology these days

Filibuster-proof Democrats?

2009-04-28T09:32:00.000-07:00

Interesting. Though I've wondered about people whose political allegiances can be switched easily; on the other hand, moderate Democrats or Republicans do have a lot in common with the other party. And - though I'm sometimes skeptical - I suppose people can change.

I've always respected Arlen Specter; he has been extremely supportive of women's rights. Thus it's not really a huge surprise that he is switching to the Democratic party.

Specter intends to switch to Democratic Party
Posted: 12:04 PM ET
Specter announced Tuesday he was leaving the GOP.

WASHINGTON (CNN) – Veteran Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter intends to switch from the Republican to the Democratic Party Tuesday, multiple sources tell CNN.

A Specter party switch would give Democrats a filibuster-proof Senate majority of 60 seats if Al Franken holds his current lead in the disputed Minnesota Senate race.

Specter, a five-term Senate veteran, was expected to face a very tough primary challenge in 2010 from former Rep. Pat Toomey, who nearly defeated Specter in the Pennsylvania GOP Senate primary in 2004.

Numerous Republicans are very angry with Specter over his recent vote in support of President Barack Obama's $787 billion stimulus plan.

Specter was one of only three GOP senators who voted for the measure.

Pondering

2009-04-27T07:44:00.001-07:00

Anyone have any idea how many cookies I ate over the weekend?

Yeah, me neither. This could explain a lot.

Tired (Or, where did my Sunday go?)

2009-04-26T16:30:00.001-07:00

Long day today. Not my ideal Sunday.

Spent the entire day at church. Really - the entire day. Some of it was optional, theoretically, but given some volunteer responsibilities I have undertaken, I felt obligated. So, I attended the Sunday service - wanted to, as I like Fritz, who did the lay-led service. We then stayed for the monthly potluck (where I sat and signed up people for church directory photos). Then attended a two-hour meeting, a wrap-up of the
Appreciative Inquiry process from earlier this year (this is the meeting I felt obligated to attend, seeing as I am joining a very important committee in the next month).

This meeting ended at 2.30. But we stayed at church for another two and half hours, this time for Maddie's flute recital.

It was such a beautiful day - and we spent much of it inside, listening to discussions of church issues (and if you understood the make up of our church, you would understand why this is significant - though it all went well) and music.

The music was nice, but two hours? Sigh.

I'm beat. But we have to go hang shelves in Sylvia's room. This part of the administrative "we" will be supervising. And placing books back on said shelves when they are back in place.

Believe it or not, I'm ready for Monday.

Ouch. But Better.

2009-04-25T07:42:00.000-07:00

I stubbed my toe yesterday afternoon.

And I do mean I stubbed it. But good. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not really in the routine of wearing sandals. Or if I'm just a klutz. But coming around the corner in my bathroom, I caught my left foot pinkie on the corner and Wow, but it hurts.

Maddie giggled because she could hear me and the interjections coming out of me - none of which, by the way, was a curse word. Score one for me, as those spew forth in situations where they are much less warranted than this, which hurt like a son of a gun. Which I actually did say. And which invoked Maddie's afore-mentioned giggles.

(Maddie's room is next to our bathroom. I shudder to think what else she hears that might make her giggle.)

I lay on the couch for a while, talked on the phone, iced my poor toe, finished Eclipse (the third in the Twilight series - I am plowing through those books painfully slowly - they are totally not doing it for me - even the sex/angst parts are not that fascinating), and successfully avoided taking Sylvia to Target to buy a birthday gift (nice husband).

Then, after an hour and a half on the sofa, I managed to pull myself together - we had no children last night, so we had to do something. I hobbled upstairs, got dressed, and Gary and I hit the bar at the Hour Time for a pre-show drink.

I love how the Hour Time has held fast to its traditions, not seeing the need to update their theme or redecorate. What worked in 1989 should be good enough 20 years later, that should be everyone's motto. And I enjoyed feeling as if I were sitting in a ship's hull.

Didn't affect the quality of the drinks or the service, I must say - my Flirtini was great, and our server was very friendly.

Then we headed off to Sunshine Cleaning, which I loved (and stayed awake through, even though it was the 9.45 showing and I'd had a drink). Movie was great - the combination of Amy Adams, Alan Arkin, Emily Blunt, bloody details, and foul language was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Liked Steve Zahn, too.

Everyone should love Amy Adams. And if you saw Junebug or Miss Pettigrew Lives for Day, you do. She is talented. And can drop an F-bomb when needed.

Today, my toe still hurts. I don't think it's broken - I'm thinking it would be throbbing with pain, and it's not quite that bad (though close). It is swollen and sort of purple in places. But if it were broken, what would they do for me? Give me pain meds and tape it? I think I'll live.

Though I'm thinking this might be a good day to sit outside and read.

L'chaim!

2009-04-24T08:06:00.000-07:00

I did it.

I made my way up to the elliptical. On the way, I procrastinated. Just a little. I hung Sylvia's jacket in the closet (it was on the hall tree, and I'm thinking that place will be bare of jackets for some time now - yay!). I brushed my teeth (didn't want to work out with bad breath). I removed my six-day-old nail polish.

But I made it up there (our elliptical is in the third-floor game room). For 30 excruciating minutes.

Music on my iPod helps (also helps drown out the phone, which will invariably ring once I get one there, and I hate the distraction of wondering who needs or wants what from me at that moment). Today's music of choice, music that moved and inspired and motivated me: Broadway.

I need to remove the jazz - it's just not fast enough to make me work. Dave Edmunds never fails; other artists, depends on the song. But for some reason, the strains of Topol and Fiddler on the Roof were doing it for me today.

While on the elliptical (for those 30 unbearable minutes), I had some time to think. And what I thought of, in my daily exercise-induced haze (not the endorphins that others drone on about - there is no euphoria in my torture), was that I want my life to be like a musical.

That's right. I want to break into spontaneous song. And dance. And for others around to not only stare at me as if I am crazy, but to join in. And know all the words and harmonies.

I want to dance in the street, to grab passers-by and have them join me in song. I want the lyrics of my songs to answer, or at least ponder, the problems of the world - well, of today, anyway. I want glorious music to follow me as I walk away with a skip in my step.

But I live in the real world, so I know this isn't going to happen. I can, however, enjoy the music in the background of my mind, knowing that even if others can't hear it, I am dancing through life.

L'chaim - to life!

Struggle

2009-04-24T05:57:00.000-07:00

I read a bunch of blogs. Some are funny; some are dull. But I ran across this the other day:

I would like to lose about ten pounds.

Problem: Food. It is delicious.

Another problem: Exercise. It is less fun than you might imagine.

Truer words were never spoken. Or written.

Which leads me to my dilemma. I really, really do not want to hit that elliptical right now. Really do not want to.

Which is my I'm headed up to do exactly that.

Sigh. The things I do for my health ... oh, screw that. The things I do for vanity.

The Elements of Style

2009-04-21T13:45:00.001-07:00

Happy 50th Birthday wishes to The Elements of Style, the little book that all grammarians hold dear.

EB White, in 1959, took Williams Strunk's words of wisdom on grammar and usage and turned out this little gem. Strunk had been White's professor at Cornell University, but it wasn't until the mid-'50s that the book was brought back to White's attention. Thus he re-edited and re-released the book, which became a handbook for high school and college rhetoric students.

I am a big fan. But keep in mind that I am also a big fan of the Associated Press style book. Yes, I am a nerd. A nerd who finds reading about grammar and usage, about clarity and accuracy, the nuances of language, fascinating. Yes, you read that correctly: fascinating.

I enjoy the earlier sections of the book, where Strunk & White discuss Elementary Rules of Usage, such as "The number of the subject determines the number of the verb." I enjoy the reminders on how to make possessives or on punctuating appositives.

But my favorite section deals with Words and Expressions Commonly Misused. There are now entire Websites dedicated to such errata (and I frequent those as well), but the ones in this book are classic. How else does one remember when to use comprise as oppose to compose? Or the difference between nauseous and nauseated? The rule on when to use hopefully? fortuitous?

Ah, yes, antiquated language. But just as with any out-of-date book, value remains. Yes, there are now better books on grammar and usage; language has evolved over the last 50 years. Yet the basic tenets of good grammar remain the same. I'll always be looking for new tips on language. But I'll be keeping my Strunk & White on my desk - some things never go out of style.

Criticism

2009-04-21T04:52:00.000-07:00

A couple of years ago, I wrote a blog entry on my other blog site that was featured. I didn't realize it was until I started getting comments. I usually get a few for every entry, from my little circle of readers. But for this one, I got hundreds. Literally - I think I got over 400 comments.

Many people agreed with me. And some didn't. Really didn't. Some disagreed with me in a very respectful way - and we became "friends" - others called me judgmental and other names I won't repeat.

Which is all OK. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. I wrote the entry in question (though if I had known it would have such a wide audience, I might have written it somewhat differently) but others had a very different viewpoint, and they were free to express that.

On this blog, I don't generate a ton of comments. (I also post very different entries - people I know in real life read this.) I also don't leave a lot of comments on blogs written by people I actually know. Partly because I tend to read them quickly and move on to something else, and also because unless they really strike me, I just don't feel that moved to share my opinion on someone else's writing. These are not professionals; they are not asking for my critique.

I'm ruminating on this because a blog I read sometimes mentioned getting snippy comments. Anonymous comments. And I'm wondering how I would feel about that. And how I would handle it. I have gotten the occasional odd comment here, from people I don't know. And you know what? They kind of sting.

I have tried to respond to their comments (this has really only happened a few times). I have not apologized, but I have acknowledged them and left a response. I have considered deleting them, but decided against it.

Their criticism is a little reminder to me that I need to think through what I say. I am, as we all are, entitled to my opinions. But I do need to make sure I have carefully thought about what I'm saying and need to be prepared to defend my opinions.

It has made me realize how tough it must be to write a national column. Anything you write will generate all sorts of comments - people will either like you or hate you, and they will not hesitate to let you know. Thus you make a lot of friends as well as a lot of enemies. And you have to develop a thick skin.

I'm not sure I'd be cut out for that. It's not personal, but it still can't be easy.

I confess, I have thought, a time or two, about leaving snippy comments on blogs. But I don't. I would have a hard time signing my name to something mean, and I am not going to leave unsigned messages. That just feels low and cowardly. At the newspaper, we always required letter writers to sign their name. Which makes me think twice before writing a letter to the editor - people will know I wrote it, so I had better be prepared to defend my stance.

This discourse is really a good thing. When people question you, or you know they may, you make certain you have facts to back up your assertions. You make sure to use logical arguments, that you have valid data on your side.

But with blogging? When it's a personal blog, where someone spouts off about their kids, their activities, their day-to-day life? My guess is, someone is still not going to like it. And may feel compelled to share that.

Criticism? Bring it on. I may not like it, but I think I can handle it. It's still my blog; these are still my opinions, nothing more. But maybe I'll learn something, even if it is just a little humility.

Terrorism, right here at home

2009-04-20T12:29:00.000-07:00

It was ten years ago today that two teenage boys instigated what was then the biggest school shooting incident this country had ever seen. On April 20, 1999, we heard the news, saw the footage of the shootings at Columbine High School in suburban Denver.

We've talked of Columbine in the decade since then, pondering the lessons it taught us, worrying about our children, about the safety of our schools.

Yet as turns out, much of the lore surrounding that fateful day at Columbine is, in fact, not true. Journalist Dave Cullen recently released a book, Columbine, in which, through interviews with survivors, he debunks much of the myth surrounding the events of that day - myths about the perpetrators, the survivors, and what really went on in the school.

Among the myths - many of which continue to be spread:

• For example, many in the media initially reported that 17-year-old Cassie Bernall, a Christian, answered "yes" when asked if she believed in God and then was shot to death. She became a poster child for the Evangelical movement after her death. The incident was widely reported - in error. It was another student who, after she was shot, expressed her belief. She survived.

• The shooters, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, were not members of the "Trench Coat Mafia." The group was a non-violent student group, most of whose members had graduated, and to which Harris and Klebold never belonged.

• Harris and Klebold did not target certain groups of kids - Christians, African-Americans, jocks. They had not been bullied. They did not have a list of certain kids they meant to target.

• They did not even intend to start a school shooting, but instead wanted to bomb their school in what would be the biggest bombing after the Oklahoma City bombing of three years earlier.

• The date chosen was not because of the anniversary of Hitler's birth and did not have anything to do with their love of Nazi trivia.

• Both of the boys were not sociopaths. Harris likely was, meeting nine of ten characteristics. But Klebold was depressed, lonely, and suicidal - not psychopathic.

• The attack was not spurred on by Harris's rejection by the Marine Corps.

The incident was a tragedy; these incidents make me wonder - though not every day - if my children are safe in their schools, if there is something we should be doing, as a society, to help prevent these occurrences.

But it should be remembered for what it was, not steeped in a fiction it can't live up to.

Today, I was struck by the file photo of the woman who was reunited with her daughter - I could see the relief in her eyes as they embraced, as she no longer had to worry about the fate of her child, as she did not have to face that unspeakable grief. I feel for all those parents who lost their children that day. And for me, that includes the parents of the shooters. No matter what they did - or didn't - do, they did not condone those actions. And they, too, are victims; they lost their children, too.

Here's hoping we never see a repeat of that dark day.

50 Things

2009-04-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

I have so much I ought to be doing ...

1. If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
We've had that taken care of, so there would be a lot of questions.
2. Do you trust all of your friends?
Yes. They have proven to me time and again why I should.
3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
I have. And yes, I would do it again.
4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
No. The murder of an 8-year-old by a neighbor is proof of that.
5. Can you make a dollar in change right now?
I think I could - I tend to carry a lot of change with me.
6. Which one of your Facebook friends do you think would make the best doctor?
Hmmm ... probably the ones that already are physicians.
7. Are you afraid of falling in love?
Too late. And no.
8. Ummmm ... there's no #8 here. Hmmm.
9. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
Of course. Mostly people from my past.
10. What's your most favourite scar?
It used to be the one on my forehead, but it has faded over time.
11. What was the longest flight you were on?
One of those flights to Germany. Or Moscow.
12. What did the last text message you sent say?
Sent to Gary last night: "Are you tivoing?" I made Tivo a verb.
13. What features do you find most attractive in your preferred sex?
Physical or personality traits? The latter is more important. Intelligence, common sense, compassion, sense of humor.
14. Fill in the blank. I love________
My family.
15. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
Get my house completely organized. I think it's a real possibility.
16. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time, who would you call?
My family
17. How many kids do you want to have?
I have three. I'm done.
18. Would you make a good parent?
I think I'm doing OK. I'm not without my weaknesses, but I'm sure I do better than some.
19. Where was your profile picture taken (Facebook)?
Which one? Some at the computer, some by family, others are cartoons.
20. What's your middle name?
Jane. I passed it on to Sylvia.
21. Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
Cleaning up the third-floor game room. Getting the dining room in order. Painting Sylvia's shelves. And so forth.
22. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
I don't think I want to mess with it. Sure, there are things I should have done differently, but now, what's the difference?
23. Who would be the maid of honor in your wedding?
A friend - I have no sisters. But I guess if I got married again (which is not likely at the moment), it would be one of my daughters.
24. What are you wearing right now?
Khaki capris (yay spring), sandals. Loving it.
25. Righty or Lefty?
RH
26. Best place to eat?
There are so many. La Scala, Maize, Little Mexico II, Beo One for sushi.
27. Favourite jeans?
Don't even know what brand they are - I love them.
28. Favourite animal?
Our dog, Zoe.
29. Favourite juice?
Um, cranberry? I guess?
30. Have you had the chicken pox?
Yes, but I have no memory of it. I was small.
31. Have you had a sore throat?
I have a mild one right now.
32. Ever had a bar fight?
No.
33. Who knows you the best?
Either Gary or Helen. Sometimes JoAnn.
34. Shoe size?
6 to 7 1/2 - varies.
35. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
Both. Readers, too.
36. Ever been in a fight with your pet?
Hell yes. Stupid dog.
37. Been to Mexico?
Never. How sad is that?
38. Did you buy something today?
Oh yes - shoes for an event tomorrow night. Clinique bonus time.
39. Did you get sick today?
No ... this is one weird quiz.
40. Did you miss someone today?
I often do. Today is no exception.
41. Did you get in a fight with someone today?
Not so far. But the day is young.
42. When is the last time you had a massage?
I had a food massage today.
43. Last person to lie in your bed?
Me - Gary gets up earlier than I do.
44. Last person to see you cry?
Maddie, who chastised me for crying during a YouTube video. Sue me.
45. Who made you cry?
The afore-mentioned YouTube video, of Susan Boyle. That woman is amazing.
46. What was the last TV show you watched.
30 Rock last night.
47. What are your plans for the weekend?
Tidying up, painting Sylvia's shelves, a big gala fund-raiser in Indianapolis.
48. Who do you think will repost this.
I hardly have time to worry about that, and mostly don't care.
49. Who was the last person you hung out with?
Alison and Maddie.
50. If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY, what would you say?
I would say yes - we do have three children together, after all ... seriously, he is just as fun as when we met. No regrets on that major decision - one of the wisest moves I've made in this life.

Voice of an Angel

2009-04-17T09:29:00.000-07:00

Like the rest of the world, I am absolutely transfixed by the video of Susan Boyle. She is the Britain's Got Talent contestant who has taken the world by storm with her rendition of "I Have a Dream" from Les Miserables. (The video is no longer available for posting, but you can find it - it's a YouTube sensation.)

Part of me is bothered by the initial reaction, the "surprise" that someone who is not vain, not conventionally attractive, can sing like she does. And on the other hand, I am thrilled to see this woman shatter stereotypes about what we do or should like.

I can't believe that, with a voice like hers, she has remained in obscurity all these years. But not any more - she is on the way to something big.

All the best to you, Susan Boyle, as you remind us, once again, that beauty is not only in the eye of the beholder, but can be found in places likely and unlikely. We should never be quick to judge, and we should enjoy some things for what they are.

Honesty

2009-04-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

Maddie and I were talking the other day.

You're too uptight about food, she told me. You always want to make sure we're not eating certain stuff. Stay out of the cookies for Sylvia's lunch, you tell us.

Well isn't that normal parent behavior? To be concerned about what you're eating? Not to mention, there is nothing worse than going to pack S's lunch and not having what I thought I had. That's why you need to leave the cookies alone.

Maddie, with very serious voice: But cookies are delicious. Breaks into huge smile.

*****

After Tuesday's field trip, the kitchen people came to measure for our counter tops.

[Aside: Yes - oh yes! We are down to those last few details - if you can call counter tops a "detail." It is frustrating that this major piece of the kitchen puzzle cannot be ordered in advance, but must be measured with the cabinets completely in place. But only two weeks. And the price was a steal - much less than I had anticipated for granite. It will be soooo beautiful ... )

Maddie looked at me.

You've been outside today.

Yes, I said, I have. I went on Sylvia's field trip and walked around in the cold, damp, windy race track.

Are you going to pull your hair back before the kitchen people come?

Um, no?

Oh.

Pause.

They will remember you as the lady with the hair.

Sigh.

Fourth-grade Field Trip

2009-04-15T07:33:00.001-07:00

Parenting/school duties for this year are paid up.

Believe me.

I agreed - half-heartedly - to chaperone a fourth-grade field trip yesterday. On the agenda: The Indianapolis Motor Speedway, home to the Indy 500.

I'm not a big racing fan. In all the years we've lived in Indiana, I've never been to the 500 (though I did go to the Brickyard one year). It wasn't really on my list of must-sees. But hey, it was with Sylvia's class.

Arrived at school, and I was assigned Sylvia and two of her friends for my group. They are well-behaved girls, so I was good. I was given three wristbands and told everyone must wear a wristband.

Adults, too? Yes, adults too. Well, I only have three, for the kids.

Everyone needs one, I am told by Mrs. R, the teacher.

I repeat again, I don't seem to have one. Again, she says, Everyone needs one to get in.

I apparently need to be more direct.

Do you have anymore wristbands? I ask. I gave my three to my group of three girls (I feel the need to be very specific).

I'm not sure, Mrs. R says. We may have just the right number.

???

If you don't have a wristband for me - a wristband that is required for entering the museum - please tell me now, before I get on the bus for the hour ride down there, where I will be forced to sit on the bus or outside the museum. Please.

Five minutes later, Mrs. R hands me my wristband. Damn.

Overall, not a terrible day, but not terribly exciting, either. The day was planned so badly - you'd think we were the first school group to tour. Nope - this program has been in place for three years. Yet they had us walking all over that infield, back and forth, passing by where we had just been three or four times. I understand the need to stagger the groups, but could it not be done in a more linear fashion? I mean, come on - we walked from point A to point D then back to point C then to point F then back to point B - you get the idea.

And our docent, when walking us to Point X, took us up a path that had no gate, so we had to backtrack and walk way around to get to the door. Hello - do you have any idea what you're doing? I know she is a volunteer - very nice woman - but could someone have trained her? Given her, I don't know, some idea of where she was to take us?

I did learn what all the flags mean (Gary did not know what the black flag meant); and seeing the old cars was sort of fun, the evolution of race car engineering. The video on crashes was anti-climactic (come on, surely there were better ones to see).

(And the young guy who ran the video - OMG, Peter, it was a young you! He was like your twin.)

I learned about superstitions at the race; I learned which driver drank OJ rather than milk, and what year that was.

And it didn't rain all day, an added bonus. Cold as hell, but no rain - count my blessings. I dressed like most of the other parents - jeans, tennis shoes, sweatshirt, rain coat. One mother had on her nice pants, her high-heeled boots, her trendy coat with coordinating scarf.

I have that outfit. I have the pants, the boots, the trendy coat. But hello - we were walking around the Speedway in what could have been pouring rain. I didn't even really fix my hair for the day - why bother? And my feet were comfortable. So for one day, it was worth sacrificing the put-together look.

On the way home, I had to sit near the kid on the bus who meowed - like a cat - the entire way home. The fact that no one was acknowledging him did not seem to deter him a bit. Need I mention this kid was sitting alone?

Did I mention this is the GT class?

Sylvia and I came home and made hot chocolate. I told her thanks for inviting me.

Well, she said, I didn't actually invite you. All I did was hand you the note and permission slip.

OK.

But it's OK that you came, she added. Because then I know I'll be in your group and not get stuck with some weird parent.

I think I'm done with chaperone duties for this year.

Organizing and taxes

2009-04-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

It's cold and rainy here today.

Sigh.

I've had my fill of rainy and chilly. I suppose spring is often thus - rainy and chilly and unpredictable. It just feels as if consistently warm weather should be on the horizon. Which it is - 60 on Wednesday, 69 on Friday. Warm weather, that is - not the consistent part. We'll be back in the rainy 50s next week.

I truly am a warm weather person. Though, as I've lamented, I do enjoy the winter, the change of seasons (a little something I learned about myself in my exile down south). But my love affair with winter was fleeting and has an expiration date.

*****

I have a million (truly - I don't exaggerate) things to do. Get Sylvia's room unpacked (she's moved in - yay!). Unpack my kitchen. But circumstances prevent me from getting this stuff done. Sylvia is doing homework. And contractors are installing the range hood. So no working in those rooms.

Plus I've had other stuff to do. Some laundry, some organizing. And taxes.

How did taxes end up in my realm? When we went through the division of labor, taxes clearly were relegated to Gary. I took laundry, shopping, the kitchen, cleaning, bills, the checkbook, and all other organizing for the girls. He got trash, the lawn, the cars, pests, and taxes. Yet here I am. To be fair, we use Turbotax, which means, basically, find the number on the form and type it in - could not be more idiot proof. Plus it goes through and checks your work. I did it last year, too, which was probably my mistake - we have documented evidence that I didn't foul things up, thus I have proven my competence.

What does a job well done get you? More work.

And the reminder that I should probably not go back to work - it would only end up costing us. We're better off with just Gary's salary.

I hear the washing machine beckoning.

Impending Completion

2009-04-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

Today, I am less frazzled than yesterday. Actually, much less frazzled. Because yesterday was a mess, with the ins and outs of appliance delivery. Seems as if it's the sort of thing that ought to be fairly straight forward. But if you believe that, then you've never owned a home. In the world of home maintenance and remodeling, nothing is ever straight forward.

But by late yesterday, that was dealt with. The ancient, inefficient basement refrigerator we inherited, the one on its last leg, that was moaning and groaning and not keeping drinks cold (I quit keeping milk down there out of fear) is gone - hauled away by the delivery men, who didn't even grumble when I suggested the game of musical refrigerators, involving our narrow, creaky basement steps, they would be playing. (I even offered cash up front, which they refused - gave them a nice tip in gratitude.) In its place stands our the former kitchen refrigerator (I'd say old, but it's not that old). And now, sitting in the middle of the kitchen (because there is no outlet yet - that happens today) is our brand-new refrigerator. Our new stove is sitting just inside the back door, the oven hood beside it, in its box.

But the best part? Gale the contractor extraordinnaire installed temporary plywood countertops and our dishwasher. Which works (imagine happy dance to beat happy dances here). He also installed a temporary sink, which means no more leaning over the back-breaking laundry room sink to wash the dishes.

The electricians are here today, adding some outlets, installing some light fixtures. But not all the light fixtures - can't install the bathroom light until the vanity is in, and we have not purchased the light for over the kitchen table. But now that we've ceased needing the laundry sink, I can buy the bathroom vanity and mirror - we (the administrative "we" - meaning the electrician, for which we are footing the bill) can then hang the light, which must be centered over the vanity.

Whew. Just thinking about this exhausts me.

Carpet installers are also here today. Which meant last night we were furiously painting Sylvia's room. We couldn't start earlier because we had to wait for the walls to be completed. It's a delicate house of cards, this project, with each piece of the puzzle fitting so carefully with the others. We got Sylvia's walls rolled, the ceiling done, and much of the trim work done (though not all). The baseboards got one coat of paint, but the window and door frames still need to be painted, and the baseboards will need a second coat.

It's never ending, I tell you. Except that I see an end to some of this.

The kitchen is virtually done. I will order the countertops today, and it will be four to six weeks - depending on whether or not the slab of granite we choose is in stock, whether it's been polished. But other than that? Things are pretty much done.

Done! What a word. But I shouldn't say it too loudly - karma has been known to bit one in the ass when you least expect it.

Approaching completion ... that sounds so good.

On today's agenda

2009-04-09T05:22:00.001-07:00

I have a date to walk with a friend. Must finish painting Sylvia's room - probably need to buy more paint. Need to paint the woodwork, which is going to require some sanding, some prep work.

Bills to pay, maybe some groceries to pick up. Mustn't forget to return my Netflix so we can have a new movie this weekend. Tonight, must empty Sylvia's room - carpet installers come tomorrow a.m., so room must be empty.

Must drive Maddie to flute practice; on the way home, stop to order new counter top. We're going with the solid granite - a local place quoted us a price that just can't be beat. Yes, it's a LOT of money, but still, for this kitchen, it will be worth it. Considering the projected value of the house, anything less (other then Corian) would look as if we cut corners.

Must go to license branch and get Indiana plates for van. Tried this once, but needed the registration along with the title. Did you know you can get a ticket for driving around with expired plates? Even if they are only a couple days past due, and even if you really did try to renew them but didn't quite finish the task? I've heard this can happen.

Have a good day, all.

The good, the bad, the in-between

2009-04-08T16:45:00.000-07:00

There are days when everything goes well; there are days when everything seems to go wrong.

Then there are day like today. When most things go well. Until - BAM - something goes wrong.

I could say, Terribly wrong. Horribly, awfully wrong. Except that really, in the grand scheme of things, this is a small thing. Small enough that, while I'm truly upset, I can also laugh. And Gary is helping me laugh.

So, rather than be all stressed and freaked out, I am going to pause and be thankful for having such a wonderful husband, such great kids and, really, a pretty good life.

With one or two little blips. Sigh - how would I know when things were great if I didn't have moments when they weren't?

Smart people do dumb shit sometimes. Wise words from my husband. Thanks, honey, for helping me put things in perspective.

The Price is Right

2009-04-07T06:44:00.000-07:00

I grew up watching The Price is Right. Especially on summer vacation; it came on around 10 a.m., and we used to love to watch, to play along with Bob Barker and the guests on contestants' row.

I watched a long time ago. I remember when the show went from 30 to 60 minutes. I remember back before they used to spin the wheel. This was when Janice and Anita were the models; back before college kids used to play. The contestants back then were housewives. We played the Hi-Lo game, the one where you had to guess the order of the numbers in the price of the car - and there were only four - the mountain climber game.

When we would go to the summer movies, my friends and I would walk to the movie theater at the mall. We used to cut through Montgomery Ward, and in the furniture area, where they had bedrooms, dining rooms, and living rooms on display, we would play Showcase.

Growing up in the 70s - this is what it was.

I remember watching when the contestants would see the next item up for bid. It was usually a household appliance - a stove, a dishwasher, a washer and dryer. And I remember thinking, how anti-climactic (though I doubt I thought those exact words). I mean, my family had a stove, a refrigerator, a grill. How boring.

But I was a kid. I didn't get it. To me, all appliances were the same. Now that I am an adult, I totally get it.

All appliances are not equal.

Believe me, I get it. Especially as, in the course of the last six months, we have replaced every appliance we own. We celebrated our 20th anniversary by purchasing a new washer and dryer. Ours was 20 years old, and I think the washer had started to leak. When we moved, they left a set for us in the basement, and they were at least as old as the set I had - maybe older - and mismatched (the horror!). So we purchased a fancy front-loading washer and matching dryer. We loved ours in Germany, so we figured after 20 years of marriage, it was time to upgrade our clothes washing. The new machine uses less water, gets clothes cleaner, and is easier on the clothes, as they wash against themselves, not an agitator.

And most importantly, they look so cool. Too bad they are in basement where no one can see and enjoy them but me. And I do mean only me - no one else in my family has bothered to learn how to operate them. Gary says he doesn't want to spoil my fun.

Anyway.

In the last couple of weeks, I have purchased the rest of our new appliances. And, as I'm sure you know, all appliances are not equal. One can buy a stove for $250. But it won't be a pretty stove. It will be a barely functional stove - the kind you'd find in an apartment. For our remodel, I wanted a fancy stove - I really wanted a faux-industrial stove, but I wasn't quite up for spending (gulp) $7000 (my entire appliance budget plus some). So I settled for the Electrolux duel fuel range. It is not only beautiful, but highly functional: five burners, with one that can swap out into a griddle; a warming drawer; easy-glide racks; convection oven; Min-2-Max™ burner with a range of 550 to 16,000 BTU and Wave-Touch™ controls; and - Sylvia's favorite - the perfect turkey button.

I can hardly wait to cook. But we're not done.

There is the exposed vent hood/fan, vented to the outside. It set us back a bit, as well. Then there's the dishwasher - and, once again, do not be fooled by price. The $250 dishwasher will be loud. It will not have adjustable racks, and you won't be able to set the delay cycle (very handy in a family if five). The refrigerator that costs $400 will not have an ice maker, will not have ice and water in the door, will not have the finish you require (we went with the too-trendy stainless steel - it will likely go out of favor in the next year to 18 months), will not have the fancy pull-out shelves and gallon-door bins. We opted not to go for the über-hip extra-wide fridge with the freezer drawer - they are very chic, but they tack on quite the premium for that look, so we went with your basic side-by-side. The budget could only support so much that is au courant.

It's all costing us. It does increase the value of our house (the appraiser has been through for the refinance), that's for sure, and it will not only look beautiful, but be so much more functional than what we had.

But I'm thinking of my 8-year-old self, and how *boring* I thought appliances were on The Price is Right. How we learn, how we change.

What I'd give to be on The Price is Right, with the chance to win a high-end kichen gadget. And how I would be right on top of that suggested retail price. Come on down ...

Zinn ecstasy

2009-04-06T15:30:00.000-07:00

I greeted the Zinn cabinet installers this morning at 9 a.m. By 4 p.m., they had worked their magic.

This was what our kitchen looked like yesterday, as we painted. The color looks oddly orange in the camera light, rather garish - it is a bit more subtle. Though not too subtle - I am a big fan of bold color these days. And why not - life is short.

Here is our floor - slate tile. It is beautiful against the orange walls.

To the right of the sink, this cabinet/counter top area comes out at an L. The lower level is standard cabinet height - a fantastic work area. The upper level is bar-height - just enough room for three bar stools. You know, three kids = three bar stools. Fewer would never do.

The stove wall, which will feature my fancy new Electrolux duel-fuel range, with fancy exposed stainless steel hood/vent. This will be a cook's kitchen, but without the Viking range. Not enough room, not enough budget.

The sink, below the window. We didn't move it - way too much trouble (expense), plus, I like having the sink below the window. It has a view of the pool; nice in summer, kind of dull in winter.

Another view of the bar; the wall to the right is where the old half bath used to be. The refrigerator will now go there, recessed into the wall, with cabinets above.

In the new part of the kitchen, this recessed cabinet backs up to the side of the refrigerator. Great use of space - credit for this ingenious bit of design innovation goes to the Zinn kitchen folks. Glad I had them - little ideas like this make it so worth paying for kitchen design expertise.

It is possible to do a kitchen on your own - pick out cabinets at Home Depot or one of the big box stores, install them yourself, and save quite a bit of money. But you get what you pay for. We used Zinn, one of the premiere custom cabinet companies in this area. They do cost a bit more, but it is totally worth it. Their price includes everything: Design, hardware, installation. Everything is guaranteed for life. They will make certain you are satisfied. And, added bonus, it's local, and experts can tell you how much more of your money stays in the community when you buy local. Plus, people have warned me that when you deal with the big box stores, if something comes damaged or does not work out - ie, if you measured wrong and are off by a quarter inch - you are on your own; you have to contact the manufacturer. When you go with a custom place, or a kitchen designer, as my friend Kaye did, they stand behind the product and deal with the headaches so you don't have to worry so much. Yes, it costs more, but in the end, it is so worth it.

I've spent much of my day just standing around, admiring my new cabinets. They are soooo beautiful. And - ! - we are painting Sylvia's room in anticipation of new carpet Friday. Meaning this weekend she'll be moved into her room, the guest room will be done, and all will be back to normal on the top two floors of our house.

We may eventually finish all this remodeling. Then what will I do with my time?

Spring Break

2009-04-06T15:13:00.001-07:00

I learned a couple of things on spring break this year.

Number one, I learned that I do not love downhill skiing. Everyone raves about what fun it is; everyone says it's the best thing ever.

I will have to respectfully disagree. I found it terrifying. Perhaps I am too old - perhaps I would have enjoyed it more when I was younger, more fool hardy. But at my age, it's just too much for me. The feeling that I could not stop, that I was going too fast, gave me nightmares.

Oh, and I spent part of my vacation week with a migraine. Didn't help.

We had a lot of fun with my brother John and Barbara, his significant other. They are always fun to hang with. Even when Missouri loses its quest for the Final Four.

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I spent much of the week curled up on the sofa, enjoying the books I brought with me. Which leads me to the second thing I learned: that vacation does not have to involve lots of activity for me to be happy. Just hanging with Gary and the girls, enjoying a good book, games, and time together is enough for me. I do love a fun vacation in a major metropolitan area, but I also like the laid-back week.

But next time will be at the beach.

But I'm a UU!

2009-04-04T08:04:00.000-07:00

For fun, I went to Beliefnet.org, just to make sure I'm at the right church. Ooops - looks like my church is my No. 2 choice.

Oh well. I'm already there - I guess I'll hang around for a while. But maybe I should start going to Forum??

Your Results

The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.

Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.

How did the Belief-O-Matic do? Discuss your results on our message boards.
1. Secular Humanism (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (94%)
3. Liberal Quakers (78%)
4. Theravada Buddhism (74%)
5. Neo-Pagan (73%)
6. Nontheist (71%)
7. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (62%)
8. New Age (59%)
9. Taoism (50%)
10. Reform Judaism (46%)
11. Mahayana Buddhism (46%)
12. Orthodox Quaker (42%)
13. Sikhism (34%)
14. Jainism (32%)
15. Scientology (31%)
16. Baha'i Faith (29%)
17. New Thought (28%)
18. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (22%)
19. Hinduism (22%)
20. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (21%)
21. Seventh Day Adventist (20%)
22. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (16%)
23. Orthodox Judaism (16%)
24. Eastern Orthodox (14%)
25. Islam (14%)
26. Roman Catholic (14%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (12%)

Scattered

2009-03-24T13:13:00.000-07:00

My mind is all over the place these days.

My house is a mess - a total disaster. But there is light at the end of the tunnel, so we're just breathing deeply and getting through it. I dusted yesterday - seems pointless, as there is more drywall to be sanded. But at some point, I had to rid the furniture of at least one layer of filth.

We are leaving on spring break Friday. And I have a laundry list of things to do - a long list. Meetings, errands, stuff around the house.

Which explains why I forgot Sylvia's dentist appointment today. But not how I had 30 minutes to shop sale racks.

I know. I don't understand either. Nor do I understand some of these "designers," a term I use loosely here. Why I would I want to wear a sweater with little pockets on the sleeve? Or a pullover with a fake T-shirt sewn into the V neck? Or anything with pleats on the empire waist?

Yuck.

So, lacking a transition here, I'll segue into Sylvia's fourth-grade class play on Indiana history. I am fully up to date on the state of Indiana through 1865. On the relative importance of canals, of flat boats, and of abolitionists vs. secessionists. I am a bit annoyed that the note sent home had the start time as 1.15 p.m., yet when I walked in - at 1.10 - the play had clearly been underway for at least a few minutes.

I sat by one of the other mothers I know. Who is fine, most of the time. But feels a constant need to drop into every conversation that her husband is an aeronautical engineer.

Um, OK. So is mine. (My husband's bachelor's degree is in mechanical & aerospace engineering. His master's degree, too. In case you're interested.) But I don't necessarily need to remind everyone every time we talk. I have another acquaintance who likes to make sure all the kids call her husband Dr. X.

I wonder if it has to do with insecurity (which is what I suspected of the neighbor who always wanted us to know just how successful he was, how he had just joined the country club, how his wife could afford to quit work now). Or with an over-inflated sense of importance.

Either way, people notice. And aren't impressed.

OK. That 400-page book is not going to read itself ...

Tragic

2009-03-19T05:54:00.000-07:00

How does a 45-year-old woman hit her head and walk away, then end up dead within hours?

It's so tragic. And it's so real. This is what happened to Natasha Richardson, who hit her head during a ski lesson.

She was 45 years old - my husband's age. She has two sons.

It just all seems so senseless. But boy does it stop and make one think.

We are going skiing in two weeks. This makes up my mind about whether or not we will be wearing helmets on the slopes.

And it also helps me pause and reflect on how fleeting life is, how quickly everything can change. You just have to appreciate every day what you have - it can all change. Life isn't fair; no one ever said it was. And as I read this morning, anyone who doesn't get up in the morning and say, "How lucky I am," is an idiot.

Life lessons (or Where did I put that rat's ass?)

2009-03-16T06:42:00.000-07:00

We were chatting this weekend - just general lunch time chat, about such things as Michelle Obama's arms and whether or not critics should be after her and her penchant for sleeveless dresses, even in February.

Which is when Maddie reminded me of a great quote from a favorite television show, Pushing Daisies (which, apparently, has met with an early demise - collateral damage from last year's writers' strike).

The quote: Where did I put that rat's ass I could give?

That program always made me giggle - very clever, very snappy writing. And that quote is just apropos sometimes. Because now, when it seems that I should get worked up over something trivial, I can remind myself and just not care.

As I've gotten older, I've learned a thing or two. About life. I've learned not to let little things get to me. If you do, you'll be consumed with angst. I like my husband's favorite quote, too: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss hit it right there - why bother worrying about what other people think?

I could concern myself with the fact that my husband and I do not use the same last name - won't people wonder whether or not we're married? Whether or not he is the father of our children? But I gave that up long ago - we know we're married; we know who the girls' father is. And anyone who matters knows. Why care what anyone else might possibly think, about someone who might have the wrong idea. It is their problem, not mine.

Which isn't to say I don't worry, but I save it for the stuff that matters - I worry plenty about my children (who else will?), and about my husband (I only have the one), about our life, our home, our finances, the choices we make regarding all of the above.

But as far as some of this other stuff? Such as, What will the neighbors think? or, Does he/she like me? I have learned to let all that go. Not that I didn't used to worry. But somehow, along the age of 40, I figured it out: If people don't like you (or, in this case, me) it's about them, not me.

And when I look at the people in my life that I consider friends - people in my neighborhood, my church, friends from high school and college - I am really surrounded by some great friends.

As for the rest of it? The small, nitpicky stuff? The keeping-up-with-the-neighbors? The kind of nonsense that surrounded me in the soulless suburbs of Houston?

Where did I put that rat's ass I could give? Because none of that matters a bit.

(And special thanks to Maddie for being clever enough to remember that bit of television philosophy.)

Perception

2009-03-15T08:15:00.000-07:00

Poor Sylvia.

Yes, I noticed that she didn't do much yesterday; she lay around, watched some television. She even took a nap, which I assumed was because she had stayed up too late the night before at a friend's house.

So it wasn't until we were halfway through our marathon of running errands last night that it suddenly dawned on us: She's not just tired and cranky, but sick. When she asked to sit next to me at the restaurant and buried her head in my shoulder, I knew it immediately.

You'd think I'm new at parenting. I guess there is always more to learn.

So today I have an excuse to stay home. Though she seems to be fine today. She went to bed with a fever of 101, but she woke up today as usual, fever-free. And hungry.

And I get the morning off - nice. I am so glad she is feeling better; you hate to waste a sick day on a weekend, after all.

Demolition Day

2009-03-12T11:54:00.000-07:00

It's going to be a stressful few weeks around these parts. We may be hitting our limit: We are officially relegated to our temporary kitchen, i.e. the dining room.

It's demolition day here at our house - the old kitchen is coming out as I write.

I am not sorry to see it go. I've mentioned this before (because really, do I talk of anything else?). But I am mostly bidding good bye to a pile of non-working appliances, outdated cabinets, and worn-out flooring.

And it is good riddance, indeed.

So, today I bid a farewell to this:

This shot shows the size of our old kitchen - the behemoth of an island usurping what little floorspace is in the middle of the room. Must remember that this kitchen was originally built at a time when people did not have a lot of dishes, utensils or appliances. Or, more importantly, at a time when the owner of a house like ours (it's a pretty big house, and, when built, would have been the home of folks with money) did not deign to cook for herself. At the very least, she would have had some help. Which explains the servant's bedroom in the attic and the back staircase.

(Sadly, no household help was included with the purchase of the house - I am on my own.)

Here, the wall is gone! John and Gale are shown here dismantling the giant island, leaving what now feels like an inordinate amount of floor space. It's all in what you're used to.

You can see back into the new area (which is essentially done, lacking only some trim and tile grout). The new bathroom is functional (though lacking a window blind - probably need that, and soon). We've installed a laundry sink, as that will be our makeshift kitchen.

I would post a photo of my dining room, but I don't think I'm up for it - it is filled with boxes of dishes, boxes of food, our microwave, necessary appliances (coffee maker, toaster, refrigerator). And it is a giant mess. We are going to be on the edge of madness around here, I'm thinking - we still have to eat, and we cannot possibly eat out all the time.

I can feel my stress level creeping up even higher ... and I was already at a preternaturally high stress level to begin with.

It's all for the greater good - I can tell that Sylvia finds this all to be an adventure. I suppose we will look back someday with great fondness, full of thigh-slapping exploits of the giant remodeling of '08-'09.

In that spirit, let the games begin. But I'm quietly counting the days.

Thank you for being a friend

2009-03-11T11:07:00.000-07:00

To the recipient of my anxiety-filled e-mails of the last few days:

Thanks so much for listening (reading?). Thanks for being non-judgmental. Thanks for sharing - just enough - to allow to me feel as if I am not crazy, as if I am not isolated.

Mostly, thanks for being my friend for so many years. I won't say how many - that doesn't benefit either one of us, does it?

Thanks for being you!

Colors

2009-03-09T10:45:00.000-07:00

We painted our new downstairs half bath and the addition part of the kitchen over the weekend. The bath is a green, slightly lighter than avocado - an apple green, I suppose you could say. The kitchen is a burnt orange, sort of terra cotta. It is stunning - both colors blend well with the slate on the floor. The green will be complemented by white trim and white bathroom fixtures; the orangey color also makes the slate really stand out (lots of terra cotta/copper in some of the tiles) and will look great next to our oak trim and the color of hickory cabinets we choose.

Cabinet stain has been narrowed down to two choices. We held them both up against the floor and wall, and both look fantastic. Trust me. It is all very warm and inviting.

I am feeling so good about all this. The wall between the old and new kitchen comes down this week; the kitchen demo begins Wednesday. Which means I need to get busy packing up the kitchen and setting up our temporary space in the dining room. And in the new bathroom, which will play its role as makeshift kitchen.

So this is your last chance to see our hideously outdated kitchen - it all goes on Wednesday. Come by and bid farewell - though you'll see no tears shed on this end!

Stupidity

2009-03-09T10:33:00.001-07:00

"I'm not a big fan of the Spring-Back," were the opening words of this blog I read on occasion.

It's spring forward, you nitwit. That's the comment I wanted to leave. But didn't. Because I'm not a big fan of leaving caustic, nasty comments on others' blogs. I kind of want to sometimes, but I don't. I ascribe to the "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" school of thought.

You're probably wondering why I read this particular blog, seeing as it is so full of holier-than-thou, sanctimonious tripe. (It is - trust me. It is one of two highly sanctimonious blogs I read.) Good question; I ask myself that at least thrice weekly.

I'm a glutton for punishment, apparently. I know - who's the real idiot in this scenario?

Don't answer.

The fabulous, and the not so fabulous

2009-03-06T12:53:00.000-08:00

Today, I have a headache. My back hurts. And did I mention that I had a terrible time sleeping last night? Lay awake for hours? (Literally - from midnight til 2 a.m. Dreadful.)

That sort of sums up my day. Last two days, to be exact. Yesterday was sort of hellish, for a variety of reasons. I'll spare you the details, but I was on the verge of a panic attack every hour or so, hyper-ventilating and overcome with brief terrors.

It's better today. Perhaps because today I had to pull myself together and get in gear - meetings had to be attended, things had to get done, passive voice had to be used. (In J School, passive voice was such a no-no - good thing none of my professors reads this, huh?)

I am feeling better, too, because I was able to take a nap this afternoon, getting back one of my precious lost hours of sleep from last night.

It has turned warmer outside - the day is glorious. It is warmer outside than in my house, a common phenomenon at this time of year. I went for a nice long walk yesterday with my BFF - the one who has the job that uses up all her play time, leaving with me with only dregs and crumbs. Thanks goodness this is a school-year-only job situation and that I can be patient - we'll have hours and hours poolside this summer to catch up. I look forward to that.

We have a nearly completed brand-new slate floor in our addition. It looks stunning - truly stunning. Gale, my contractor, is not convinced of just how lovely it is. But John, one of his employees, is on my side - he loves it. Of course, John also loved Maddie's wall color - perhaps he and I are simply on the same decorating wavelength. John's parents have some sort of Mexican tile in their house, the kind that is handmade and lies in the sun to dry, thus accumulating tiny bird foot prints in the tile. Sounds very cool. He understands just how very beautiful our natural slate tiles are, how the variations in color are eye-catching, how the look will go with whatever wall color we choose.

I assured Gale that when we are done, he will understand just how splendid it is. And that his name will be all over it - everyone will know who is responsible for our fabulous floors.

So I should get used to laying them? he quipped. Funny guy.

All right. Must move on - so much to do, so much I haven't done.

Bureaucracy

2009-03-04T07:15:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I visited our local license branch. I shouldn't complain - the people who work there are nice and as helpful as they can be, and it's not really their fault the line is always out the door.

And mostly I'm not complaining. I got my new Indiana license (and they did not ask how long we'd been here - I was little worried, as I am way past the mandated 60 days in which to transfer my out of state license). And I started the license process on the Audi. My new DL picture is dreadful - for some reason, we now have this rule that one is not to smile, which did not help me any.

But I'm not sure I care to entrust the question of whether or not I'm a qualified driver to someone who tells me "read acrosst (sic) the the top line."

Scary. But I'm all legal again. And I have two more cars to register.

Game room, tile, more progress

2009-03-03T15:02:00.000-08:00

What I wouldn't give for an extra hour or two each day. For reading, organizing, running errands - maybe even sleeping.

I could sure use it.

Today was a flurry of activity. While I was on the elliptical, my mind starting racing around, thinking of what I could do upstairs. But first I should back up: We moved all of Maddie's stuff from the third-floor game room down to her room - success! She is completely moved in (though to say everything is neatly stowed away would be a stretch - that is her job, and this week she is incredibly busy, with three swim meets, tests, ISTEP, science fair, etc. I can wait.)

So, with Maddie out, I cleaned, cleaned, cleaned ... in order to move Sylvia upstairs. We got the biggest portion of her necessary stuff moved up there; since she'll only be there for two weeks or so, we decided some of her furniture could stay in the hallway, or even move into our room (the sitting room off our bedroom).

And, since Sylvia is not taking up as much space as Maddie did, it suddenly dawned on me, while on the elliptical, that we could actually arrange the furniture in the TV area the way we would like, as we no longer have to accommodate for all of Maddie's stuff.

Thus I spent the morning moving furniture (and vacuuming thoroughly underneath everything I moved). It looks good. Not great - that will wait for the day Sylvia is no longer up there and we have a new couch (I've priced them - after this kitchen remodel, it will be a while). None the less, it looks much better, much less cluttery, much more usable space.

This took up much of the morning, but I feel so much better about the state of our house - we are seeing such progress. Today I am seeing this in the new part of the kitchen:

It is even more beautiful in person. Soon we'll be seeing new kitchen cabinets. I'm thinking "soon" is a relative term. But the stain choices are sitting in our house, waiting for a decision.

It is happening. Truly, it is happening.

Seasons

2009-03-03T05:09:00.001-08:00

It is cold outside. Temps are in the single digits.

But the sun is shining - it is bright and clear and beautiful.

I am not having strong "I-can't-wait-for-spring" yearnings. I usually do, but after two years in the perpetual summer wasteland of Houston, I am loving the colder days. I like the change of seasons, the cycle. When spring comes, I will feel completely ready, as if the world has been renewed.

So, for now, I'm still enjoying pulling out the sweaters, putting on my gloves. For spring break we're going to Colorado to ski - no vacation on the beach, no swim suits, no sandals.

But there will be time for all of that later. I'll spend my summer in the pool; I'll get all the sunshine I need.

Balance. It's all about the balance.

Hardware Nirvana

2009-02-27T04:40:00.000-08:00

I spent much of my day yesterday at the hardware store. Which is how I spend many of my days - pricing, comparing, choosing, buying. Between Target, the supermarket, and hardware, my days are full. And oh, so satisfying.

Yesterday, an associate approached me in Lowe's as I was looking at faucets for the downstairs powder room. When I told him I was just looking, he said, I figured you would say that.

Then he said: I want to see pictures when it's done. I looked at him, and he said, I've noticed you - you're in here all the time, making notes, studying, like no one else I've ever seen. Are you doing the entire house?

I laughed and told him a little of what we are doing. It will be the entire house before we're done. I feel so consumed by this little project - I need a diversion.

Which, this week, comes in the form of a book. I am anxious to curl up on the couch today and read, read, read.

Well, after my trip to the appliance store.

Moving In

2009-02-25T07:06:00.000-08:00

Remember this?

This is Maddie's room over the weekend. When we were in a painting frenzy, trying to be ready for the carpet installers to arrive and work their magic first thing Monday morning.

Well, we did it. We got the room painted. Two coats - apparently that is how much Positively Pink is required to cover brand-new drywall. In any event, we got it done. And the carpet installers were here and, true to my prediction, the room looks done.

Beautiful, no?

Maybe a little bright - I'll give you that. But put yourself in the mind of a 14-year-old girl. By which I do mean girl - one who likes all things pink and pretty and ... well, for lack of a better word, we'll say girly.

She is so pleased. And even my contractor (who felt the wall color was very, very pink) admitted that the room looks great, even if not to his taste. The pink paint makes the trim really pop.

We still have a few details that need attention - the closet door needs to be painted, the closet hardware needs to be installed (and purchased), and there is some touch-up painting. But mostly, it is done. She's moving in tonight (swim meet/neighborhood meeting/Obama speaking preempted those plans for last night - Maddie said if she couldn't move all her stuff in, she'd just wait).

And now, for a change of pace, a photo that is not remodeling oriented. Didn't think I had it in me, did you? Here are Gary and Sylvia on their Saturday night date.

A lovely couple, wouldn't you agree?

Must run. I have a moving project to attend to.

The Remodel: Part XXXIV of MM

2009-02-24T18:18:00.000-08:00

For those of you who think I dwell way too much on my house remodeling .... well, let me just say, you've clearly never done a remodel of your entire house. If you ever had, you would know how all-consuming it is.

Today, for example, the electricians were here to install the ceiling fans and outlets in the new rooms upstairs. Mid-job Gale, my contractor/surrogate husband, popped down and said one of the fans had been previously opened and repackaged and was missing pieces - could I run and exchange it rightatthisverymoment, because the electricians only have this scheduled in for another 90 minutes.

Sigh. Such is my life. Must paint new sunroom/guestroon; must strip old hideous wallpaper from Sylvia's room. Must look at appliances to check dimensions for cabinet people; must look at interior French door for new sunroom.

The devil's in the details, or so they say. I am coordinating all these details. Thus I am dancing with the devil. Most days, it feels like it.

(Though I did take a break today and play with my Mah Jongg group, from which I came home $2.50 wealthier. I was, in fact, the only winner of the day. It's a skill.)

The false wall came down in Sylvia's room today. The fourth wall is unfinished, but there is a sense now of just how large the room is. We only added about 2 1/2 feet, but the room feels huge. She is very pleased. As am I.

Tomorrow we move Maddie into her new room. The excitement just never ceases.

As for me, I will defer to the linguistic experts

2009-02-24T13:29:00.001-08:00

Fascinating little piece on objective vs. subjective pronouns from the New York Times.

I"ll be reading this closely, myself. And my writer editor friends and I can discuss it later. For my friends and I, it's an issue with which to be dealt.

Though maybe the piece is right - perhaps it's time for the language-istas to back off a bit. Just between you and me, too much rigidity makes language a dull thing, indeed.

The Grammar Czar is hereby demoted

2009-02-23T13:41:00.000-08:00

I have to smile at some of the blogs and these "25 Random Things About Me" I've been reading lately. I smile at how many people make comments such as, "I am a grammar geek" or "I am a self-proclaimed 'grammar Nazi.'"

I smile because of what follows. As in, their postings are rife with misspellings, incomplete sentences, or incorrect punctuation.

Which I notice. After editing at newspapers and magazines (not to mention teaching freshman composition), I am used to scouring for mistakes.

Most of the time I can let it go - after all, these are not people who are writing for publication. I am terrible about editing/proofreading my own work; once it's posted, I tend to see the errata I've missed, but I'm often too lazy to go back and correct it.

But I have to pick a little at those who continue to make mistakes, over and over, when they've just stated to the world how they spend their time policing others. For example, I have run across the following - verbatim - over the last couple of days:

* The boxes I drug home have been unpacked.
* I had to pick up my niece from school. School commenced at 3, so I left the house at 2.45 p.m.
• Croc's rock
• We also had these cool little dolls, that smelled good and were packaged in perfume bottles.
• I'm sitting in my kitchen which is barren not exactly knowing what to do next.

Ouch. I know - some of these errors are not glaring; I don't think they change the meaning of the sentences or contribute to highly ineffective communication. Mostly it just strikes me as funny. Sort of like when sanctimonious members of Congress claim they are morally above reproach only to find themselves embroiled in a prostitution scandal.

I have my own grammar/usage pet peeves - which I think I'll keep to myself. The minute I point them out, someone is likely to catch me breaking one of my own rules. Besides, isn't there some quote about worrying about the speck in your neighbor's eye but not noticing the log in your own?

So to all the unofficial or unlicensed members of the grammar patrol: Let's all worry about keeping our own houses tidy, shall we? No more of the pot calling the kettle black - unless the pot is without error. And from what I see, it's not likely.

Saturday

2009-02-21T13:44:00.000-08:00

It's a workday around here.

Maddie came and asked if, after she went to the movies, her dad would take her sledding. Um, probably not, was the answer. Because we are painting your bedroom! I wanted to hiss.

She could be helping. Maybe should. But really, none of my remodeling ideas were her idea - she would have been satisfied to keep the bedroom she had and have Gary and I use the bathroom in the hall. The desire for the master bath, thus usurping her bedroom, was mine.

So Gary and I are painting. I'm on a short break, soon to be back up rolling paint on the walls. Ceiling and closet (in its entirety) are done; just walls left. Baseboards and moldings were done separately - makes for a nice, clean look.

Here's the before room, with some of the color on the wall. I know - wow. But she's a 14-year-old girl - and it's just paint.

But just to be clear, the closet is painted a more neutral color. That way, when someone decides to repaint - say, when Maddie moves out of that room someday - the task will not include repainting inside the closet.

Progress.

Marriage and Pests

2009-02-20T09:44:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of reasons I'm married.

My husband is a great guy. He is smart and fun and generally we have a good time together. We like a lot, though not all, of the same things, we have beautiful children, and we travel well together.

But truth be told, I could have all those things without being married. But marriage takes you to the next level. The level where he takes out the trash (an unpleasant task), manages the car maintenance, and does the heavy lifting. He will always carry the suitcases out to the car (and back inside when we get home); if we're traveling without the kids, he will carry the suitcases. He will eat my sandwich for me, or trade, if it turns out in a way I did not anticipate. He will let me have the last can of coke or glass of wine.

Yet, as touching as those little gestures are, we have not yet reached the realm of true love: Pests.

Vermin. Rodents. Creepy things that enter my house without invitation.

On Owen Street, we had a little issue with bats. Now, I am not against bats in theory. In their natural habitat (which basically means anywhere that is NOT inside my house). Owen Street was our third old house in an old neighborhood. Meaning, I can't believe it took us that long to have a bat issue. On both Cooper Street and Ninth Street, we heard the bat tales from neighbors and figured we were next; never happened. On Owen Street, we made up for it.

We finally figured out that a screen on the third floor did not fit tight - it takes only a tiny opening for them to get in. Once we quit opening that window, bat problem solved. But we had several tense bat evenings. I am so relieved, so thankful that the bats only chose to make an appearance when Gary was home - I honestly do not know how I would have handled it alone. Maybe Alison would have helped me - she was very calm when she came down one night to tell us there was a bat in her room. The night I heard one flitting above my head, I was frozen beneath the covers while Gary dealt with the intruder.

A few weeks ago, Gary made a solemn announcement: He had found what he thought were droppings in the basement, next to a bag of potatoes that had been nibbled on. We had mice.

Once again, I know these things are a fact of life - I know neighbors who have had mice; I know a neighbor who had a rat in her toilet (shiver). A couple people have had mice in their kitchen cabinets. I'm relieved that my mice were only in the basement. And I'm consoling myself thinking that they probably got in when the back of the house was open when work was being done.

In any event, the mice are past tense. Gary bought the traps, baited the traps, set the traps, checked the traps, and emptied the traps. He caught, and disposed of, four mice. It's been about two weeks, and he's seen not hide nor hair of any more little creatures. And I didn't have to do a thing.

What a great husband. It brings me great peace of mind to know that my husband will always take care of me, will always eradicate our home of unwelcome guests.

And that rat? I would recommend keeping my toilet lids down when not in use.

O wad some power the giftie gie us ...

2009-02-17T09:01:00.000-08:00

... to see oursels as others see us. - Robert Burns

After my post yesterday, I got an e-mail from a friend,

Oh no! she said. You're probably judging me.

It wasn't her. Which I was quick to point out. I don't really make a habit of caring about others' Facebook friend choices. And I'd never noticed hers. This other one was just especially glaring - to me - because of what I know about both the people involved.

What strikes me as really funny is how many people might have seen themselves in that post. And that the person to whom I was referring probably would not see themselves at all.

It's funny whom people choose to "friend." I have one friend who says she is friends with all her exes. She loved them once, and they have not stopped being that person. My husband, on the other hand, points out that as you get to know people, they can change. And suddenly the can become someone you want nothing to do with.

True. True. Do you really want to be Facebook friends with an ex?

I talked to a friend last week, and he is new to Facebook. You'll never guess who friended me, he said. I threw out some names from college. No, no, he said.

The ex. A particular ex. One who totally screwed him over. More than once.

You didn't, I said. No. He didn't. And for good reason. He's no dummy - the cycle will just keep repeating itself. He went around that ride a couple times and decided to quit while he was still ahead. Click - friend request deleted.

I know one thing for sure: Facebook is making me rethink the definition of "friend." With so many Facebook "friends," what am I going to call the people in my real life who are really there for me, supporting me, filling the role of true friend?

Just when you think the Internet is making your life easier. Sigh.

Wasting time on Facebook

2009-02-16T14:38:00.000-08:00

Facebook is a giant time waster.

Which isn't to say I don't like it - oh trust me, I am totally sucked in. But wow - the time one could spend reading profiles, perusing friends of friends, searching for long-lost classmates, friends, lovers.

Seems as if one could - should - do something more productive.

This week, I've been inundated with stories about Facebook - on the radio today I heard the story about this meme 25 Random Things About Me; I've read other stories from
Time and Newsweek about how Facebook is for old people, and about how Facebook is sucking up all their free time.

True - all of it true.

Yet, I still love it. I am trying not to spend too much time on it - it's not as if I accomplish anything when I use it. I'm not in a competition as to who has the most friends (except with Gary - I tease him about being anti-social on Facebook, and he gloats because he was friended by a mutual friend of ours and I was not). I don't seek out everyone I ever knew in high school and college.

I have one friend who does seem to "collect" friends - I looked at her friend list one day and was stunned at some of the people she considers "friends." But in the time I've known her, she has always been about collecting things - why would "friends" be any different?

I have three friends in particular that are special. One is a former colleague, one a cousin, and one a friend from long ago that I'd lost touch with. For those three friends alone, this has all been worth it.

So I think I have reached Facebook Nirvana and it can't get any better. I'm not ready to quit, but I am ready to step back a bit. Let's hope it's not too late.

Weekend post mortem

2009-02-15T16:25:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day gets a lot of hype. Hype that might be difficult to live up to.

I've had someone to spend this day with since I was 18 years old. Every single year since then, in fact. So I don't get too worked up about what the day will bring - as I said, I have someone who tells me they love me, and that's what really matters.

This year we met some friends for dinner. It was lovely, a catered affair at a downtown location with several different wines. Two of the other couples I know quite well; the third couple I know, but not as well. Well, I knew her years ago. Under very different circumstances. So it was nice to get to get reacquainted. In a good way.

Went for drinks after dinner and ran into some other friends. Came home, caught Alec Baldwin (love him!) and Jonas Brothers on SNL.

(Just Jonas Brothers - no The. Thanks goodness I have tween daughters to fill me in.)

We saw The Reader at the movies Friday night. It's been a long time since I read the book, so it seemed they had altered it a bit. Not so, I found after pulling out the book Saturday morning. Though they did cut one scene that, to us, seemed of critical importance. And I cannot for the life of me figure out why, unless they thought showing it might give too much away.

Today Gary and I went to the hardware store sans children, then came home to see the all scatter. So we had another hour to ourselves. It was strange to be alone in the house on a Sunday afternoon. But in a good way. Though I'm not quite ready for the house to be completely empty. Not yet.

That's pretty much it around here. Just feeling content after a nice weekend. Still hating the kitchen, but that will change soon.

60 Minutes is calling ...

The Valentine's box

2009-02-13T04:54:00.000-08:00

I am somewhat challenged in the craft department. It's a tough admission for the mother of three daughters, but alas, it is none the less true.

My own mother used to make this claim. She should have given herself more credit - I got even less of this gene than she did. And really, she did remarkably well. She was my Girl Scout troop leader and did very well. And she managed to come up with some of the cutest Valentine's Day boxes ever.

This was back in the day when we all made our boxes at home and brought them to school for a little contest. Kids with creative-type parents were lauded; those whose parents were more challenged had dull, uninspired boxes.

Lucky for me, my mom could help me create some good ones. One year we made a castle, which was a huge hit with my classmates.

My favorite, though, has always been the Valentine's Day train. And I can even remember how to make it.

So, armed with these supplies, Sylvia and I set out to make her Valentine's box:

This was our prototype - a few years ago, after never having to make a Valentine's box with my own children, I thought the girls should see that I actually am capable of making something that looks decent.

Sylvia and I worked yesterday afternoon, and this was the end result:

I could have just sent her with the old one, but that wouldn't have been the same - it was about making a Valentine's box for Sylvia.

She set off for school today, Valentines and box in hand. I will show up at 10 to attend her party, armed with red velvet cupcakes with pink and red sprinkles.

Making Sylvia happy is such a simple task these days. And it makes me happy, too.

Rain

2009-02-11T12:11:00.000-08:00

I never know what kind of shoes to wear when it rains.

I suppose if it were 50 years ago, then I would put on my boots or galoshes or rubbers or whatever you called them. Perhaps if I wore Crocs, those would work. As it is, most of my shoes are leather, and getting them soaking wet, in rains such as we are having today, is just not appealing.

But wear the leather shoes I did - not sure what my options were. Going barefoot doesn't seem like the best choice.

I had hoped that extending the back of our house 10 feet might magically cure the mini-flood we get in our basement when it rains. No such luck. It's not really a flood so much as a trickle, a small stream of water that comes in and flows directly to the drain. It's not a big deal, but all the same, I guess I wish it weren't there.

Yet it is. I have to deal with it.

I keep telling myself that when this work is all done I'll be able to focus better on the tasks at hand, that my house will be all tidy and organized, that I'll just be extra-productive around here. I'll finish all these projects, and I'll get busy with some of that writing I say I'm going to do. That's my intention, anyway.

And I do think that once my house is in order, I'll be able to focus better. I need an organized environment for my mind to function properly - some people are not affected by clutter or mess, but most people I know are and have difficulty concentrating when surrounded by a mess. That's me. And I feel surrounded by mess - two sets of table and chairs in my dining room, an upstairs hallway full of Sylvia's books, a kitchen that is overflowing.

It's becoming tiresome to write, and tiresome to read. But it's a fact, and it's hard for me to get over it when it stares me in the face. Every. Day.

The rain has stopped and the sun is peeking out. A little sunshine does wonders for the soul.

Yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as a stupid question

2009-02-10T14:32:00.000-08:00

When you're a kid, they tell you in school that there is no such thing as a stupid question.

I'm afraid I beg to differ. This note appeared on my former neighborhood's message board:

"My son's coach at the middle school has requested he join athletics. I need to
arrange a physical for him. I guess he can go to his regular doctor for
this?"

How can you have parented a child for 12 years and not know where to take him for a physical? Really, what is this woman thinking?

I guess stupid comes in all different varieties. Especially out in the 'burbs.

Wm. Shakespeare's Five and Twenty Random Things Abovt Me

2009-02-09T20:19:00.000-08:00

(I laughed and laughed when I read this - a friend posted it on her Facebook page. Cracked me up. And still does every time I read it.)

The meme is older than anyone guessed! Here it is, something I just dug up at the library: the First Folio edition of...
Wm. Shakespeare's Five and Twenty Random Things Abovt Me

1 Sometimes I Feele so trapp’d by iambic pentameter ... Does that make me a Freake?

2 I haue been Knowne to cry at Bear-baiting.

3 I am not uery ticklish. I am Not. So prithee, do not euen try. Waste. Of. Time.

4 I cannot keep Lice, and know not why.

5 Sometimes I thinke plays are all Talke, Talke Talke, and wish for a cart-chase scene. I tried one in The Merry Wives, but it looked like Shitte, so I cut it. The men playing the horses were so Pissed at me.

6 I once threw vp on a man's head, from a high Windowe. I was so fvcking Sicke that Daye.

7 I hate to wear a Ruff, for I haue such a pleasing Necke.

8 As a player, I am painful-slow to learn my part. Once whilst playing Edward I, I used the prompter so ouermuch that a groundling yell’d ~ Stop interrupting, Will! And it was my Dadde. (Kydding!)

9 Sometimes when I am Stvck for a rhyme, I new-mint a Worde because I jvst want to get the Damned script ovt the fvcking doore.

10 I play the Flute yet poorly, but I can make any crumhorn beg for Mercy.

11 When I am happy I call Anne my Kicky-wicky. When I am cross I call her “Olde Fun Killer Hag-Ass.”

12 I keepe my Stashe hidden in our seconde best bedde. Shhh. Don’t tell the Fyve-Oh.

13 The people that loue my Wordes the best are always the most disappointed vpon meeting me. Is thisse List ouer yet?

14 On the topic of dating, my daughter Susanna loues to remind me: ~Jvliet was only thirteen! And I remind her that i) she was Italian, an impulsive race ii), she was actually played by a middle-aged Eunuch named Ned, and iii) she died. That always shvts her right vp.

15 I deteste it when the Low-Comedians improuise the scenes I writ them… becavse they always make them so mvch fvnnier.

16 I haue, on occasion, thovght abovt hiring a Boy to fixe my Latin.

17 When I was sixe, my Goode-Friend Charles brovght to Schoole a wood-cut of his mother, qvite naked. After that we called him Charles Nudie-Mummy, whiche did make him Crye.

18 I take my eggs ouer-medium. If I get them O’er-Easily, I tell my Porter, ~You may thinke this is what I ordered, but it’s snot. I thinke that one is a real Slap-A-Th’Knee.

19 I work ovt my calues thrice weekly, usvally three pyramid sets of Calf-Rises whilst holding a flagon of Meade. I knowe I should stretch afterwards, but it Bores me so I do it not.

20 As a boy in my Bed, I would shriek i’the night that Witches wovld come to eat me. My Mother (bless her) wovld smooth my Hair and whispr ~ Be not afear’d, the Witches onlie eat the Jews.

21 Whitsuntide has become so commercial.

22 Nobody euer forgets where they were the moment they heard that Thomas Kyd died. I was shopping for codpieces in West Cheape. I came ovt of the Change-room and the proprietress was i’tears. I said ~What is it, now?~Kyd is dead. There was a melancholy qviet, and then she said ~And that Piece is a mite too small on ye.

23 Euery time we do the Taming of the Shrew, some pvnter wants his Money backe, because we don’t actually show a shrew getting tamed.

24 I do not vnderstand all the Fvss over Currants. Sure, they are both sweet and Small, but must they bee added to EUERY FVCKING MEAL these days? Yestermonth, found I currants in a Tarte of Spinnedge. I meane come on, People. Seriovsly.

25 When I am feeling Melancholic, I console myselfe with the Knowledge that, aboue all else, I will be remembered for my Musick.

- Credit to Mike McPhaden

And in other fun ...

2009-02-08T15:35:00.000-08:00

Lest you think our entire weekend was devoted to the garage, the answer is, of course not! I also found time to run the vacuum, make the girls run the vacuum, and clean the bathrooms.

The good times here never cease.

We also chose carpet for Maddie's bedroom. We will be painting next weekend, and my contractor told me to have carpet installed on Feb. 23. Maddie gave me her paint chip so I can pick up some samples this week; among the things I've learned in my life is to invest in the small sample - it is well worth $6 to be absolutely certain you like your paint color.

And we brought home five carpet samples to try them out in her bedroom - I wasn't sure I liked her first choice, but by golly, when we got it in her room, away from the showroom lights, it was perfect. They will be here tomorrow to measure.

Progress!

Saturday night was girls night, as my friend Ann invited me to the premiere of the play The Spy, a brand-new play based on a work by James Fenimore Cooper. Lots of fun - I enjoyed catching up with Ann, and the play was very good.

I am passing on 60 Minutes tonight - yes, the landing of the US Airways flight was amazing, but to be honest, I do not need the constant updates on what the crew is up to - how they met for the first time after the crash, how they revisited the scene, their play-by-play of every thought that ran through their heads. Enough is enough. You know, had this happened in the midwest, would it be getting just as much hype?

(I'll also be passing on the interview with the crazy mother of octuplets - she is clearly deranged. I think she and Mrs. Duggar in Arkansas have some sort of narcissistic personality disorder that makes them crave the attention of having newborns. After all, I do have 8 hours of college psychology - I am sure I am more than qualified to analyze others' personality quirks. This interview, however, I think I"ll skip. I have enough crazy in my life without adding her.)

That's it for now - I need to feed my family, pick up my book club book. Happy Sunday, all!

Nice weather = clean garage

2009-02-08T15:12:00.000-08:00

This weekend the weather brought us a brief respite from the throes of winter. It was 55 degrees here yesterday - 55 - and I'm not even tired of the cold yet!

Suffice to say, yesterday and today have been glorious. Which meant, for us, time to clean out the garage.

Sounds simple, but even the simplest of tasks can become complicated. Like when we decided to properly store our awnings. The contractor took them down and placed them in the garage, which was so addled with miscellany that we barely noticed. But the weeks of scraping ice and snow have been encouraging us to figure out a way to clear a space for at least one car, so we had to deal with, among other things, the awnings.

The previous owner had rigged up a system to store the awnings on a platform attached to the roof of the garage with pulleys (it would be too awkward to just hoist them up into the rafters - this I can say with absolute certainty, meaning trial and error). We lowered it with no problem, loaded on the awnings, then went to lift.

We could barely make it budge. Using every ounce of our strength, Alison and I got it about three feet off the floor; Gary was not going to be able to life the other side alone.

After some deliberation (much of which did not involve me and my non-mechanically inclined mind), Gary decided to add additional pulleys. Ah, the joys of being married to an engineer - I realize this is basic physics, nothing of the earth-shattering variety, but my little head just cannot wrap itself around issues that involve machines (even of the simple variety) or indeed, any sort of spatial relations. I am always happy to edit a sentence for grammar or clarity, but when it came to the pulleys, I was just a hindrance.

So this afternoon, Gary finished assembling the new-and-improved pulley system, which involved trips to five hardware stores and much more rope. (I'm thinking a few obscenities must have played a role as well.) When the four of us made an attempt, it went up easy as pie. The awnings are now stored high above our heads.

Success? Well, not quite - adding the extra pulleys added a few extra inches to the entire system, meaning that the garage door could not clear the awning platform. Frustration, until Gary figured out ways to pull the ropes tighter. Now success was the result.

After all that work, I'm thinking we should have just pitched the awnings. I'm not sure we want to use them again, anyway.

So, following the awning storage fiasco, we hauled several old moving boxes stuffed with packing paper to the recycling center; stored the boxes we will need to pack up the kitchen in the shed; cleared out several garage boxes and put away some tools; put all the various basket, volley, and soccer balls in their proper tub; put the bicycles away - some are suspended from the ceiling, some are in the shed; and vowed to, this spring, carefully, carefully sort through every remaining garage box and get rid of the stuff we do not need.

All in all, a successful mid-winter garage cleansing. And when it was all over, I pulled my car into the garage.* With any luck, the contractor will get his few remaining items out of there and we will have two cars in the garage, leaving only Alison parking outside.

Such a good feeling. Even if the end result is only a cleaner garage, it is still making me feel good. As they say, it's the little things in life that truly make us happy. And I have to say, a tidy garage is definitely making me happy.

*I offered the spot to Gary, but he figured, for now, it's simpler for me to park there since I do not leave the house before 7.30 a.m. the way he and Alison do. Plus, it will be warm all week - 60 on Tuesday - so no one will be scraping ice this week.

Everything old is new again

2009-02-07T13:05:00.001-08:00

So. I've spent my week stripping dated wallpaper out of my bedroom. And what is the headline in today's home section? New Advances Make Wallpaper A Trendy Choice.

Really? I think I'll stick to my no-wallpaper design decision - and at this point, I don't think I'll regret it.

*****

We went carpet shopping today. Maddie wants this new shag look. I can live with it - I wouldn't go for a berber or for one that is too tightly cropped, but I could go for a shorter pile. But if this is what she wants, she can have it. And we're generally on the same page for color, so she can choose what she likes. As can Sylvia - their rooms are across the hall, which will be wood, so they don't need to be the same.

Completion. What a radical idea.

What else have I been up to?

2009-02-06T20:51:00.001-08:00

I have not been idle this week: I am ridding my bedroom of this:

The dreaded mauve and blue floral. So big in the 1980s - maybe even in the early '90s - but oh-so-out-of-style these days.

At least not my style.

And look - it gets better, as it is partnered with lace valances. So, so not my style. Though it might have been at an earlier point in my life, just not now.

We even have a wallpaper border - who uses wallpaper borders anymore? Not that there's anything wrong with them - I'm just a little bored with the entire wallpaper phenomenon.

Then again, decorating is very personal - you should go with whatever works for you. This just isn't working for me.

So this is what I've been doing all week. I've been armed with my trusty spray bottle of boiling water and a putty knife, scraping, scraping, scraping. I particularly like how the residual paper has taken the shape of Illinois here.

I have at least three more rooms in which to remove paper: Maddie's bathroom, Sylvia's bedroom, and the kitchen. After this ordeal, should wallpaper come back in style, I will think long and hard before hanging any. Or I'll be paying someone.

But I'm sure the end result will be worth it. I'll let you know.

One project completed

2009-02-06T14:23:00.001-08:00

Old House Journal is very specific when one talks of fixing up an old house. The words remodeling, renovating, and restoring are not interchangeable. Though that is true in any sense - there are no true synonyms, as all words have specific definitions and cannot be used in place of one another without sacrificing some context.

(Sorry - the English major in me has to pop out from time to time.)

I would like to think we are "restoring" our old house, not "renovating" nor "remodeling." Ideally, we are making this house what it used to be, restoring it to its original splendor. But we are also making it better - people in 1880 did not have bathrooms at all, nor did they have lovely kitchen with updated appliances.

OK - any appliances.

When we moved in, we added a third bathroom. It suits our lifestyle - we have been a three-bathroom family for the past nine years, and it's hard to go back. So that was our first order of business.

To do so, we had to evict Maddie from her bedroom. Selfish of us, I know; we sacrificed a bedroom for our daughter so we could have our own bathroom. She is getting her room back (we'll be painting next weekend - !) And ideally, she would have had her room first. But it had to do with our contractor and how he could work this all in. Maddie paid the price ... but we now have our bathroom, so I'm sure she is happy for us.

Three bathrooms. And half-bath downstairs.

I grew up in houses with two bathrooms. For six people. It never seemed strange, nor did it seem crowded. But I am one generation removed from people who barely had bathrooms - my grandparents both lived in houses that clearly added their bathrooms on years after they were built. One of those houses had an additional toilet and shower in the basement, which was not an uncommon practice in those days - it was considered unsanitary to have a toilet up where you lived.

Several of my friends had one bathroom - some didn't even have a shower. One toilet for the whole family. This was not the era of the ensuite master bath, of double vanities, of the separate tub and shower. Life was much simpler.

And you know what? We all survived. My family of six shared one shower, and it never felt like a hardship. Though having a second toilet was handy at times. Especially when someone was in the shower.

The bathroom with the shower was in the basement, nowhere near my bedroom. And once again, it just didn't seem like that big a deal.

What can I say - life has changed. And what I put up with then, I won't now. And I have to say, my life is much easier.

So here goes: Shots of our brand-new bathroom. I won't tell you how much it cost, but I will tell you that it cost nearly as much as our first house cost 18 years ago - wow. And it is totally worth it.

The double vanity. Gary is on the left, I am on the right. Cabinets are cherry with an espresso finish.

My side of the vanity, with the linen closet on the right.

Close up of my sink. Fixtures are in brushed nickel - excellent for hiding water spots. Counter/sinks are cultured marble - again, they camouflage water spots and dirt exceptionally well.

Accent tile detail inside the shower. We used white subway tiles to capture that old-house look.

Accent tile in the bathtub. Note how well it coordinates with the wall color and the countertops - credit goes to my husband for making this recommendation.

The make-up table across from the shower - perfect use of this odd cubbyhole space next to the chimney from downstairs.

The shower. Must have separate tub and shower - ignore my comments from earlier about how we all used to get along with so much less - there is no way I'm hiking my leg over the side of the tub to get in the shower. How much should one put up with every day of one's life? Except for the days I take a bath?

The toilet. Located on its own, behind a pocket door - a necessity if one shares a bathroom. Especially when one shares with one's husband.

Reuse of existing closet shelves - they hold the towels, which now serve dual purpose as beautifully coordinated accent pieces. (Unless they're in the wash - which is often.)

Many thanks to my contractor, who executed our plan, and to our designer, who helped us maximize the space by cramming in every fixture I wanted: two sinks, separate tub and shower, make-up area, and private toilet - we got it all! Gary and I will take credit for choosing colors, tile, fixtures, and the overall coordination. It turned out great - modern enough, yet, ideally, still in the style of our century-old home.

Many more updates in the days ahead!

The Eternal Renovation Project

2009-02-06T13:13:00.000-08:00

House renovation is a long process.

Even longer when you're living in said house.

The one thing that keeps me going? That if we were doing this work ourselves, it would be taking even longer. Costing less? Maybe - I'm not even sure I could say that. The emotional cost would be much, much higher.

It is all wearing on me. The constant clutter, the noise, the lack of order. The chaos. The cost.

Not to mention the very ugly kitchen. It is small - too small for my liking - but I think I could live with that if it weren't so outdated. It is hard to keep clean - it is so very difficult to motivate us to keep things tidy. We can't fit everything in the cabinets, so we're already three steps back. Factor in the ugly cabinets, the chipping, peeling floor, the burned countertops and the ancient, breaking down appliances, and you being to understand just why, why we hate it so much.

It's all changing. Today we ordered the new cabinets. Zinn! Zinn! I feel so light when I type that word - the Zinn cabinet people are changing my life. Trust when I say it is so much more than just cabinets - they are truly altering the way I will see my kitchen and my food preparation for ever more.

And it cannot happen soon enough for me. When we moved in, all of our 20-plus-year-old appliances were functioning, albeit barely. We are slowly losing them:

- the built-in microwave quit
- the garbage disposal no longer works
- the oven does not heat up properly
- the burners on the stove may - or may not - work properly
- and - new this week - the dishwasher leaks. It was already borderline functional - the dishes must essentially be scrubbed prior to loading, and it is installed on a slope - the racks slide out on their own when the door is opened. Be there to catch them or watch your dishes end up on the floor.

This leaves only the refrigerator working as it should.

Lest you think I complain too much, here are photos of our barely functioning kitchen. Please note disarray on countertops - there is nowhere to put this crap. And no incentive to do so.

View of the stove, standing in front of the tiny bathroom. Note the non-functioning built-in microwave, along with its counterpart, the new microwave, which now takes up valuable (non-existent) counter space. Note, too, the "vintage" look of the appliances - late 70s? early 80s? Either way, it spells N-O-T-W-O-R-K-I-N-G.

A close-up of the microwave; it is completely broken. It was a space-saver before space-savers were cool. The door handle is broken. The kids were outraged that there was no popcorn button - I suspect this microwave predates microwave popcorn by some years.

A view of the sink. I actually love the windows here (hard to see, but they are kind of cool, and we will likely, at some point, make the side windows into casements). The dishwasher is wretched (see above). The sink has one deep side and one shallow - how are you supposed to wash dishes in that thing? Countertops hold all the appliances that will not fit anywhere else. The cabinets are only about 30 inches tall, but we have nearly 10-foot ceilings. Wasted space. They are also ugly, a minor detail that was probably not lost on most.

View from the sink of the tiny bathroom. The behemoth of an island takes up any floor space that might otherwise exist. But I can't rip it out because without it, where do I put the rest of our stuff?

The back wall will disappear - the new addition is behind it. And here is what our kitchen will look like (more or less) when we're done:

No, we will not have blue cushions on our barstools. Nor will we have light blue countertops or green floors (it's just a computer rendering). But you get the idea - think hickory cabinets with antique bronze bin pulls, dark granite countertops, and stainless steel appliances, slate floor and slate backsplash. Undermount stainless steel sink. Walls in a terra cotta color. Pendant lights over the bar.

Patience. It all requires patience. But the reality is getting closer.

Honesty

2009-02-04T10:39:00.001-08:00

Everyone is out there these days - on Facebook, on blogs. Yet so many people are not genuinely there.

I am frustrated by the amount of dishonesty I see in the aforementioned media. People feel a strong need to make themselves appear as they would like others to see them, rather than as they really are.

I read a lot of blogs, many written by people I've never met in person, per my blog group. Over the past year, I have seen at least five of these women get divorced. And not a single one of them ever, ever, before the divorce, alluded to the fact that there was trouble in their marriage.

One writes about how she left her husband, and as she tells it, it is all his fault. Three of the others just one day, suddenly, write, We're divorcing.

This comes after weeks, months, years of entries about how perfect their lives were. I don't necessarily expect people to bare their souls, but come on - it cannot have been perfect one day and over the next.

Two blogs I read are women who are very up front about the fact that their husbands cheated on them and they have stayed in the marriage, working hard every day to restore the trust they once had. They deal with how hard it is, the recurring doubt, the frustration with the other woman. I appreciate their candor; it makes their writing so much more intense, makes them more real people.

My favorite (or least favorite) is the sanctimonious blog written by a woman who clearly has never made a bad decision in her life - go ahead and ask her. She may be divorced, but I guess we gloss over that (must have been his fault). Her kids are perfect (thanks to her - which she also mentions) and her life is perfect.

(And why do I continue to read this? Maybe for the same reason I read Cal Thomas or Jonah Goldberg - punishment.)

But she says awful things about her children's father, which those children can see. How can you talk about someone you were once married to in such a way, especially when he is the father of your children?

It seems as if it would behoove some people (and who knows - maybe I am one of them) to be a little more real, a little less pretentious in writing. If the purpose of a blog is to extol your own virtues and blather about your own accomplishments and perfection, then I want no part of it.

I have to say, I really appreciate my dear friend Tammy, who dealt with a life crisis in her own blog quite gracefully - she did not ignore it or pretend it wasn't happening or wasn't stressful, but chose to focus on what she was learning from it and how she would - hopefully - come out stronger. But also felt free to share that it all kinda sucked.

I much, much prefer this to the friend of mine who made up a ludicrous story about being friends with someone (a major celebrity) back at a time when it could not have been possible - I could draw her a timeline to show that it could not possibly be true. But no need to go there - I can let her struggle with why she feels the need to do this.

Or why someone I know on Facebook has not been honest about their education info. As if changing their year of college graduation makes them a better person - we don't all graduate in four years, so why the cover up? Because it might lend credence to the theory that you aren't infallible, but prone to make errors? In judgment? In life?

Revisionist history. Surely you know that someone out there knows the truth. I just wonder why this need to paint ourselves as perfect. When we all know that the interest in people lies not in their perfection, but in their flaws.

I think I will spend the rest of the day in my very untidy house, reveling in the imperfect human condition.

Nineteen Minutes

2009-02-04T09:57:00.000-08:00

I am not a big fan of Jodi Picoult. So why do I keep reading her books?

Hard to say. Last one I read, I read for a book group. This one, Nineteen Minutes - well, there is no excuse. I read it, but I didn't necessarily enjoy it.

Maybe I am hard to please. But I know good writing. And while Picoult is a decent writer, she is not great. Here are some tips so that she might appeal to a more discriminating reader:

• As she often does, Picoult shifts points of view. But in this book, it becomes annoying to the point of distraction. She shifts among at least eight primary narrators, then throws in six or seven more on occasion, and at least one just once or twice. Enough already - if you're doing it for emphasis, then it has lost its effect.

• Bad editing. Many of the descriptive paragraphs go on way too long, way too gushing, in their telling of mother/child love. And there are mistakes - she says at point they got the dog when the kid was 3, then she says, a few paragraphs later, that this dog had patience and had given pony rides to the same kid at age 2. Error control, please. It wasn't the only one - I just didn't document them all.

• You know early on what happens and, essentially, who the guilty party is. Yet the book goes on for 400 more pages. Something has to happen, right? So you begin to think, Picoult likes to yank the rug out from under you. What is the most outrageous possible explanation, possible outcome in all of this? You think about it, and of course you figure it out. In her attempt at over-the-top suspense, it just feels contrived.

• The books are beginning to feel too formulaic. Too many characters, all involved in this messy scenario, all with one sort of attachment or another to the main characters. It's just too much.

Now that it's done, time to move on to a new book. I have a bookclub pick waiting, but I also need to read Eclipse, No. 3 in the Twilight series. From one book of questionable writing to another ... but I have to know what happens before the rest of world tells me any more details!

When too many is, in fact, too many

2009-01-31T06:35:00.000-08:00

I flipped on the television the other night and caught part of "17 Kids and Counting." the horrendous show about the Duggar family from Arkansas and their passel of children. The mother is my age and just gave birth to baby No. 18, with no plans to quit.

I'm no fan of the Duggars. I know, I should live and let live. And if they kept their life private, then I would be less inclined to comment. But once they took their family onto a cable television program, then it became everyone's business.

I have real issues with their basic child-rearing philosophy, with continuing to just have more and more and more children with very little regard to the consequences. It's impossible to have too many children, they say; "that's like saying there are too many flowers." Not a good analogy - flowers can be left in a garden, watered from time to time, and merely gazed upon for enjoyment. When you're rearing children, they need to be looked upon as individuals, not as one tiny part of a group. They need time and attention, something those kids are not getting.

They are extremely conservative; the girls wear only skirts, don't cut their hair, and they have some odd dating/courtship ritual that precludes any physical contact before marriage - not even a kiss. Which is all OK, if that's what you believe.

But my biggest gripe? Their claim that they watch "very little television." Yet they have their children on a cable show? It says exploitation to me. Obviously, they could not afford to have all these children and maintain any sort of standard of living (which includes a giant house, bus, and multiple appliances - much of which was provided through donations/corporate sponsorship), thus they are willing to prostitute out their kids to a medium they disdain in order to make a buck.

Appalling.

Yes, Mrs. Duggar, it is possible to have too many children. A sentiment I would love to pass on to the anonymous mother of brand-new octuplets. This woman gave birth to eight infants. And - surprise - she already had six children at home under age 7.

Even without the six children already at home, multiple births such as this are nothing to celebrate. I think it is irresponsible of physicians to allow this to happen. Yes, it can be controlled, by not implanting more than a designated number of embryos - two? three? - during an IVF cycle.

It is so dangerous for the mother and the potential babies. Women end up on bed rest, their bodies overwhelmed with trying to sustain this many fetuses. The babies are cramped, competing for space and nutrients, and often the competition is detrimental for some of the fetuses, with some taking over. The mother is on medication to delay preterm labor, and she is faced with possible organ failure (kidneys are overtaxed), heart problems, and high blood pressure.

And this is in a best-case scenario. You hear about the success cases, but you do not read about all the failed multiple pregnancies.

Women are always offered the chance to reduce the number of fetuses they are carrying. Some women refuse, likely because they are troubled by the idea of "aborting" any of their babies. But as one medical ethicist put it, this is not like abortion, as the outcome here is not terminating a pregnancy, but guaranteeing a healthy birth for the mother and any other babies. As one woman put it, after several miscarriages, she knew she had the option of carrying two or three babies to term or none - the six or seven in her would never be born.

Bobbie McCaughey, the mother of septuplets in Iowa, said she could not reduce her fetuses because it was "God's will" they be born. So, she was willing to accept medical intervention to get pregnant, but suddenly it was up to God? Maybe God didn't want her to get pregnant in the first place - you can't pick and choose when divine intervention is appropriate and when medical science takes over.

Typically, these children are born with multiple health issues. They are already premature, requiring neonatal care and a team of physicians; they must remain in the hospital for weeks, and they often have health problems throughout their lives, and learning disabilities. Not always, but often.

And who pays for this? Who paid for the team of 46 health care providers who helped deliver those babies? Who will care for them as infants, when the mother is overloaded (she already has six other children)? Who pays for the diapers, the formula? Will she expect corporate donors to kick in?

And what kind of physician allowed fertility treatments for a woman with six children? Fertility does not appear to have been an issue in the past.

I find this entire scenario beyond troubling. Medicine has done great things for people, and I certainly respect that some women are able to have families that they might not have been able to have years ago. But we need some limits and some responsibility.

One baby is a blessing. But at some point, it is possible to have too much of a good thing.

Movies, tolerance

2009-01-31T06:07:00.000-08:00

I am ambivalent about the Oscars. But I still use the Academy Awards as an excuse to see a bunch of good movies.

We're checking out the nominated films. This was something I could not do a few years ago - when you include a babysitter, the cost of a movie very often was prohibitive.

But no more babysitters (only my daughters, who do not get the same compensation as an outsider - they need to earn their keep). So far we've seen Slumdog Millionaire, Frost/Nixon and, as of last night, Milk.

I have liked them all, and I loved Milk. Sean Penn was amazing - he was completely transformed. And as much as I want Frank Langella to win (I like to spread the awards around), Penn was really good, and I won't be disappointed if he takes home the prize.

It was moving, too, to watch the struggle for gay rights. I do not believe in discrimination of any sort, and this certainly includes gays and lesbians - how they can be denied their civil rights based on their sexuality is hard for me to fathom. There is no basis in law for denying them the same rights as everyone else - and yes, that includes the right to marry, to adopt children, to serve in the military.

The film brought this all home, along with the tragic death of Harvey Milk. It's a film that could not have been made 20 years ago. We are seeing progress, albeit slowly. Thank goodness for our children, who are being brought up to be much more tolerant than previous generations.

Catching Up

2009-01-28T12:09:00.000-08:00

Living with construction is wearing on me. I feel cluttered, messy, crowded.

But we're plugging on. I think my head will clear substantially when this is all done. Let's hope so.

Which doesn't mean life isn't busy and satisfying. It is very busy and very satisfying, while being simultaneously cluttered and messy.

(And I have a bedroom - poor Maddie.)

• We saw Alison star in the Jefferson Players murder mystery theater last week. She played Melanie, the sweet and innocent Southern Belle who is neither sweet nor innocent. She and the lawyer were clearly in cahoots and, while they were not the killers, during the Thursday performance, the entire audience voted them the guilty parties. It was fun. Even if I did have to eat Fazolis.

• Saturday night Gary and I saw "Frost/Nixon." Loved it. Frank Langells was fantastic - and the entire movie was fascinating.

• I won one game of Mah Jongg yesterday. Linda won 9. I came home much poorer.

• We have five inches of snow on the ground today. But the sun is shining, and I shoveled the walks, so no complaints here. Still not hating winter.

• Book group tonight: When The White House Was Ours, by Porter Shreve. Quite liked it.

And after those few words, I am spent. I have all sorts of thoughts running through my head, but some I can't share, and others I just won't.

Must run - nearly time for flute lessons. And I'm the driver. Let's see if I can clear my head.

First Fashion

2009-01-28T11:32:00.000-08:00

Michelle Obama is a smart woman. Very smart - Princeton, Harvard Law.

So why are we reducing her to her fashion sense?

I hate to be this way - it's the 21st century, and we should be moving beyond judging women based on what they wear.

But we have to face facts: Clothing does say something about who we are. You wouldn't show up at a job interview in shorts, and you wouldn't wear a tux to a backyard BBQ.

In general, First Ladies have looked lovely at their husbands' inaugurations. I recall Hillary Clinton and Laura Bush both being criticized for what they wore, and it seems a little petty. These women are not fashion models. And what they wore looked fine - perfectly appropriate. Their ball gowns were tasteful, if not necessarily my style.

The only gown I can think of that I didn't like was Nancy Reagan's first one - the off-the-shoulder look was not only unflattering, but much too youthful, I thought, for someone of her age. I thought Laura Bush chose something much more dignified - and she got a lot of flack for it.

(Don't get me wrong - I have my issues with Mrs. Bush. But her clothing is not something I have a problem with.)

I like Michelle Obama for any number of reasons. And I'll go ahead and include the way she dresses. She wears some pricey pieces, and for others, she spends what I might spend - I love the black and white dress she wore on The View, though I'm not sure I'd call it a "bargain" at $150 - I'm not sure your average working woman would find that affordable. I like that she frequents J Crew, and I like that she makes a fashion statement that is a little more youthful. I'm not always a big fan of the print dresses she chooses, though I like some, but I do like that she doesn't always wear heels.

For the inaugural festivities, I thought she looked fantastic. I really liked the ensemble she wore to the concert on Sunday - that was a winner. It was such an appropriate, classy look, that it left me wondering what she would wear on the big day.

I admit, when I first saw the sparkly gold sheath, I was not certain. But after a second glance, I became a fan. I liked the color, and the style is very flattering on her. I also liked the touch of the green shoes and gloves.

(Last year, I bought a sparkly coat of my own, to wear to a formal event. The saleswoman told me I could wear it anytime - the sparkly look is "in" for daywear. I repeated this to Carol and Kitty at the inauguration party we attended, in defense of Michelle as we were making up our minds. They both said they were fairly sure the saleswoman had pulled a number on me. Doesn't matter - I have yet to wear it during the day. But I can now pull out Michelle as my role model when I do.)

So after scoring on her daytime choice, I was anxious to see what the would wear for the balls. And I have to say, I was a little disappointed.

I like that she chose a little-known designer, 26-year-old Jason Wu. I like that she did not spend a fortune ($1500 - once again, not a bargain for your average American, for in the world of high fashion, a steal).

For me, it was a little too "girly." The train was too long (he stepped on it while dancing) and a little too "romantic" and phooey looking. I would have chosen for her something a little more fitted, a little bolder color, a bit more sophisticated. However, this isn't the Oscars. I am glad that she did not wear black.

Mostly, I am glad that is clearly being her own person. She looks fantastic, and the girls are cute as can be. She is a different kind of First Lady, and I am so glad we have her in the White House for the next four years.

Welcome, Mr. President

2009-01-21T14:59:00.000-08:00

It was a day of celebration, if ever a day for celebration was.

Around 300 people gathered at the historic downtown Lafayette Theater where we could, on the big screen, watch Barack Obama make history.

It would have been historic to watch anyone sworn in - only 42 other people (all man, by the way) have ever taken this oath of office. But it was so much more - he is, of course, the first African-American president, sworn in just days after the anniversary of the birth of Martin Luther King Jr., who did not live to see his dream fulfilled.

But it was also a day of mass celebrating, for the entire country, as watched the dawning of a new era - one that brings change, promise, and hope.

President Barack Obama entered office following the most unpopular president in history - George W. Bush's disapproval ratings were as high as 68 percent (according to polling date from CNN, the Pew Foundation, ABC/Washington Post, and NBC/Wall Street Journal). Obama comes in with approval ratings as high as 80 percent - and for someone who won this election with just over 50 percent of the vote, that says something about the country's expectations and attitudes toward this man.

Yesterday was all about celebrating. This is why we gathered with friends to watch this historic occasion, why my children all watched it on live television in the middle of the school day, why 2 million people made the trek to Washington DC. They knew they would not be able to get close enough to see, that they would be watching on giant television screens, standing in the cold for hours. But they just had to be there, to be part of that electric atmosphere.

(Incidentally, District of Columbia police reported no arrests yesterday - amazing.)

I've heard rumblings about the amount of money spent on inaugurations. And it's true - they are pricey. But I think it is important. First of all, few people ever achieve this high office. And for them, I think a little celebration is in order - they deserve to have their family and friends there to watch them cement a place in history. Plus, the money comes from private donations, and it's hard to believe that people would donate that money for any other purpose.

There is also the issue of the peaceful transfer of power, something not trivial and not to be overlooked. In 1993, Bill Clinton rode to the inauguration with the man he defeated; Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan did the same. All was civil; no gunshots were fired, no troops intervened, and the old and new presidents sat down for coffee together before making the trip to the Capitol. Together.

But I also think it's about us. I wanted to watch the pomp and circumstance. I wanted to watch the new President and First Lady walk the parade route; I wanted to watch the parade and the balls and the pageantry. And clearly, 2 million Americans felt even more strongly than I that this was their day, and they wanted to see it first-hand.

I was pleased that my children watched these events unfold at school. I remember sitting in history class in ninth grade, watching Ronald Reagan's swearing in. These moments are important, regardless of whom one voted for - I watched Bush sworn in, then Clinton, and even W. It's part of what makes this nation great.

That said, I think second inaugurations should be scaled back - way back. No balls, no parade, no excessive hoopla. You had the party atmosphere the first time, but I think the rest is a bit of overkill; it might be more appropriate to not repeat some of the pageantry.

We cheered when we saw the Clintons and Carters; we cheered when we learned that Obama had officially become president at noon, regardless of whether or not he had taken the oath. We cheered even louder when Bush boarded that helicopter and left.

Mostly, we just cheered. I was among friends, and we felt an intense kinship and camaraderie. We laughed and cried, hugged and cheered.

It was a great day - one of those days when you really feel proud to be an American. As I listened to the eloquent words spoken by our new president, I saw the image of the United States changing. This man (who, as he pointed out, is the son of a man who, a mere 45 years ago, could not have been seated in some restaurants) will bring us to a new place. We will, once again, become a country that other countries around the world respect. He spoke of treating all people as equal, of dealing with the challenges ahead, of ushering in a new and different attitude. No more torture, no more wiretapping and detainees. Stem cell research will be funded, and low-income women will have access to reproductive health care.

It's a new day. I am so proud to have been here to see it.

The Messy Desk

2009-01-19T13:36:00.000-08:00

The mess has creeped back into my house.

Just before Christmas, we entertained Gary's office group here, at our house, with snacks and drinks. And I have to say, this place looked pretty good. All things considered, anyway - we are living with extra furniture everywhere, a hideously ugly and small kitchen, construction debris, and general chaos and confusion.

Yet I pulled it together (I say "I" because, let's face it, our girls contribute as little as is humanly possible in the way of housework and basic tidying, and Gary has another full-time vocation). I had this place looking pretty good.

Even my desk here in our downstairs office looked good - no clutter, no mess, no accumulation of mail and school notes and papers and random bits of miscellany.

Fast-forward, and my desk has lapsed, yet again, into an unspeakable state. It looks horrific. I would take a photo and post it, but I hate for anyone to see how, well, horrific it looks. As it is truly horrifying.

I like to think of myself as a tidy person. But considering what my bedroom, kitchen, and office look like at this moment, I'm not sure I can legitimately make that claim anymore. (Though my bathroom is very orderly.) I like to blame it on all the work we have going on; I think I'll be milking that excuse for the next year. Maybe two.

I swear it will all be different when the remodeling is done. Whenever that is.

In any event, I should, right now, be tidying the afore-mentioned untidy desk. But I'm not. This morning I had my usual morning stuff to do, then later Gary and I made a trip to the hardware store, where we picked up light fixtures (two for outside our new backdoor and one for the third floor computer area - previous owners took that light with them and we hadn't bothered to replace it until now). We looked at floor tile and back splash tile and kitchen light fixtures and, as I anticipated, we agreed on everything - we are compatible in that way, in that we have similar taste. Similar good taste - well, good taste is relative and somewhat subjective, but it certainly does cut out the conflict when we tend to gravitate toward the same colors, textures, and styles.

And now? When I should be desk cleaning? Well, I made a phone call to check in on a friend, I answered some much-delayed e-mail questions, and I am now going to go throw a load of clothes in the wash. I need to make sure Daughter No. 2 is ready to go to swim practice. And I need to go finish rearranging the sweaters I took down from the shelf in my closet, in an attempt to make additional room for Gary to stash some of his stuff away. (Apparently, I am hogging too much of the closet space. Which is silly - we have five closets in our bedroom, plus an armoire. I need to find some space for my husband.)

The desk will be here when I finish all of those tasks. If not - well, tomorrow is another day.

And, from past experience, I know it will just get messy again. Kind of hard to get motivated in that case. But I will.

Right after I finish these other tasks. I swear.

Happy Birthday, Gary

2009-01-17T20:51:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday, Gary!

I am - for once - at a loss for words. How do I tell someone who means this much to me to merely "have a terrific birthday"?

I am not even sure where to begin.

When I was in college, my father jokingly gave me the rundown on whom not to date: Don't date pre-med students, but only those who have been accepted into med school. No pre-law students - they're a dime a dozen. No teachers or liberal arts majors; no engineers, as the jobs are too high stress.

He then was serious with this advice: Look for someone with good character, he told me. The rest will fall into place.

He was absolutely right. I fell in love with the man with good character. And it has paid off - I have a husband who treats me well and is good with our girls. He has an excellent job, does not spend money foolishly, and makes good decisions related to our finances. He is honest and caring. And he is a great father, which is worth mentioning twice. He is handy around the house; he likes to watch sports but also likes to watch foreign films with me. He likes to fish and bike, but he also loves to visit museums or see Broadway shows with me.

In other words, he is perfect for me. Even if I do have to pick up his dirty clothes off the floor. Several times a week. It's a small price to pay.

Happy Birthday. And just remember: I'll always be younger than you.

Number crunching

2009-01-17T14:44:00.000-08:00

Have you ever:

- Bought something you did not need that you probably should not have spent the money on?
- Spent much more on a major purchase than you planned (house, car)?
- Spent more on house repairs/remodeling than you planned?
- Lived to not regret these expenditures?

The answers? Yes, yes, oh yes, and yes.

Our first house cost $40,000 back in 1990. Even then, it was not a lot of money. We sank quite a bit into it, but we made it all back when we sold it five years later. Our second house cost somewhat more. Then, on house No. 3, we had a limit a very high limit, for us - on what we could spend ... which we exceeded by $10,000. Then came the house in Houston, where I didn't feel so bad about it - the house looked like a very, very expensive place, but because we were out in the suburbs it was actually much less.

(Though it was odd, too, as people got the wrong impression - my uncle visited and, upon entering, said, wow, this must have cost $600,000. It made me cringe and want to tell him how much we actually spent. Then I worried that my in-laws would think the same thing. We didn't ever tell people, but I don't like that people think we would really spend that much on a house.)

So here we are on house No. 5. We spent less - quite a bit less - than the Houston house. But we are doing a lot of work. Bunches of work. (Which is wearing on me - we are looking at six months of remodeling so far.)

Today we sat down and finalized our plans. Meaning, we made the decision about which kitchen cabinets to get.

Now, I am somewhat of an expert on remodeling. I am, A, living through this project and B, we have done the major old-house-rehab before. Additionally, I have watched many, many hours of HGTV and This Old House. Plus we used to subscribe to Old House Journal - what other qualifications are required to be an expert?

In any event, I know how to do things right (read: I have watched My House is Worth What, so I know what the real estate experts will say). I know that kitchens and bathrooms are where it's at, that you do not want to own the most expensive house on the block, that you do not want to leave some rooms undone.

Thus, armed with this knowledge, with this expertise, I sat with Gary and we finalized our remodeling budget. I hate to cut corners on a job this big; I do not want to look back and think, oh, we should have gotten a different counter top or backsplash - things that are way too pricey to change. It's one thing to paint a whole, to change cabinet knobs, but a whole different story when it comes to tiling a floor.

So we looked at prices and numbers and made final decisions:

- Slate floors
- Slate backsplash
- Granite tile countertops (though they look like solid granite)
- Undermount kitchen sink (though it does raise the price of the countertops, as the inside edge around the sink must be finished)
- And ... for the cabinets: We are going with Zinn.

If you are from here, you know the significance. Zinn is *the* name in kitchen cabinets. When you read the real estate listings, they are always sure to mention "Zinn kitchen." They are custom, completely designed for your kitchen, made locally. You choose the door design, the wood, the finish. They will install the hardware you want and come change it if you don't like it. They design every element of your kitchen.

Yes, they are more expensive. But their prices include installation and, because designing cabinets is a service, they charge no sales tax. So when you look at their prices vs. others, the difference is not as significant as you might have thought.

Plus, they are guaranteed - if something should break or need to be fixed, they will do it for us forever.

These are not just cabinets - the Zinn people are artisans. These cabinets will be a work of art, just for us, for our house.

Clearly, I have totally bought into the whole Zinn sales spiel. But it's all true - trust me. Or just talk to anyone who has ever had a Zinn kitchen. Which I have - back in our first Lafayette house. It was old, from the late 60s or early 70s. The cabinets were very simple, and they only looked slightly dated (the finish was a little shiny). But no one had ever changed them - the cabinets were very sturdy; they were a quality product.

It's all falling into place. It's costing us for sure; we will spend as much adding 520 sf as we spent on an entire house (and we're talking house No. 2, not the first house). We are spending more than my friend just spent on her dream house, a lot more than my in-laws entire house is worth.

And we still need to refinish floors and paint three rooms. Install a new garage door. Rebuild our deck.

But it's what we want. We will end up with an 1880 house with fantastic woodwork, three fireplaces, and living room built-ins; we will have a four-room master suite with bathroom, dressing room, fireplace and five closets. We will have the old house charm of a formal dining room but a fabulously updated eat-in kitchen, a third-floor game room and four bedrooms.

In short, it will be the perfect home for our family. Which is all anyone could ask for.

Winter days, cheery days

2009-01-17T14:33:00.001-08:00

Yeesh. It's not as if this week has been that busy. Busy enough, but just a normal week.

Except that we had two extra days off. Snow days. Or, more accurately, cold days. The radio said 21 below zero at 6 a.m. Friday. The airport only reported 15 below, but at that point it hardly matters - cold is cold. I was more than happy to stay inside for the day.

(Though the girls were bored. Thursday was a novelty, but by Friday, they had had enough of being cooped up at home. By noon we were back into positive temps, so a trip to Target and the mall seemed in order.)

Last weekend we hung with friends, and tonight we are headed out again. Not sure just what tomorrow holds, but we'll find plenty to do on our five-day weekend.

Winter has not dragged me down yet - despite the frigid temperatures, I am still enjoying this part of the year.

How's that for some optimism? I guess it's just that kind of day - the kind brimming with sunshine (literal and figurative), happiness, and lots of positive vibes. Maybe the anticipation of Tuesday's goings-on has me keyed up.

Whatever the reason, I'm just enjoying my ebullient spirits. Cheers to all - three days and counting!

100 Things

2009-01-11T08:00:00.000-08:00

I am lazy today. Once again. So, courtesy of a blog group member, I have the following list of possible accomplishments. Something about this feels like braggadocio, but it doesn't appear to be stopping me. I guess because I have not done *everything* on this list, so I can claim some humility.

RULES: There are 100 statements and you capitalize the ones you have done. Grab it and play for yourself!!

1. STARTED YOUR OWN BLOG
2. SLEPT UNDER THE STARS
3. PLAYED IN A BAND
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. GIVEN MORE THAN YOU CAN AFFORD TO CHARITY
7. BEEN TO DISNEYLAND (does Disneyland Paris count? or Disneyworld in Orlando?)
8. Climbed a mountain (I've climed on a mountain - not really the same thing)
9. Held a praying mantis
10. SANG A SOLO
12. VISITED PARIS
13. Watched a lightening storm at sea
14. TAUGHT YOURSELF AN ART FROM SCRATCH
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning (No regrets here)
17. WALKED TO THE TOP OF THE STATUE OF LIBERTY (can't do it anymore!) (People have added that caveat, yet I have done it - twice - 1974 and 1992)
18. GROWN YOUR OWN VEGETABLES
19. SEEN THE MONA LISA IN FRANCE
20. SLEPT IN AN OVERNIGHT TRAIN
21. HAD A PILLOW FIGHT
22. Hitchhiked (Once again, no regrets ... though, do you count being picked up when you're stranded for car touble? Hmmm)
23. TAKEN A SICK DAY WHEN YOU'RE NOT ILL
24. BUILT A SNOW FORT
25. HELD A LAMB
26. GONE SKINNY DIPPING
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. SEEN A TOTAL ECLIPSE (SOLAR)
30. WATCHED A SUNRISE OR SUNSET
31. Hit a home run (does the Wii count?!?)
32. BEEN ON A CRUISE
33. SEEN NIAGRA FALLS IN PERSON
34. VISITED THE BIRTHPLACE OF YOUR ANCESTORS
35. SEEN AN AMISH COMMUNITY
36. TAUGHT YOURSELF A NEW LANGUAGE (well, I had the help of a tutor and textbook)
37. HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO BE TRULY SATISFIED (It's cliché, but money is not everything)
38. SEEN THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA IN PERSON
39. GONE ROCK CLIMBING
40. SEEN MICHAELANGELO'S DAVID
41. SUNG KARAOKE
42. Seen Old Faithful Geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. VISITED AFRICA
45. WALKED ON A BEACH BY MOONLIGHT
46. Been transported in an ambulance (another non-regret)
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. SEEN THE SISTINE CHAPEL IN PERSON
50. BEEN TO THE TOP OF THE EIFFEL TOWER IN PARIS
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkleing
52. KISSED IN THE RAIN
53. PLAYED IN THE MUD
55. Been in a movie (only the home variety)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. VISITED RUSSIA (I"ll do one better: It was the Soviet Union - can't do that anymore)
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. SOLD GIRL SCOUT COOKIES
62. Gone whale watching
63. GOT FLOWERS FOR NO REASON
66. VISITED A NAZI CONCENTRATION CAMP
67. BOUNCED A CHECK (well, we have overdraft, fortunately)
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. SAVED A FAVORITE CHILDHOOD TOY
70. VISITED THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL
71. EATEN CAVIAR (interestingly, whoever typed this first misspelled caviar - wonder what that signifies)
72. PIECED A QUILT
73. STOOD IN TIMES SQUARE
74. Toured the Everglades
75. BEEN FIRED FROM A JOB
76. SEEN THE CHANGING OF THE GUARDS IN LONDON
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle (and have no desire, to be honest)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person (how sad is that? Though I did see Canyon de Chelly, which is, reportedly, just as lovely, just smaller)
80. Published a book
81. VISITED THE VATICAN
82. BOUGHT A BRAND NEW CAR
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. HAD YOUR PICTURE IN THE NEWSPAPER
85. Read the entire Bible
86. VISITED THE WHITE HOUSE
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (and once again, no desire)
88. HAD CHICKEN POX
89. Saved someone's life (I have taken care of my children for the past 17 years - does that count?
90. Sat on a jury
91. MET SOMEONE FAMOUS
92. JOINED A BOOK CLUB
93. LOST A LOVED ONE
94. HAD A BABY
95. SEEN THE ALAMO IN PERSON
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit (another non-regret)
98. OWNED A CELL PHONE
99. BEEN STUNG BY A BEE
100. READ AN ENTIRE BOOK IN ONE DAY

These are strangely arbitrary. How about, marched on Washington? Volunteered for a political candidate? Stood up for something you believed in? Addressed a local governmental body on an issue, on the record? Confronted injustice in your community? Been a whistle-blower? Spent more than you should to attend a concert? Paid more than you should for a fabulous item of clothing? Sneaked a purchase into the house?

I didn't go back and count - no need, as I'm not keeping score. Not sure if this list is something to be proud of, or goals to which should aspire.

For now, it's just a little mental exercise on a cold Sunday morning.

And again, with the quick blogging

2009-01-07T16:55:00.000-08:00

I'm not very focused of late. I'm a little sidetracked, a little distracted by stuff.

You know, life. Things to do. Tasks and errands and kids and the like. So I am having difficulty getting in the mood to write properly.

I hope I can settle down soon.

In the meantime:

• I almost regret comparing Ann Coulter to a tranny. I meant no disrespect to transsexuals.

She has, apparently, released yet another book, which contains her same ranting and raving, repackaged under a different title. I'll pass, just as I've passed on all the others - when she needs publicity, she'll say something really outrageous and I will read the coverage. That's enough Ann Coulter for anyone.

• Yes, Roland Burris is a case. But he should be seated in the Senate. If he meets the Constitutional requirements - which it appears he does - then he should be sworn in; I don't think the Democratic Congressional leadership has it in their power to deny him. Besides, he didn't actually do anything wrong. Don't blame him.

• Nice parting shot, Mr. Bush, in denying the Obamas the use of Blair House. The White House had said the presidential guest house was "unavailable" when the Obamas requested to move in ten days early so that their children could start school. Turns out, the Blair House has one overnight guest in that time: former Australian prime minister John Howard. Blair House has 119 rooms and 35 bathrooms. Surely some compromise could have been reached; as it stands, the Obamas are staying in a reportedly very nice hotel, but it is outside the White House security cordon, thus the extra security is costing the government.

I know, Blair House is still the prerogative of the president. But it seems a bit petty.

January 20 cannot come soon enough.

Quick bits

2009-01-06T18:21:00.000-08:00

• Roland Burris is something else, no? He is pretty full of himself. Clarence Page said Roland Burris is Roland Burris's biggest fan. And that Burris said he would do "anything" to get that Senate seat. Which he did.

• Only 14 days left in this administration. Counting down.

• Laura Bush wears lipstick that is too dark.

• Ann Coulter looks like a tranny. Please feel free to spread that rumor.

Back to School

2009-01-05T19:44:00.000-08:00

All the girls were up early today, back in the routine, heading out the door for school.

They all seemed to recover from the trauma.

And they weren't alone - apparently two little girls in Washington DC started a new school today. I heard some gripes that this was not news and got too much coverage. But I figure it deserves at least the same amount of air time as Paris Hilton and her jail escapade.

My day was good, too. I secretly enjoy a few hours to myself every day. I can enjoy myself though May.

Sylvia

2009-01-04T19:59:00.000-08:00

"You might think all my Webkinz are just thrown into the basket," Sylvia told me. "But I have them all organized." She then explained to me how they are sorted by type of fur - hair - not quite sure what you call it on a Webkinz.

She has just recently organized her closet - all her shoes are sorted and on shelves.

Who wouldn't love a girl like Sylvia?

Shopping

2009-01-03T19:07:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, I used to get the catalogs from Coldwater Creek and J Jill. I used to flip through them, thinking the clothes were stylish and attractive, and I even imagined myself pulling out the credit card and ordering a thing or two.

I never did it. Mostly because I don't order out of catalogs much - I prefer to see things and try them on. But I always thought the clothes were nice.

Imagine my surprise when, today, I wandered into both of these stores. Our favorite mall in Indy has both of these stores, so I thought I should have a look, see if those post-Christmas sales had anything to offer.

I did. They didn't.

(I know - second trip to Indianapolis in two days? The girls had Christmas money to spend, and our mall here is disappointing (read: no abercrombie. Abercrombie & Fitch, yes, but that's not what the younger two like). Though Alison decided she'd rather shop at Hollister, which was not available at this particular mall. This is what I get for having daughters with my taste.)

I was stunned at the clothes I saw. They were pricey. But more importantly, they were ugly. And old. I saw a perfectly hideous blouse in J Jill - it was made of four semi-coordinating fabrics with an eyelet-like appearance in pastels, and it retailed for $149. And it wasn't even marked down. Who would wear such a thing? I had to drag Maddie back in just to see it.

Coldwater Creek was worse - pricey items, lots of jackets and sweaters in oddly bold colors. And I'm fairly certain I was the only woman in there still menstruating.

And I haven't even gotten to the worst part yet: Chico. I had never heard of this store - and the mannequins in the window, clad in their matching tank tops with open blouses, should have tipped me off. But no, I had to go in and look. The clothing featured the same shocking colors and embroidery. But the sizes were such that I didn't understand them. 0? 1? 2? We finally figured those must indicate the number of decades past 50 you are.

Needless to say, I did not make any purchases. (And my husband dared to suggest that some of the pants looked OK - since when do I wear plum-colored corduroys?)

Lest you wonder what lures me to this mall, let me assure you, it does have good stuff: Brooks Brothers. Ann Taylor. Banana Republic. Apple. Crate & Barrel and Pottery Barn (where we researched sofas). Restoration Hardware. Nordstrom's.

I considered a jacket in Ann Taylor, and finally deemed it too expensive. And then found the perfect dress in Banana Republic. Scored quite a bargain.

And the girls? They hit the mother load at abercrombie, then ventured out to Limited Too/Justice and Pink.

Our sad little mall is yet another of the downsides to living in a smallish city. But I can deal. I save money, and it makes the trip to Indianapolis just that much more exciting.

Which I am already planning. This time, without the girls. Or the husband. It's better that way - trust me.

One down ...

2009-01-02T20:20:00.000-08:00

We took a little road trip tonight - we traveled south on I-65 to the art cinema at Keystone in Indianapolis, the nearest place that is currently screening Slumdog Millionaire.

Excellent flick. Just excellent. It was toss-up between that and Milk. Milk is still on the list. Which also includes Doubt, Revolutionary Road, Gran Torino, The Reader, Frost/Nixon, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Not necessarily in that order.

There is one thing about Houston I miss: the availability of limited release films. The River Oaks Theater was just over 30 minutes from us, and we could be guaranteed to find whatever we wanted to see. Here in medium-sized midwestern town/small city, I can find Twilight and Four Christmases, but none of the independent films we prefer.

This is what I get for trading in the rat race. But it's OK - now I will drive 60 miles to watch a movie about the drudgery of life in the suburbs, rather than living the experience day after day.

It's totally worth the trade-off.

Welcome, 2009!

2009-01-01T17:17:00.000-08:00

A reviewer the other day mentioned a film that is one of the decade's best.

Decade's best, I thought. How can we determine what is the best of the decade when the decade is only half over?

Which is when it hit me: This decade is, in fact, nearly over.

Life spinning by. This is what happens as you get older. I blink my eyes, pause for a moment, and it's six months later. My children are no longer the infants and toddlers who once kept me busy, but middle and high-schoolers who challenge me on multiple levels.

It also means that this construction job that has taken so very long will feel like a mere blip on the year when I look back in six or eight months.

I'm not big on sharing resolutions or plans for the year - some things are best kept to oneself. But I do feel, and share, the air of promise that hangs over us. With a new president, a new administration, in the White House, there is hope and optimism for this country. A new year brings a lot of possibilities, unfulfilled potential, and I am anxious to see what will happen.

Here's a to prosperous 2009. Not just for me, but for all - all Americans, people the world over.

Peace, all.

Lazy Day Redux

2008-12-31T07:04:00.000-08:00

It is 10 a.m. I am sitting here in my pajamas.

I didn't get up terribly early today. Probably because we watched four (count 'em, 4) episodes of 30 Rock last night, then watched some football. I didn't get to bed til late. So here I am, lounging around, having finished the paper and the crossword.

Gary is so much more motivated than I. He's been up for hours and has completed an online training course for work. Now he's getting the roaster oven ready to prepare our turkey.

I need to run to the store (never made it yesterday) and mail a package (once again, didn't get that done). Though I did, in addition to all that laundry, dust my bedroom yesterday.

Tonight, our plans include supervising a passel of pre-teen and teenage girls (we've become the party house) and just hanging out - not sure if we'll watch movies or just see what's on TV. Maybe haul out some board games. We will quietly ring in the new year, whch is just fine with me.

Here's to 2009. May it be a good one.

Lazy Day

2008-12-30T13:59:00.001-08:00

So far today, I've done five loads of laundry.

And ... that's pretty much it. OK, so I read the newspaper, did the crossword, played some Wii, washed my hair. Not very impressive, huh?

But this is what vacation is about. Gary attempted to install new memory in our computer; we got the wrong kind, so it is on its way back, and once the correct version arrives, we'll be in business with a much speedier computer.

In the spirit of total laziness, I am considering ordering pizza for dinner tonight. For the moment, I plan to curl up on the sofa with a book.

Days of leisure. Loving it.

The days in between

2008-12-30T07:19:00.000-08:00

The time between Christmas and New Year's is one of my favorite times of the year. Gary is off work, the girls are on vacation, and the five of us have time to just lie back and enjoy life at a leisurely pace.

We spent a couple of days visiting Gary's parents in Missouri. It feels like stepping back in time - nothing much changes in small-town Missouri. We visited his grandmothers, saw his sister, and did family duty. Though it's never enough for his parents - I always sense an overwhelming sadness that we are not there more often, that we don't call enough or write enough. I also feel that no matter how often we were to call, it would never be enough. And we will likely never live nearer to them than we do. Thus there is this pervading wistfulness that always permeates the visits.

(And there's the lack of bathroom space, not enough hot water, the uncomfortable futon that Gary and I have been relegated to, the cot that Alison sleeps on ... but this is what we have to do. Thank goodness I took David Sedaris along to keep me company.)

Today, Sylvia's best friend from Houston is in town and will spend the day with us. We have a few small errands to run, but other than that, the day is ours. Guitar Hero? DDR? More time with David? Movies? Lots of options.

I promised the girls a trip to Indianapolis, so maybe that will be on the agenda for Friday. We are all armed with Christmas cash, so it sounds like a fun day.

And there other plenty of other fun things on my agenda for today: Laundry, groceries, running the vacuum. Sounds like a party, huh?

I think I need to get hopping ...

Christmas with the kinfolk

2008-12-28T09:47:00.000-08:00

Greetings from Nowhere, Missouri. This is where we travel on the occasional holiday to see Gary's fmaily. They have never, ever visited us over the holidays. They have a routine they enjoy, and it has never varied.

It's their choice. I wouldn't mind if they would spend one holiday with us while the girls are still all home. They have one more year; I dobut it happens.

So this year, after Christmas, we drove south. Here we are, hanging out, doing ... well, not much. Watching a lot of television - but not to worry, as I brought a book and my knitting to keep me busy.

In the meantime, here is one of my favorite Christmas memories, from my college years. Happy Christmas, everyone!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T14:44:00.000-08:00

It's been the merriest of Christmases around here this year. For me, anyway - I can't speak for others.

We've had quite the ritual of parties and get-togethers over the last several days. All have been wonderful, and all of them have made my cooking dinner seem redundant. Thus, I have not cooked. No wonder the past six days have been so much fun for me. All of the events have involved good friends, which is equally wonderful.

Last night we went to the 6.30 p.m. service. We chose that time because it was the only one offered. I personally like the 11 p.m. service, but our church did away with that this year. Which is OK with me for a couple of reasons, one of which is the ability of my children to attend church that late and still be pleasant; it is late for the 10-year-old. There are other reasons as well, but we'll leave it at that.

It was a lovely service - very traditional, lessons and carols. I really enjoyed it; I wonder what others thought. Not to worry - I'll hear all about it.

Today was quiet, just the girls and Gary and me here at home. We were a little subdued - we did not spend tons of money or buy lots of extravagant gifts. Which, once again, is OK with me - big presents and blowing lots of money does not make the holiday any brighter. Our girls got what they wanted (we now have Guitar Hero IV, which, Alison assures me, is far superior to Rock Band. I will have to take her word - I have never played Rock Band). Sylvia has a Nintendo DS, Maddie has an iHome, and Alison is getting a new phone.

Gary and I got small stuff - some new sweaters (which we chose in Indy on Tuesday - great sale prices at Keystone at the Crossing, in all those lovely stores we lack here in Lafayette), CDs, that sort of thing. Nothing pricey (unless you count my new skillets - a gift to us from the dog, who seemed horrified that we have not yet updated our cookware). We figured that with a new kitchen and new appliances on the way that lots of pricey gifts seemed unnecessary.

So we've hung around today, played with the kids, just enjoyed the day. Tonight we are eating fondue. Maybe watching some new DVDs. Mostly, just enjoying being with one another. And reflecting on how very lucky we are to have such great kids, each other, stable employment, and no debt.

Merry Christmas, all. And to all a good night.

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T13:42:00.000-08:00

Having a headache is no way to spend Christmas Eve. But apparently my head did not get this message and does not know that today is an inconvenient way to spend my day.

So I haven't wrapped gifts; I have not made cookies. I have lain on the sofa and napped, hoping this pounding would subside.

Mo dice. It's a bit better, but I am not ready for tomorrow. Sigh. I'll get it together somehow. But wow. This is a drag.

The snow and icy rain have given way to slightly warmer temperatures, but it still feels very cold outside. Brrr.

It's end of the year time. We get lists on the best TV of the year, the best movies, the most interesting people, the must-have music. I am listening to David Bianculli on Fresh Air talking about the best television of the year. As a television watcher - a discriminating one - I love that my favorites are on his list: The Daily Show, Pushing Daisies, Mad Men, 30 Rock. I need to check out Dexter and Friday Night Lights. Rachel Maddow got a nod, but not Keith Olbermann - and I understand why. (But I still love Keith.)

Alright, then. I need to get myself together. I have gifts to wrap, a party to prepare for. We've had a week of fun parties - we threw one for Gary's section at work and have attended a bunch of others. It's been fun - I love hanging with my friends. I see a year of more parties in my future; when our renovations are done we will take advantage of our new space and share it with our friends as often as we can.

I should be more Christmasy in this post, I suppose. I am feeling the holiday spirit - truly, I am. I am home with my husband and my three daughters; how can I not feel that way?

And I can share those feelings later. For now, off to wrap gifts.

Oh the weather outside is frightful ...

2008-12-23T18:51:00.000-08:00

And I do mean frightful. Truly wretched. It took us 2 1/2 hours to drive home from Indianapolis today (a 60-mile trip) on very slippery, very treacherous roads.

But my iPhone works again. That's what matters.

No more tonight - we are just home from the annual country club Christmas buffet, so I am full. And giddy. Must go put on pajamas and take it easy. Much to do tomorrow. Presents to wrap. Cookies to bake. And another party - after four solid days of parties. Tis the season, you know.

I love Christmas. All is calm, all is bright. Later, peeps!

Snow and cold and wintery weather

2008-12-17T17:16:00.000-08:00

It's funny how 22 degrees F can suddenly feel warm.

When you compare 12 to 22, it really is just that much warmer. So I am not complaining today. Nor will I complain the rest of the week, as the temps rise a bit every day.

Today I had to scrape a thick covering of ice off my car. I'm thinking we need to re-claim our garage. I have given the contractor permission to store stuff in there, but we are going to have to come up with a different arrangement - I am done with scraping.

Cold. Ice. Window scraping. Yet I am not hating winter. Because winter is necessary, a time for the earth to regenerate, that time for the world to turn, the winds to change. And it's all good with me. Because it is how things must be in the circle of life.

And aren't I all calm and zen about life these days. To be honest, yes, I am. It's how I am at this point in my life.

Alison's choir concert was Sunday, and Maddie's was Monday. Sylvia's is Thursday. I could - should - write more about the choir and music program here. And I will. But for now, I am just enjoying seeing my girls perform. Enjoying the time of year, the goodwill that abounds.

Even though I have a list as long as my arm of things to do. Gifts to buy, to wrap, to ship. Cards to address and mail. Cookies to bake. A house to clean for a party. The list goes on and on. Tomorrow I am shopping; Friday I will clean house. Somehow, this will all get done.

It always does, you know? So why stress? I"ll save my energy for something else.

The glory and the horror

2008-12-12T13:01:00.000-08:00

I love Target.

I wonder what it is about shopping there that is so enjoyable. All I can say is, their brightly colored Christmas decorations just make me happy. I love the table-top Christmas trees made of bells, in bright blues, pinks, and greens; I love their party ware. I love the holiday handtowels and kitchen accessories. If I had unlimited storage space (and, perhaps, unlimited funds) I would redecorate my kitchen and bathroom at least weekly with those fun items.

I prefer Target to Wal-Mart hands down - I will gladly pay the price difference to avoid stepping inside that store, with its feel of "no price is too low" and the general impoverished mentality. Call me a snob, but I can't stand it. I know, Target is still a big box, and I'm not so sure those places are good for the local economy. But at least Target puts its energy into good design. It's still bargain shopping, but you feel so much classier about the $10 you've saved.

That said, today, Target sort of freaked me out:

Who is this woman? Is it just me, or is she a little scary? Why the manic intensity?

(I think she looks scarier in person. Trust me.)

I am no advertising expert, but I did graduate from the University of Missouri, which has an advertising major, and I have watched two entire seasons of Mad Men. If this image was designed to encourage me to shop at Target more, then it has not had the desired effect. I wanted to run, terrified, from the store.

I'll likely need to stay away for a few days. On second thought, maybe Wal-Mart is a better bet - at least I go in knowing they are crazy.

Only 13 shopping days left - are you ready?

Errands and tasks and other minutiae

2008-12-11T08:07:00.000-08:00

I've spent much of the last two days trying to figure out just what is up with our computer. My IT guy hasn't been much help - unfortunately, he has another job that consumes most of his energy, so by the time second shift rolls around, he's not much good.

Thank goodness for the laptop. And for the fact that my IT guy has access to a printer at his primary employment.

So, the Christmas cards should go in the mail today. Or by tomorrow at the latest. Tonight I have a book club meeting, so I am making dessert today. Must run to the grocery store. And do laundry. And tidy up. And get another kitchen estimate.

Did I mention that our power was out yesterday? They had to bury our backyard power line, so the whole house was without. I left for the day, thus no laundry, no running the vacuum.

This is the excitement that is my life this week - errands, tasks, getting stuff done. And I told Gary he could have his section from work over for a Christmas party - this is his job, though not written into the job description. I don't want to make his work my entire social life (we generally don't), but he should have his people over. Which will entail lots of cleaning, but he'll help me.

Plus, it's good for people to get the "before" glimpse - they will appreciate the "after" so much more.

Must run - much to do.

This and that

2008-12-09T13:18:00.000-08:00

There's a bad word forming on my lips. I'm afraid if I say it out loud, it will leave a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe if I type it, it won't seem so foul:

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich

Yuck. And yuck yuck yuck. I am just so disgusted I can barely see straight. This is the lowest of the low.

I mean come on - Bill Clinton just wanted to get laid. That seems pretty tame, right? Nixon was a bit more distasteful - subverting the political process and all. But trying to profit by selling a Senate seat? Offering bankruptcy help to the Tribune Company only if the writers/editors who were critical of Gov. B get fired?

Truly shocking. You know, he ran on a platform of reform following George Ryan. I'm sure the irony is lost on very few. And at least Ryan put a moratorium on the death penalty on his way out.

Yuck.

*****

Parents at Jeff High School: When you park illegally and block traffic, just because you turn on your flashers, you are still parked illegally and still blocking traffic. Just so you know.

*****

I like to put a letter in with my Christmas cards. I know - some people hate them. Me, I actually enjoy them, look forward to them. I think they are so much fun to read, to hear about the lives of former classmates and neighbors, friends I don't get to see as often as I would like.

I try not to be too braggy - I'm not going to write about the parts of the year that were overly challenging or sad, but I also don't try to pretend that my kids are the best and greatest and most amazing - I think they are pretty terrific, but realistically, other parents might see it differently. So my letters are upbeat without begin overbearing. Or so I tell myself.

I've made them shorter over the years, more truncated - because really, who wants to read about every detail of our lives? Gary has an aunt who writes two full pages - front and back, 8 1/2 x 11 - and it is a bit much ("... and on the third day of RAGBRAI ..."). She told us last year about how she had created her very first power point, then she offered to send copies for those who were interested. (And part of me wanted to ask her for it, though I'm not sure why.)

My letter has been written not once, not twice, not thrice, but four times already. Stupid computer. Or more accurately, stupid Microsoft Word. I cannot for the life of me figure out what the problem is - I cannot save anything. Nothing. Nada. I finally switched over to Gary's account, and it appears to be working.

But then I couldn't e-mail it, because the file was too large (I guess the photos are making the file huge). And I can't print it out, as I need new ink for my printer and didn't get around to getting any today - I was at Best Buy yesterday, but sadly, I could not remember exactly which of the 95 types of HP cartridges I need.

Gary said he'd take it to work on his memory stick. By the time you get one, read between the lines - there is a decidedly non-Christmas-like message buried in there, born of the frustration I felt as I typed out those words and placed those photos repeatedly.

Happy Holidays? You know, even with all the computer nonsense, it still is. There is a happiness that pervades my very being.

So computer troubles, be gone! It's the holiday season, and I will not let the Microsoft trolls get me down. Instead, I am going to curl up with my book and a mug of hot cider. The cards may not be in the post, but I am sending out lots of positive vibes.

Let me know if you got yours. And not to worry - there are plenty more on the way. Even with Gov. B and his shenanigans.

NIkolaus

2008-12-07T05:35:00.000-08:00

Nikolaus came!

He always comes - he always finds us. Nikolaus never forgets.

We were first introduced to Nikolaus in Germany. Early in the morning of Dec. 6, Nikolaus comes to the homes of all German children and leaves gifts in their shoes. If the shoes are clean. He leaves chocolate and nuts and clementinas and a little gift of some sort.

The first year we lived in Germany, we did not know about this tradition. I answered the phone that morning - must have been a Sunday - and it was my friend Susanne, telling me about Nikolaus. I had read about this tradition but didn't even think about it for my kids. No worry, she said - if we would put the shoes on the porch, Nikolaus was on his way over (driven, I presume, by her boyfriend, Carsten).

And sure enough, the shoes were filled with goodies. It's a moment of kindness I will never forget.

This year, Nikolaus found the girls again. It's a special reminder of our time in Germany.

And another way for the girls to cash in.

Happy on Friday

2008-12-05T19:20:00.000-08:00

I'm tired. But in a good way.

I met with two kitchen designers today, and got prices from both. And I'm thinking I can go with the one I really want - the custom cabinet people. I know they're expensive, but they are not that much more expensive. Their prices are really not that much more than the other place. And their prices include installation. Not to mention so many cool features.

I am a convert.

Spent the evening working the holiday art fair at church. It was good - great food, lots of amazing art, and, naturally, got to visit with friends.

And I'll be back there tomorrow. I think I'll go to bed now.

Cookies and test scores and resale and ...

2008-12-04T14:23:00.000-08:00

I was reminded today of why I do not take my kids' things to the local resale shop. I generally just donate everything to Goodwill and take the tax write-off. But when I noticed that we had a perfectly good, barely used winter coat that Sylvia has outgrown, I figured it was worth a shot.

I know they are a business; I know they have to make a profit. But I could hear the discussion - they figured they would list the coat for $25. Thus they offered me: $10. No thanks - I'll just give it to Goodwill. (And they wouldn't even take the other jacket, for no reason that I could see.)

I know, they have to make a profit. They can only take name brands that they and their customers will recognize (even if it's a store that is well known in major metropolitan areas and not so popular here, with our small-town mentality). All the same, I'd prefer to just donate to Goodwill rather than have them pick through and offer a pittance for these items - I do not need the money, frankly.

If I had the patience I could do better on eBay. But who has the time? I'm better off frequenting Goodwill.

*****

I was Target today. That would make my fifth trip to Target this week. And I think I have to return tomorrow.

*****

ISTEP scores are in - our annual state-mandated standardized test. I am not a big fan of the standardized test. But it's the system we're in, so we have to persevere. I'm not too worried - my children always test well. But I do feel for other kids and families, kids for whom this test is not an accurate indicator of how they really learn or of their capabilities.

I was sent a code to use to log in and find out my girls' scores ... except that the Website is experiencing "technical difficulties." Guess I'll have to wait another day to find out whether or not the passed - or, to be more accurate, which level of commended they got. Which isn't really saying much - the tests are a bare minimum, so the kids should ideally pass easily. None the less, I think there are problems inherent in the system. Wish I could solve them.

*****

My kitchen smells like ginger and cinnamon. Mmmm. Too bad it doesn't look as good as it smells!